Afraid and Forgotten
by Mrs.cullenANDmellark32312
Summary: Isabella swan,now izzy Valdez, has moved back to her home town after 9 years, she is now a vampire. she doesnt expect to see the family that drove her out of the town. can she forgive them ALL of them, inclding Edward?. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

**Isabella swan was bullied as a child. She finally moves away, at age 8. When she is 17 she turns into a vampire, she decides to move back to Forks about 9 years later, to her surprise all her bullies are turned into vampires as well. when she comes to find all of them are changed, she asks herself will she ever be able to forget and forgive? as she becomes closer to Edward, the questions becomes more potenet in her mind, she always wonders, but never knows. . . **

**A/N I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT . . .Yet (;**

**Ok, so this is my first fanfic, I read some pretty great ones I am hoping that this would be at least one fourth as great. I am hoping to update any new chapters at least once a week. Sorry, to any grammar-lovers, this is not beta'd, but trust me I could write a whole lot worse (; Lyk ths, ths is how ppl rit skool….. but I am hoping that over time I soon will just be able to put a comma where it needs so be (: PLEASE REVIEW, REVIEWS=FASTE UPDATES (: **

Chapter 1

New

"_How dare you, you don't just walk away from me like that!" Edward Cullen yelled behind me, tears in my eyes from what had just occurred… what always occurred. he bullied, he always had, him, his friends and worse his family. They had done this since I was 6 years old, I was 8 now. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and it slammed me against the school hallway walls. I could feel a bruise coming; it'll be there tomorrow or tonight. _

"_Im sorry," I said tears coming out. He put his hand on my neck. I looked away from his glowing green eyes. _

"_Look at me!" he yelled but still quiet so no one would hear. "Now, you don't leave till I tell you…!"he paused " you tell any one that I hit you, I swear, your dead, do you hear me, DEAD!" I never have before why would I do it know, besides no one would believe me, if they had looked at who their parents were, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen, the nicest people I know. if they had looked at their grades, or how they acted when anyone was around. but if they set all that aside and knew that all the bruises I came home with was from their hard hands, and terrible minds, they would believe me when I said it was them, all of them._

_"o-o-ok" I said with out breathing… finally he let got and pointed to down the hall way, dismissing me. Then my heart came back to normal pace. Then I saw her, my heart sank, I saw her! _

_"Come here, smelly" that was me … Smelly… I looked at her with such a sad face for I knew what was coming. it had been Rosalie, Edward sister and she was as determined to keep my life a living hell as much as he was. I walked towards her, her arms folded with such disbelief in her eyes, as if she had just seen me kill somebody._

"_what did Edward say to you?" she said in a tone I had heard over and over again from her, in fact I had never heard her normal tone of voice. _

_"h-he told me t-that i-I wasn't a-allowed t-to l-leave until h-he said I c-could" I said with a stutter, I had this because I was afraid, afraid of what she has done just as much as what she could do._

_"Let's enforce that rule shall we, lets engrave it to your skull so you always remember…." she said pulling me to the girl's restroom._

_I walked out with blood on my hands and a towel wrapped around my neck know what she had written with a knife onto my skull, just under where my hairline and the space between my ear went.. She had engraved: _

_THE CULLENS_

_I ran home knowing my dad would just say it's a phase, that I got bullied because I had no social skills and that if I talked to people and let them know who I was, they would like me… _

_I ran to call my mom that same day, telling her I needed to come home, that I couldn't take it anymore… _

It wasn't till last year that I had to leave her; from what I had become I just couldn't stay with her. Knowing that she thought I was dead, kind of made me feel better, it's a better reason then the real one, I was a vampire. I had gotten bit, on my way from a friends house, my mom soon had a call from the police telling her that I had died in a car accident coming home… except they didn't find a body. So they declared me dead, my mom devastated but it was better then her being dead from my thirst.

Which I soon had gotten over, six months later. After Charlie had moved to be close to my mom, my death had brought them together, forks was a perfect place to live, mostly because I wanted to show the Cullens what had become of me… not the vampire part but when they bullied me I put on weight, now I had an hourglass figure. I used to have glasses I now had contacts. I had dry, greasy, short brown hair, now I had long brown curls all the way down to the middle of my back. I was different, I wasn't that awkward little girl any more that sat in the back of the class writing on my jeans, I was now the girl who had every guy fall for her, I had golden eyes that pretty much no one could resist and long brown mahogany hair, with bit of red that would show in the sunlight, but no one would be able to see it. but if you looked at my personality, I was PLAIN JANE I wasn't that outgoing or funny, I think they had fallen for my looks, and I didn't think that I was that pretty either.

i was a vampire now so, I knew this time in forks It would be different…

I walked into my 7 bedroom, 4 bath 2 kitchen house, which was located in the woods. I was living alone but I had a lot of money that I had gotten from, well before I was a vegetarian, I went after rich men with lots of money, I drank their blood, I had taken all the money, now I had so much left over. I spent most of it on charity but put 40% of it in a bank. That of course was under a different name. But since I needed no food, a lot of money was spent on this house. And I dare say clothes, I hated shopping, but I needed to wear clothes.

Living in forks would be an easy place to hunt, right as I got here I smelled 3 dear just outside of the woods! Easy prey, I thought to myself. With my inhuman speed, I was still not used to; I unpacked with such pace I was done with in the hour. I soon walked out side of my house to get the mail. I walked back inside reading them.

_Izzy Valdez_

_582 lindear road_

_Forks, WA 856958_

This was my new name; I of course, would not be able to use my real name, Isabella Swan. They would recognize me now, I barely looked like me. The old me. I now had eyes that changed color, pale skin over all I just didn't look like my old self. People wouldn't recognize me unless they had seen my transform or if I had told them, they wouldn't look to see if I was that little 8 year old girl that was beaten up constantly.

Just then I heard a knock on my door, I quickly ran to the door, my inhuman speed giving me a head ache. I opened it slowly, thinking who would come to my house? No body knew I had lived here, right? it was a man and what I supposed was his wife, his golden blonde hair shining in the light, light, oh how much I missed going out into the sunlight. His wife had caramel brown hair that was something I would never even imagine would be a natural color if it was, God must really love her. I listened for a heart beat . . . none.

"Hello?" I said in my ringing voice.

"hello, you must be Izzy Valdez," I nodded, " I am Carlisle Cullen ," he put his arms around his wife, " this is my wife, Esme," he smiled, a vampire by his and his wife's beauty. I didn't hear a heart beat im pretty sure they didn't hear mine either, but neither of us said any thing. I then noticed that this was just no ordinary stranger this was _the _Dr. Cullen, the one and only.

"Nice to meet you," I said flashing my smile towards him and his wife. "Would you like to come in?"

"Only if it's ok with your parents," Esme said her voice was a singing tone much prettier then mine. _She has to have some sort of family; I don't know what I would do with out mine . . ._ Esme thought, I could already tell, she was still the same Mrs. Cullen, I knew 15 years ago, would they others stay the same just as well?

"Well, then you must, you see, I live here all alone, my parents died and I became emancipated, moving to this small town, Forks," I smile but it hurt me to think of Charlie and Renee dead… I shuddered they had just saw it as me rejecting the tears; I saw it in their eyes. _She's a vampire, I mustn't say anything, she seems rather new to this life, I don't want to scare her. _Carlisle thought. _We have to talk to her soon; I think our family would get along just nicely. _

I soon looked into their mind some more, _poor girl,_ and they both thought _she lives here in this big house alone? _Carlisle thought by himself. _That's rather odd; she doesn't have any other family?_

"If you insist," Carlisle said in a tone that was lovely. _She has such a beautiful home, _Esme thought.

"What a lovely home," Esme thought, she walked in and I walked them into the living room. _Vampire? _Esme thought.

"Well, it's much bigger then my other house," I said

"Did you live in forks, before this?" Carlisle said _she looks like a person I used to know, so familiar. _He thought.

"Um, for a year, then moved with my mom and soon came back," I said, had he recognized me? _She looks like... No it can't be… _Carlisle thought.

"You look like a girl that used to live here it must have been you, when did you live here?"

"When I was… well you know what they say, everybody has a twin out there some where," I didn't bother pretending to be human, considering they were vampires themselves. But that didn't stop them from blinking at squirming around as humans do, they must be old vampires, they have this human-thing down. "But to answer your question, it couldn't have been me, "

_Hmm… interesting…_ Esme thought. "Oh, excuse me for the assumption." Carlisle said.

they soon left, just as I closed the door, I shuddered at the thought that I was just in the room with a person who was related to the people I swore to hate. They had come over to greet me, to tell me that they were the people that lived in the closest house that was near me, and that if I ever needed anything to come to their house. They were vampires, so that must, mean the others too. I instantly froze, that meant one life time of torture might have not been enough for the Cullens, and maybe they wanted to torture me for many more to come. . .

They came to my house every week after that, I grudgingly let them in every time after that. I soon found that my 3 enemies were going to the same school I was to go to when school was to start up again. All of them, 3, Edward, Rosalie, and Emmet Cullen, They were beautiful then, what about now? They probably look like models for some high end mag. now. I had found out that they were different then who, rather _what, _they were, before, I didn't believe it one bit, but one part of me wanted to. Apart of me wished they were different that no one else went through the same thing that I went through. But apart of me wanted to know that they suffered. I wanted them to never forget, that they chased me out of town hoping I never came back…

Would that change their minds about me? That I wasn't smelly belly? Would everything change just because we were vampires? Would everything be just the same . . .? I knew I was invincible but part of me was scared to death about what I had to face . . .

**A/n: what did you guys think? Please review! (:**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT**

**WOW! Didn't think that many people would read my story, well thanks readers for taking the time (: but no reviews): i see many alerted this story (: heh thanks (: and putting up with my bad grammar and spelling ETC! (: when i put it up i was nervous! you guys added a bit of confidence (: sorry for so much (:'s but i am happy (((: (; well then here chapter 2 BIG Surprises (;**

**Chapter 2**

**Party **

"I would like you, Izzy, to meet my family. I know you don't have any family, so I would like you to know mine." Esme said _please say yes! _she thought.

I was with her, while her husband and kids were out of the house, I hadn't seen _them _in the 2 months that I had become so close to Esme and Carlisle. every week, Esme and I had hung out on Saturdays, she thought she bugged me but, honestly, I couldn't be more happy to have some one around.

"I don't know, Esme, do you think they will like me?" I asked. of course not, they hated you then, they hate you now. I thought.

"OF COURSE THEY WOULD LIKE YOU!I love you, im sure they all will to! and if they don't," she said, as she put on a smirk," leave it ALL to me,"

"um…. uh…." school started next week and I was terrified to see them I was going to be ready for them in a week but not sooner.

"we can have dinner tonight! I'll cook, you just bring you cute but to my house!," Esme said in her ringing tone that I had gotten used to and loved.

"i… I …. " I had to tell her, I just had to. "Uh… I have... I have to te-tell you s-something," I said with the same stutter I had 9 years ago. She nodded as if she knew what I was going to say, she did, but I wanted her to base on me telling her, not not hearing a heart beat from my cold lifeless body. "I know you already know, but I would like to tell you," she nodded again, "im… im... Im a vampire,"

"Yes, you are right, I have always known," she said with a smile . . . what! I thought she would be mad, not embracing me in a hug so tight, I could tell she was using her vampire strength," I am too, I know you know that, but I also would like to tell you."

"Such a relief," I said sarcastically. And let go of her, "is the dinner still on?"

"Yes, of course except, of course there will be no eating, just meeting and greeting." she said with an even bigger smile before.

_You are my soft and sweet, I'll be your strong and steady_

_you be my glass of wine, I'll be your shot of whiskey_

_you be my honey\y suckle, I'll be your honey beeeeEeeeee_

I heard it coming from her phone as I she picked it up, I thought, _hmmm… she likes Blake Shelton, a country girl? Hah! We will get along even better!_

"Yes, Carlisle?" she said as she put it to her ear. She smiled, "yes, she just told me," she pointed the phone to me; I held it to my ear.

"Yes?" I said, unsure of what his reaction would be.

"Izzy?" He said, I could tell by his tone he was happy, there were people talking in the background, he must be at the hospital.

"yes," I repeated.

"im so happy, you decided to tell us, I was beginning to think you would never tell us , because you didn't trust us,"

"Carlisle, I trust you with my life, don't doubt that," I said with a sure tone.

"Yes, well, will you be treating us, me and ALL my family, tonight with you presence?" he said.

_Please say yes! _Esme thought she knew what her husband had just asked me. "Um… I would love to," I said looking at Esme; she had an even bigger grin, as if that were even possible.

"great," he said," We will see you tonight," he said then hung up.

"Fantastic," Esme said. Her smile then died down to a small smile, "Izzy, I have to ask you something," uh. Oh please don't ask what I think you are going to ask. _I wonder . . . _she thought

"Yes?" I said

"Do you have any special powers?" she said, unsure.

"Yes, I can read minds," I said in a hushed tone, although I knew that no one could hear us.

"Of course, it seems only fair that a smart girl like you would have a mindreading, my son, Edward," my heart sank, after 9 years he still had this unruly affect on my, "He also has the gift of mind reading, he is soo intelligent." she said. "my other daughter, Alice, " Alice? Who is that? She noticed my look when she said her name, "my other adoptive daughter, Alice, can see the future; you see all of my kids are vampires. we turned vampires when Edward was 17, Alice at 16, and Emmet at 18, Rosalie, "I shuddered at he name and my scare started to sizzle as if some one stuck a curling iron there. "at age 18, and Jasper, another addition, at 16 also." I smiled in understandment. "but Edward is the only Biological child, the rest are all adopted, and ar not realated what so ever."

"You have 5 children?" she nodded, "Alice has a gift? I would love to meet her," I said completely disregarding Edward, I hated Edward, not Alice. Esme noticed.

"If you can pry her away from her mate, jasper," she said with a smile

"Mate?" I asked.

"yes, Mate, see when you are a vampire, you belong to one vampire, your mate, they love and cherish you, they are very very VERY possessive over their mate especially the first couple of years within finding them, no one else should even dare looking at the girl, the male is possessive the most, only mated people can even think about looking at the other one.," she explained, I nodded. "I am mated with Carlisle, of course. Emmet with Rose, Alice with Jasper, and Edward has yet to be mated." she said, but as soon as she said 'yet to be mated' I could tell her heart sunk. She didn't like the fact that her son doesn't have somebody to love, to have, to cherish. _maybe….._Esme thought.

She has got to be kidding me. "Oh, I see, the mate is their everything. What would they do if their mate died?" I said suddenly interesting in the response I was going to get, when will I get mated?

"for girls, its not as hard; they will probably just find another mate, but not me I f Carlisle ever died I would die to, I love him to much. But for guys, they have the same idea as me, they would kill themselves, if they were truly devoted." she said this in a sad tone; she didn't like the thought of Carlisle dying.

"I don't understand, why would girls find them selves another mate, I would understand your idea, kill your self, but I don't understand, I mean you just lost the one that you loved and cherished, why would you just forget about that?" I asked, I just didn't understand.

"I, honestly, have no clue, it's impossible for me to understand." _Carlisle would never leave me like that, he—_Esme thought. She then looked down at her watch, "its 5:00 I have to get home, and the kids should be home soon, I'll have to start for the party we shall have," she said smiling.

"Of course," I said standing up walking to the door with her. she stopped to look at me at the door way, in a way that I have never been looked at by anyone, not Esme, not even my parents, the look was filled with hope, and sadness, with genuine love, I could tell, she then hugged me with full human strength.

"I love you," she said, "I truly do, just as much as I love my children," if I wasn't a vampire, I could probably cry right now.

"I love you too, Esme, as much as I loved my mother," I said as I hugged her even harder. she let go, sadness took over, right as she pulled away. "bye," I said, I got even sadder, I didn't want her to leave.

"See you later, 7:00" she said.

After she was gone, I had to get ready for the party, for _them,_ I took a shower, then got my clothes on, I wore a not to dress-y dress, it was a royal blue with 2 inch straps, with high heels, for a second I considered wearing my converse or vans but for some odd reason I chose not to. I looked at the time, 6:30, 30 minutes, 30 minutes, until I see _them _again, would they change? Some part of me didn't believe they would, the other part was wishing and hoping they did. . .

I walked up to their drive way, im sure if I was still human, it would be pounding. I counted the steps I took, and tried to calm down, didn't work.

I made it to their door, I looked in the window, I saw 2 others I didn't recognize, she looked like a pixie, with short brown hair, she was tiny, and her eyes just like the rest of us. The man had blonde hair, he was tall and handsome.

"Alice, calm down, she will be here any minute," the man said. _Calm down, calm down_ I realized what he was doing, he was a mood shifter. That must be fun.

"Your power is not going to work on me jasper, im nervous to a point of no return," I was surprised by her beautiful voice. "she is coming, I mean _SHE _is coming, Edward's mate!" WWHHAATT! i listened closely

"Alice, we don't know the whole story, your vision can mean multiple things," I couldn't listen any longer.

I was about to run away but Edward opened the door, I heard his gasp, he knew exactly who I was.

"Bella?" he said. . .

**A/N: sorry for the cliffy i just had to end it before i put too much in this chapter, i have ch. 3 completed but i want to wait before i put it up. (; I think some of you may be surprised. . . (: Review for Sneak peek (;**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**SURPRISE!**

"Edward," I said, "do you know where your parents are?" he stood there silent, and looked at me with angry, I hadn't seen this face; he was angry but not the old angry where he beat me senseless.

"Esme i-is in t-the kitchen, I b-believe," now he had the stutter, then I tried to read his mind, but all I heard was blank, I hadn't ever had this before, on anyone. it was like I was wall blocked, I became frustrated, I looked around the giant house, figures. " may i-I take your c-coat?" he said looking down ashamed.

"if you hadn't noticed, im not wearing one?" I said. Ha! he was nervous around me.

"Oh! Of course" he didn't have a stutter now, just a sad tone, what was going through his mind! Then somebody was walking towards us, with unusually light feet.

"Bella?" a girl's voice said, I turned around, my heart still sunk as it always did when I saw _her_ face. It was Rosalie. _No, no, please God no! it can't be her, it just can't _her thoughts were raging with terror, she knew exactly who I was. she fell to her knees. "im so sorry," she whispered.

"Please, if I wanted an apology, I would ask, I don't want one, _especially _from _you!"_ I said, in a hushed tone, so no one else could hear. "get up," I said holding out my hand. She took it. I don't know why I held it out; I just had this sincere sadness for her.

"Rosalie? What is the matter?" Carlisle said behind me. I turned; his expression was Flawless of course.

"Its h-her," she said looking at my scar, because my hair was up in a pony tail, she remembered the day; I was terrified, because I did to, every second. Carlisle knew what she was talking about, he looked sad now too. "It's Bella," Esme soon came to the room _Bella?_

"Bella?" Carlisle said, with uncertainty. I nodded still looking at Rosalie. Then everybody else walked in.

"Who died?" Emmet said trying to get a laugh. He didn't get one.

it stayed silent. No one moving. "We can talk," I said I was the first cause honestly I have never heard silence quite this loud.

"Please," Carlisle said walking towards a room, I walked in after everybody, "we have to talk, Bella,"

"Yeah," I said taking a chair, the only one that was empty, I could tell the mated ones sat next to each other, and so I had to sit next to Edward. "I guess we do," I looked at everybody; they looked expressionless, unsure of what to say. I began, "Im Isabella Swan. But I think you all knew that." I said, I didn't know what else to say, I looked at them. Carlisle still looked in control of everything; he held hands with Esme who looked like she saw her cat get run over. Alice was sad too, she must have known what happened she was sitting next to jasper that looked just as sad as everyone else. Emmet and Rosalie looked sincerely sad. Maybe they did change. Edward was furious, I had never seen him madder, and most of my life all I saw was his angry expression but the way he looked took mad to a whole other level.

"Bella, why didn't you tell us?" Esme spoke.

"I was unsure of what ALL of your guys reaction was going to be, I didn't know if _they_," I looked at _them_, "changed, if they still had the same intentions as the last time they saw me," I said looking down ashamed, Esme was practically my mother, she was sad that I felt like I couldn't tell her, that I couldn't tell her the truth.

"Of Course we changed, Bella, we were stupid kids," Rosalie said, no doubt, that if she was human she would be crying. I never saw this side of Rosalie before, the sad almost kind Rosalie.

"I only knew you as _that_ person; I didn't think of you guys in any other way, I still thought you guys were the same." I said, I was stupid to believe they were the same, they grew up, and so did i.

"We wouldn't even think of doing that, again, we realized after you left what we had done, we tried to find you but we couldn't, we are so sorry!" Emmet yelled with what I thought were tears in eyes, but it was impossible.

"I don't just want an apology, Emmet, I want forgiveness," I said, finally looking up and walking over to them, they all looked confused. _What?_ Emmet thought " I want forgiveness, because I thought you guys were the same people as you were 15 years ago."

"Don't you dare apologize to us" Rosalie said almost angry. "You did nothing wrong, don't EVER think you would EVER have to apologize to us." She stood up and fell to her knees again. She hugged my legs, "im so sorry, im so sorry, im so sorry!" she sobbed over and over. I took her hand and knelt down and hugged her.

"Rosalie," I said, as she sobbed into my shoulder, I hugged her tighter "I forgive you, I forgive you forgive you for everything," and I truly did, but I didn't trust her, I didn't believe that all those memories would disappear, that I would forget, that I wouldn't stay up in the middle of the night replaying the memories I desperately tried to forget.

The room stayed silent. But I didn't care I was just happy that they had changed. Rosalie soon let go, we both stood up. Emmet came into my arms with such force, I wasn't even sure what had happened, "im sorry too, Isabella," he said _can she forgive us? _He thought.

"I forgive you too," I said in his arms. This filled me with even more joy. But the same thoughts with Rosalie appeared in my mind when Emmet said he was sorry, I would never forget, NEVER!

Just then I heard a growl come from the room, behind me, I turned, to my surprise it was Edward. ," Edward, Calm down, it's just a hug," Alice said, behind me, Emmet let go of me.

"I don't care, she is mine not his," he said. _his?_ Uh no!

"What?" I said, then for the first time tonight our eyes met. It was indescribable, its like I was filled with love and happiness all at once, I felt like I was the only one in the room, and he was the only too, I wasn't being pulled to the earth any more, but to him, this one person, was mine, mine all mine, forever, no one else's, I walked over towards him. He took me in his arms and kissed me, the same feeling happened except times that by 1000. I kissed him back with such force im sure if I was human I would have a bruise, on my lips. I pulled back, but I could have been that way for two forevers. "I am yours," I said before I knew what I was saying.

I heard a squeal come to the room, as I looked into his eyes again. I finally turned my head, it was Alice. "Edward, your mated now!" just as she said that I backed up realizing what happened!

"What? Edward? Um..?" was all I could speak. I backed up more, almost in the wall. "I have to go," I had to get out of there, how could i be mated with the person I hated with every cell in my body.

I walked out of the Cullen house. I couldn't believe what had just happened. When i looked into his eyes, there was a huge spark. But this,_ this!_ Couldn't happen! Could it? No, stop thinking crazy! When i left, i knew i would hate them forever, Rosalie and Emmet was sort of forgiven, but Edward, he was the worse, he was the one that i hated more then any one. i cant look past at what he did, i just couldn't. He made my life a living hell, worse then it. he made me cry myself to sleep. He made me scared to close my eyes for even the slightest second i school and in my home, he made me terrified to walk home, to go throw out the garbage, thinking he didn't have enough _fun_ at school.

As i walked into the forest, to my home. "Bella?" i heard behind me, but it was a voice i had heard once before. Jasper. I turned, why did he want to talk to me? It wasn't his fault for anything?

"Jasper?" i said he slowly walked towards me, i stood there.

"Bella, do you know Edward's favorite color?" why on earth would he ask that?

"Of course not!" i said "Why!" i shouted.

"It's brown. Yours is Green." how did he know that?

"How-?" i couldn't finish.

"he told me." he said softly, "see, after you left, some one turned Carlisle into a vampire, the he turned the rest of the family, then me and Alice came, and what led us to you was a vision that Alice had, it was of all _of us_. You too. she saw all of us happy, living in peace, but when she came an didn't see you with the Cullens, she asked 'where is Bella?' they looked confused beyond belief, Rosalie instantly froze, Edward almost cried, Emmet tried to console Rosalie but she didn't have it they were extremely sad for what happened, they realized about 6 months after you left what they had done, Rosalie tried to kill herself over it. when she told us this, Alice had another vision she said it was of you getting turned, you were 15 then, she told us it would be 2 more years before it would happen, but after that Edward became obsessed in finding you, when Edward was 17 and a vampire you were 16, he found you, he saw how hurt you were by his actions, he wanted to know everything bout you. He found out every bit, every part of you he could. he told me it took every cell in his body to not walk up to, but he knew he had to change more, to become something bigger, to let you forget even, he came back 7 months later telling us he just couldn't do it, saying you couldn't love him after what had happened. He regretted going to you, but never forgot you." he said this in the softest tone i had ever heard in anyone, but a southern accent still hearable.

"He-what?- was obsessed with me? What?" i said so confused?

"He knew you would never be able to love him, he ran away to Alaska, and came back trying to forget you. But i could tell he never did." i turned, i couldn't face him.

"He loved me?" i said closing my eyes.

"Very much. But after a while he thought you forgot him." Jasper said walking away.

Just then someone grabbed my hand, i felt an electric current go through my body, and I turned to see who it was. I looked at his shoes. i slowly looked up to see who it was, my body went rigid as i saw who it was, i took a step back, my constant reaction to when ever i saw his face.

"Edward?" i said confused even more then i was before. . .

**A/N: Cliffy again... but Review and I'll send you a sneak peek of Chapter 4 (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT **

**Ok, some people may have thought Bella forgave Rosalie to fast, it's not the case she is beginning on forgiving her. But at the moment she had to say something. But she is not like that with Edward. He is going to have to work for it. **

Chapter 4

Right?

"Bella, we have to talk," all i could do was nodded, i started walking towards my house again, and he followed.

our walk was quiet, he stayed behind, about 6 steps, i heard him shuffle his steps.

we soon came to my house, i walked in i led him to my kitchen, "you can sit down, please?" i said, i was still trying to please him after all these years, im horrified to say, he still had me walking on egg shells. he sat down. i went to the fridge, opened it up, all i saw was blood, "would you like any animal blood i got bear, mount-,"i tried to lighten the mood, but i looked at him, he still had the angry expression, "guess not. . ." i took out some of my favorite mountain lion, i put it in the microwave to heat it up. i turned and Edward was still looking with the same expression. "Edward, say something!" i yelled.

"What? What do i say? Do i say im sorry? Do i say can you ever forget? I don't know what to say Bella!" Edward was rigid now, his face filled with some sort of remorse now.

you don't have to apologize now, just tell me why you followed me when i was 16, didn't say anything, if i had followed you and didn't say anything, you would be a little hurt wouldn't you! i just want to know why you did it, you stalked me in the dark, and didn't even say anything then, you mated with me and you still didn't say anything?" i was angry now, more angry then i have ever been, in a long time.

"i wanted to say sorry then, i just couldn't, i knew that you wouldn't want to have been matted with me, i knew still after all this time, you wouldn't or couldn't even think about loving me. Don't tell me any thing different, i saw how you looked when you were 16, you were still hurt. i still remember, but the part that haunts me the most about it is that you still do to. i hate myself for it no matter what happens it will be burned in the back of my mind, still engraved like your scar, the memories replay in my mind over and over in my mind every night, every word, every hit-" i shuddered at the memories rushing through my mind. "- every gasp, and what i remember the most is every plead for me to stop. I'll never forget, Bella, i don't ever expect you to forget, but i beg and beg and beg for you to forgive." Edward couldn't look at me, i understood.

"Edward, i don't know at this point if i ever can forgive you," i said, his face instantly fell, "but i can try, I'll try to forgive you because, as much as i will NEVER forget what happened i can't deny what happened in your house, that feeling, us being mated, i cant disregard my magnetic pull towards you." i got closer, he looked up at my face for the first time since what felt like forever. "i know im mated with you, i feel it, but i don't trust or forgive you, im not sure if i could ever really love you, but i could never lie to you and say that i do, I'll say it when i truly do. But for now im on the road to forgive you, Edward we'll try to be friends, but at this point that's all i can even think about giving you."

"Thank you. . ." he said with a sad tone but some how, some where i could tell he was happy. "I don't care if we will be your friend, i will be any thing, you want me to be if it means, i can be close to you. Just please, let me be in your life," he said still looking at me.

"Of course," i said, "Now please, have a cup of blood with me," i said looking over to the table. "We can talk," i said sitting down, he did he same. "Edward, since you seem to know everything about me, i would like to test that theory?" i tested him.

"Please, ask me anything," he said opening is arms in a way saying he was ready.

I thought for a second. Then got my question, "what is my favorite song?" i questioned knowing he wouldn't know it at all.

"Ha! Trick question you have tons!" he said with what sounded like a laugh.

I tilted my head. "Name five of my top 20!" i challenged.

"safe and sound by Taylor swift, tomorrow by Chris young, the last night by skillet, over you by Miranda Lambert, i hope you find it by miley Cyrus, those are only 5 but i know them all." he said, with a smile.

"Of course you do." I said, "Hmmmmm...," i thought, "my top 3 favorite TV shows?" i said trying to get a little harder.

"Buffy the vampire slayer, which i find VERY ironic. Bones in fox, which I know you totally have the hotts for agent booth. And Angel, which im not surprised. A question i have for you, why is David Boreanez in ALL of your top 3?" he said with a smile, im guess he knew why.

i smiled, i might have giggled a little, "im guess you already know why." i looked down. "What are my favorite top 4 movies?" i said trying to change the subject.

"Atonement, Pride and prejudice-newer version-, remember me, and x-men first class, and I'll add in one more: the hunger games." he said. Then i remembered the blood in the microwave, I got up, and i saw his expression go from some what happy to mad. He didn't like the fact that i got up? What a weird response.

i walked to the micro wave and opened the door to it, then pulled to mugs out of my cupboard. i poured the blood into the mugs, and walked back over, he had the weirdest look on his face. "What?"

"i honestly don't understand why you drinking blood like that, you only deserve the freshest blood, not left over's." he said with a protective tone.

"Well, i got the idea when i first turned into a vegetarian, i was still full but i knew later i would be hungry so i took it for later. And just as i figured later that night i was hungry and here we are, i always did that and lately i don't have to go hunting when i don't want to. i mean i still do when i have to get more and when i have to blow off steam." I said as i took the first drink. He looked disgusted but i guess wanting to make me happy, he took a sip, i guess he was happy with it because he took another drink, "you like mountain lion?" i said with a smile, he looked at me with a blood mustache, "um... You got a little..." i said pointing to my top lip, he understood as he took a napkin from the table to wipe off the mustache. "Edward why did you come talk to me? i mean if you really believed i wouldn't forgive you, why did you try?" i asked.

"Alice had a vision, but it wasn't as strong which means it's not set in stone it will be based on decisions." he said talking another drink.

"What was it?" i got closer, something i had never even thought about doing.

"she had a vision that you left, and y-you d-died," he said looking down, "i read her mind and saw all of it, i watched you die," he looked up again, my reaction to his eyes to mine is something i would never get used to. "i just couldn't-i just couldn't-" i got up and sat in the chair next to him.

"It wouldn't have been your fault, you could have moved on? You wouldn't have felt guilty." i said unsure of why he had this reaction.

"i would have only felt guilty..." he said his eyes as red and puffy as could be "i just couldn't live in a world where you didn't exist, i wouldn't be able to move on from that ever"

"I don't understand. You didn't even talk to me. We weren't fully mated yet?"

"Do you understand my feelings for you what's so ever? Even if we weren't mated, i would still love you. It didn't matter. Even if i didn't love you now or then i would still remember you as the girl i ran out of town, the girl i tortured every day."

"Edward," i said i put my hand on his shoulder. " i honestly think i could soon, not yet, but soon forgive you, i know you love me, and im not sure if i can say it to you now for sure, i wouldn't lie to you, but... soon," i said i wasn't sure of the words i said but i would DEFINATLEY try, but the way he looked at me, was filled with love, right then and there, then i knew Edward Cullen had really changed, i almost didn't care what happened 15 years ago. But i didn't know when and how i was going to forgive, or even if i would, right now all i felt was mixed and more mixed feelings.

He soon left and as we said good bye, he hugged me. Edward Cullen hugged me. If you had said that to me 15 years ago I would have died laughing. Then I remembered, he had changed. He wasn't that little boy that made my life hell, he wasn't the same, and he changed.

That night all I could think about was his eyes, they didn't have the same look as I always had before. He kept me thinking about him, that night I was the beginning on getting over the old Edward Cullen, and started to look forward to the new one, and that I can honestly say put a smile on my face.

**AN: **

**I haven't been getting a whole lot of reviews, mainly just being alerted as happy as I am for being favorite'd and alerted, I like reviews to (: just so you know. :P**

**Also I would like to recommend this one story I read a while back, I think it's AMAZING, but all the stories she writes is AMAZING! It is Pattyrose she wrote 'As if I Never Existed,' and my FAVORITE FANFIC of ALL time: 'This Is Who I am' oy, it is just AMAZING (: go and read it (:**

**REVIEWS ARE WELCOME (;**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I wanted this out as soon as possible, I know I updated already today but I wanted to update just for you guys (; ha-ha. ok, this chapter has a 'friend' date between Bella and Edward. I think its really cute. Any way I hope ya'll like it (:**

Chapter 5

Step 2: understandment in the other person.

_Knock knock_

Who would be knocking at my door at 3 in the morning? I thought to myself as I got of my couch from watching Re-runs of Family Guy. What a un-life I have, right?

I went to the door, opened it. It was Rosalie, her long blonde curls were in a knotted bun, and her clothes looked all wrinkly. It had been 2 days since id seen her last. "Um… hi, Rosalie?" I asked, I noticed I didn't have that emotion of devastation when I saw her, this time, like I did 15 years ago.

"Hi, Bella, I came over to talk," her eyes were pitch black; I could tell she hadn't eaten in a while.

"Well, then, come in, please." I said moving from the door, so she had room to come in.

"I just—I feel—like—I don't think words can express how unbelievable sorry I am, Bella, I just—I cant believe how stupid I was when I was 9" she said in a sad tone, the complete opposite of what I used to hear when I was 8.

"Rosalie I forgive you," I said unsure of my own words.

"No, don't you dare say that unless you mean it!" she yelled. Pacing back and fourth around my furniture of my living room.

"Rosalie—"I couldn't finish.

"No, I don't believe you!" She yelled, still angry, but again not in the tone I was used to. I shook my head. "Bella, if I was you I wouldn't be able to be with in 30 miles with in me, I don't I understand why you are like this. I wouldn't care, how sorry the girl that tortured me with out mercy when I was only 8 years old, to young to fight back, vulnerable, I wouldn't be able to forgive, so I wonder why you forgive me? I want to know!" she was still pacing, I shut the door.

"Rosalie, i—i—I don't forgive you," her face was still, "but I am old enough to realize people make mistakes, especially when they are 9, Rosalie, I may have not Forgiven you yet, but if I can Forgive Edward, then I can Forgive you, I swear, I will, it just takes some time, I am taking steps, not baby steps but I am taking GIANT steps," she looked sincere. She sat down on the couch.

"Thank you for being honest Bella," she said closing her eyes.

"Rosalie, I want to ask you something." I said wondering if it was the right time to ask her this or not. _What in the world will she ask me?_ She thought. She nodded. "Why did you guys do… what you did? I mean there had to be a reason; you couldn't just hate me that much, and not have a reason." I braced my self for the answer as I sat next to her.

_Wow... not what I expected_ she thought. "Well, as you know I most of my family, well we are adopted, you had a dad and a mom, they might not have been together but you still had both, no matter. I didn't my parents died when I was 4, when I did that to you… I wasn't just beating you; I was beating what I thought my dreams were. I knew they would never come true, I destroyed them, that were my way of coping," she said almost crying. "As for Edward, I have no clue why. But that was the reason my And Emmet did It." she said, she looked ashamed. _Why did Edward do it?_ She thought, she had my thoughts exactly.

"Rosalie, I understand now, why you did it." I hugged her.

"don't feel sorry for me, there was a reason for everything and my parents dying was suppose to lead me to Emmet, I would never take that back, I love him with all my heart." she said as she smiled _Emmet…_ she thought.

All I could do was hug her. I couldn't do any thing else.

"Ok" I said.

"Now, enough with the heavy," she said wiping her 'tears' away from her eyes. "Do you know if you are for sure, matted with Edward?" she said as she began forming a smile.

"Well, all I know is, when I look into his eyes, everything around us gets dim, and it feels like I am not being tied to the world any more , its him, and when I kiss him, its that but time by infinity," I said memories flashing.

"You are, you totally are," she said with a smile, "that's exactly how it feels with Emmet," _omg omg omg_! She said with a smile.

"I guess I am, I can say I am mated with him but im not sure if I am in love with him, I just don't know. " I said in daze thinking about Edward.

"RROOOOSE!" I heard behind me, I was startled by it.

She laughed. "It's ok it is just Emmet. "She said getting up, "Mates are really clingy, but it's ok," she said walking over to the door she opened it.

"oh ok," I said I walked over to say goodbye.

"Bye, Bella," she said almost out the door. Then she gave me a hug. "I can honestly say I love you as a sister," she said still hugging me.

"I love you too." I said closing my eyes. "Bye," I let go and using her vampire speed to go to Emmet.

I went up to my room, when I was there I grabbed a pencil and paper and just wrote, what was the first thing that was on my mind. I thought only about Edward. I looked over in the corner of my room and saw my old guitar and want to go pick It up, I brought it up to my bed, and sang with my guitar. Finding the notes that went perfectly.2 hours later I created this:

_**I don't think that passenger seat  
Has ever looked this good to me  
He tells me about his night  
And I count the colors in his eyes  
He fell in love he swears  
As he runs his fingers through his hair  
I'm laughing cause I hope he's not wrong  
I don't think it ever crossed his mind  
He tells a joke I fake a smile  
That he knows all my favorite songs  
And..**_

**[Chorus:]**  
**I could tell you his favorite color's brown**  
**He loves to argue, born on the 20th**  
**His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes**  
**And if you asked me if I love him,**  
**I'd lie**

**He looks around the room**  
**Innocently overlooks the truth**  
**Shouldn't a light go on?**  
**Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?**  
**He sees everything black and white**  
**Never let nobody see him cry**  
**I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine**

**[chorus]**

**He stands there then walks away**  
**My god if I could only say**  
**I'm holding every breath for you...**

**I'd never tell you but i can play guitar**  
**I think he can see through everything**  
**But my heart**  
**First thought when I wake up is**  
**My god he's beautiful**  
**So I put on my make up**  
**And pray for a miracle**  
**And if you asked me if I love him**  
**If you asked me if I love him**

I prayed that he couldn't tell that I loved him; I prayed that one day I would get over it and just forgive him…

The next morning, I was heating up some Mountain Lion blood, and then I heard a knock on the door I looked at the time, 6:12. Hmm. who is that? it was Edward, his Hair was in a mess, but it was weird, I still liked it. he was wearing A dark Grey t-shirt, with dark faded jeans.

"Umm…. what are you doing here?" I asked, I didn't want him here, with me in my sweats and tank top.

"I—well—I wanted to know if you would spend the day with me," he stuttered out unsure. "As friends of course"

"Um…. "I looked around my house. "I would love to, actually," he looked relieved. "As friends," I said with a some what smile. "I—well let me get ready and I will be right out, um... By the way, where are we going?" I asked unsure of what I would wear.

"Friend things, like go bowling, we might go to pojos, or maybe go see a movie, ya know friend things." he said looking down.

"Um... Ok, hold on…" I said turning around, "come in and I'll be right down," I turned and I heard the door shut behind me and I ran up to my room. To get changed. I put on a purple dress, not to showy though, and my purple vans. Friend things, just friend thing, only friend things. I tried to calm myself. Didn't help. I brushed out my hair and put it up in a better pony tail then it was before. I quickly ran downstairs, I saw him looking at my pictures from when I was a kid, then when I was a teen, then ones of just last year. I heard him sigh. "Ok, im ready let's go,"

He was startled and turned around; he looked as if someone had just caught him going against the law. "Oh—um…ok then… then let's go," he headed for the door. He opened it for me, I walked past him, I heard him mutter something to himself so quietly not even with my vampire hearing could hear him.

I walked out of my house, and saw a Volvo in front of me, it seems not like a car he would have, "a Volvo?" I said pointing at the car.

"yes, safe and fast, safe for you and fast for me," he smiled, heading for the drivers seat, putting the key in and ran to my side of the door, and opened it for me to get it. I smiled and got it, I inhaled the scent of him in the car, sweet was all I smelled, this was no ordinary vampire smell, this was 5 times as sweet. I liked it.

"You bought this for me?" I said, _please say no, and please say no,_ I thought to myself.

"Yes," oh no…, "I bought it this morning, in hopes that you would say yes." he smiled and pulled out of my drive way. "I thought it would be better, my other car, would not have been this safe, I don't trust it with you at all." he said.

"Another car?" I didn't want to talk about the fact that he bought this for only regarding my safety. He nodded. "Edward, im not glass, I am just as safe as you are in that car, you didn't have to buy this one just for my safety." I said looking down. "It's unnecessary," I murmured.

"Yes, it is, now don't argue" he said a little louder then his 'normal' tone, I was still getting used to. He put on the radio, he then turned it up. He must have liked the song.

"Debussy?" I said a little shocked; I was taping my foot to the beautiful tune that was on the radio.

"Yes, you know this?" he said, he turned it up a little more; I could tell he was trying to please me, in any way he could.

"This one, Clair De Lune, was one of my favorites. My mother used to play this music around the house, I only know my favorites." I said.

"This one is also my favorite," he said.

"So, where are we going first?" I asked.

He contemplated for a moment, "how do you feel about pojos?" he asked?

"Really?" I said with a smile, "I love it, but isn't that all the way in Seattle?" I asked.

"Well get there with plenty of time," he said with a small smirk.

"How?" I challenged? His smirk got bigger; he then drove the Volvo faster, then faster, then fastest. "Oh, this is how." I said to myself. I got comfortable in the seat. A long pause went along before any body said anything. "So, since you know everything about me, I'd like to know everything about you," I said silently.

"What would you like to know?" he wasn't looking at me anymore but only the road, his grip on the steering wheel got tighter. His jaw clenched, why did he have this reaction to a simple statement.

"Well," I thought to myself, "why do you like the color brown, why of all colors? I mean brown is so… boring." I asked.

"Honestly?" I nodded. "It was the color of you eyes when we were kids, milk chocolate brown to exact," he was still focused on the road.

"oh." I replied simply. "Favorite animal to drink?" I asked.

"Mountain lion," i was surprised. That was also mine. I smiled. "What?" he asked.

I just smiled, "nothing…" I lied. For some reason I liked the fact that we had something in common, but part of me was terrified.

"Ok, how many?" said the teenager, who was at the door at Pojos, waiting for the money by the entrance. He kept looking at me. _Oh my gosh she is Sooo hot!_ He thought. How disgusting, but i was used to that reaction from humans.

"Oh, um two," Edward said looking for his wallet. He got it out and held hid hand out for the money, and then he got agitated.

"Edward, you don't have to pay for me, I can pay for myself," I said, looking down at my side at realized I had no pockets, meaning no money. "Oh, well, I guess its ok," he smiled.

"I would have paid for you regardless." he looked at the teenage boy, and gave him the money, "also I would appreciate it if you didn't look at her chest the whole time I am speaking to you," he said in an angry tone. The Teenager stopped starring. And looked back at Edward.

"Oh—im –im s-so s-sorry," he sounded like what I used to sound like. _stop thinking like that!_ I thought to myself. Stop! He is different, im a\not going to forgive him if I keep thinking like that!

"i would REEEALY appreciate it," Edward growled. he took my hand in his and pulled me towards the counter. i looked at the teenager and he was still staring. _What was u with him? His girlfriend is gorgeous, he has to be used to guys hitting on her!_ He thought. He took me to the counter, and ordered 100 tokens. i looked at him in an astonished tone. "What? That guy was out of line, i could have done a WHHOLE lot worse, and you know that." he said while the guy behind the counter was getting our tokens.

"He was just a kid, he doesn't know now; you need to calm down," he stared back at the Teenager, and his grip on my hand got tighter, tighter, tightest, " OW! Edward, that hurts," i said letting go of his hand, he seems sad at the action. And put his hand back in mine.

"I'm sorry, i just- i feel very protective over you," i nodded, i didn't know what else to say, or even if to say anything. the guy came over and had all the tokens in a cup for us, "thank you," Edward said as he took the cup and he guided me to the air hockey table.

"you have got to be kidding, if you really knew me, you would know i suck at this!" i said as he let go of my hand to put the coins in the slot, and set the cup on the ledge, and went to stand at the other side of the table, as he left me at the other.

"Just try please, normal friends do this ALL the time, just try," he said as he slid the paddle to me, "here you start" he passed me the puck.

I growled under my breath so only he heard, i took the puck and i heard him chuckle. And we began; we started out slow, and then got faster, but not too fast, not using our vampire strength. Finally, i made one shot. I got the biggest smile.

"Beginners luck," he said simply then he took the puck and had a smirk on his face as he handed it to me, "this time, i might actually try," he said.

I laughed. We played again. I won again. "You do know you actually have to try right?" i said with a giggle. He playfully growled in return.

i won 7 to 4 in the end. As i took the winning shot, he used his vampire speed to try to block my shot. But i still won. " i wasn't trying , you know, i wanted you to win. " he said rubbing his hand on the back of his neck looking down

"Oh, im sure," i said sarcastically. Then i saw the skee ball tables. i took his hand in mine and ran towards them, in normal speed. "Edward can we play, please! Please, please!" i said holding my hands together.

"'of course." he replied simply. "First one to get too... Five hundred wins" he said looking at them.

"Ok," i said taking coins, and putting them in the slots. The balls came out of our machines, and we began. I took the ball and with my vampire eyesight i used it to aim. 100, then 200, i looked over at Edward's score: 350, i looked back at mine, and began again: 350, 450, then finally 500, i looked over, i was happy instantly and with out thinking took him in my arms and then he twirled me in the air, i was happy, and he could tell, him holding me in his arms only added to my excitement. He twirled me again. And again. He slowly set me down. "I won," i said our foreheads resting on each others.

"Actually, i won, i got it right before you did," he said with a slight chuckle.

I let go of him, "of course you did," i said as i laughed. Then the whole rest of the day was the best day I've ever had in my life.

"Good bye, Edward," I said about to get out of his car.

"Bye," he said I could hear the sadness in his voice; he didn't want me to leave. I got out of the car, and quickly went to his side door. He rolled down the window; I leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. Electricity bounced off from his skin to mine. "What was that for?" he said smiling.

"I had the most AMAZING day today, and I felt like I should reward you, it was the best da—I mean 'friend' date, I've ever had," I smiled.

"Well, im glad you had fun on our da—I mean our 'friend' date," he said with a chuckle. I smiled in return.

"Bye," I said with a laugh.

"Bye beautiful," I stepped back, then he rolled up the window and I walked up the drive way. He drove away waving to me. I walked in my house, and realized: beside that one time by the teenager I completely forgot about the old Edward for a day. I laughed. I was so happy to look forward to what would happen tomorrow at school.

I went up to my room and wrote this:

**Today was a fairytale  
You were the prince  
I used to be a damsel in distress  
You took me by the hand  
and you picked me up at six  
Today was a fairytale**

**Today was a fairytale**

**Today was a fairytale**  
**I wore a dress**  
**You wore a dark grey t-shirt**  
**You told me I was pretty**  
**when I looked like a mess**  
**Today was a fairytale**  
**Time slows down**  
**whenever you're around**

**But can you feel this magic in the air?**  
**It must have been the way you kissed me**  
**Fell in love when I saw you standing there**  
**It must have been the way**  
**Today was a fairytale**  
**It must have been the way**  
**Today was a fairytale**

**Today was a fairytale**  
**You've got a smile**  
**that takes me to another planet**  
**Every move you make**  
**everything you say is right**  
**Today was a fairytale**

**Today was a fairytale**  
**All that I can say is now**  
**it's getting so much clearer**  
**Nothing made sense**  
**until the time I saw your face**  
**Today was a fairytale**

**Time slows down**  
**whenever you're around**  
**Yeah**

**But can you feel this magic in the air?**  
**It must have been the way you kissed me**  
**Fell in love when I saw you standing there**  
**It must have been the way**  
**Today was a fairytale**  
**It must have been the way**  
**Today was a fairytale**

**Time slows down**  
**whenever you're around**  
**I can feel my heart**  
**It's beating in my chest**  
**Did you feel it?**  
**I can't put this down**

**but can you feel this magic in the air?**  
**It must have been the way you kissed me**  
**fell in love when I saw you standing there**  
**it must have been the way**  
**but can you feel this magic in the air?**  
**It must have been the way you kissed me**  
**fell in love when I saw you standing there**  
**it must have been the way**  
**today was a fairytale**  
**it must have been the way**  
**today was a fairytale.**

For once in my life, I was actually excited to go to school with, dare I say it, Edward Cullen.

**An: it was a little longer then intended and im glad it was, I kind of felt like my chapters were really short compared to other stories. ok, any way, who wrote the ORIGINAL version of the song I used in this chapter, it was the one and only Taylor Swift- I'd Lie. she Also wrote the 2nd song, its Called Fairytale. next chapter is first day of school (: you guys excited as much as I am? will Bella hang out with the Cullens? is her first day going to go as well as planed? all questions answered in Chapter 6(: **

**REVIEW REVIEW (;  
**


	6. Chapter 6: Back to square one?

**AN: ok, sorry this took me so long, I had finals. for school. , ok any way, I love me some more reviews, thanks to all that favorited this (: and thanks a bunch to all the people who left reviews, especially anon (: thnks. any way, here it is, her first school day. **

Chapter 6

Back to square one?

I looked at the clock, as I sat at my couch, waiting for the Cullen's, as part of my first day to High school in Forks, all of the Cullens wanted to take me. The clock read 7:10; they would be here any minute. I sat in my dark skinny jeans and black V-neck and blue converse, with my school bag. I heard a honk that startled me. I took my phone from the coffee table, and headed for the door. My hair swept over my face because of the wind, im sure I looked like a dying lizard trying to swish my head to get the hair out of my face.

I opened the handle to Emmet's Hummer; it was a big Hummer, just enough room for all of us. "You're going to school in that?" Alice was shocked.

"Alice!" Jasper hissed, yet he didn't make a move to move away from her. He looked back at me, "Sorry, Alice is a fashion di—I mean fashion guru," eh was about to say Diva, but she gave him a look, that im sure just changed his words.

"It's just fine," I said as I sat in the only available seat, next to Edward, I didn't care. Every one next to their mates, with Rosalie in the front with Emmet, Alice and Jasper in the seat in front of us and me and Edward in the back.

"So, Bella, excited?" Emmet said as he pulled out of the drive way. I nodded with excitement. and then got a little shy, he could see that, "it's alright , just stick with us and you'll be fine," he said as he started driving at regular pace, not fast and careless like Edward. _Man, this is going to take forever getting to school_ Emmet thought.

"I noticed yesterday, you didn't like my driving so I asked Emmet to slow it down today, it's been driving him crazy," Edward whispered, in a hushed tone so only I could hear. Then he chuckled.

I laughed with him. "Emmet, let her rip," I said, I didn't want to deprive Emmet of his fun so I let him. "Go as fast as you can," I said. He looked at me then smirked,

"You got it, Bells," he smiled. Then we were at school by 7:23.

"I have to go pick up my classes by the front office, so I guess I'll se you guys all at lunch?" I said looking at the school building. _Edward! Go with her!_ Alice thought. I giggled with out thinking. he noticed.

"I was already planning on it." he said in a serious tone, looking at me.

"Bye, guys," Emmet said as he walked with Rosalie. I read their minds in the car and Alice and Jasper have all their classes together, so do Emmet and Rosalie. I was kind of, sort of, maybe was hoping it would be the same with Edward and me.

"Bye," I said waving walking over to Edward. _Bye Bella, _Alice and jasper thought at the same time, and walked past Edward and looked at him serious _do NOT screw this up! _Alice thought "Bye," I and Edward said at the same time, except Edward had a different tone from mine, more agitated.

"Alright let's go," Edward said, taking his hand in mine, "is this alright? I mean friends hold hands right?" he said shyly. "I mean I can let go." he loosened his grip.

"No!" I shocked myself.

"Ok," he said tightening it again.

We soon got the main building. The secretary looked up and took a double take at Edward, didn't even realize me there. "AH! Edward," she said getting up from his seat to greet him. _Calm down, Lilly he is a minor, a minor I tell you!_ She thought. I wasn't surprised. She glanced over at me, and had the same expression except different thoughts _who is this! My Edward! Lilly! He is a minor, Lily!_ She thought again.

"Hello, Mrs. Cope," Edward said, trying to dazzle her, like he did every one else. "Izzy Valdez, Here, is new to this high school, she needs her classes, well she needs our classes," he said with a quick glance to me and a smile. We had the same classes together, that put a smile on my face. he used my fake name, no one here knew I was Isabella Swan.

"Oh, yes dear," she said looking in the stack of papers in front of her, she handed _Edward_ the paper.

"Thank you," I said. She glanced at me, man, if looks could kill.

Edward grabbed my hand, and took us out of the office. "is sharing classes ok? I mean, Friends share classes' right? I shouldn't have done that. God, some times im so stupid, I crossed the line, didn't it?" he said worried.

"Edward, Calm down. It's fine; I kind of wanted you to share a classes with you any way." I said, holding on to his hand tighter, "you didn't cross the line." I said, he took me to our first class. we walked in, instantly all the humans' smell came to me, venom came into my mouth.

"Its kind of over whelming isn't it, but don't worry you'll get used to it," he said knowing all the right words to say, he said it so no humans could hear him. he walked me over to the teacher. _oh, she is gorgeous!. she is Sooo hot! maybe I'll ask her out after class. Oh, man, I would like her to be under me, anytime. _Thoughts filled the room as soon as boys caught me. Also the teacher. "Mr. Molina, this is Izzy, she is new,"

"Edward, im sure Izzy can introduce herself," he said almost rudely.

Before Edward could respond, "im Izzy, im new to Forks," I said, in the same tone, the teacher used.

"Izzy, im guessing you would like to sit next to Edward," he said in a matter. We nodded. "Well, Edward can help you, please take a seat." _on my lap_. his thoughts were utterly Vulgar.

we walked over to the table in the very back, im guessing where he sat, and class began. "Why do you sit in the back?" i asked him in a soft tone, so no one could hear.

"When i sit in front people tend to think of me more often," he said in the same tone. _Ugh! Who does that new girl think she is? She can't just waltz in here and be together with the hottest guy in school! _A girl in front of us thought, trying not to make it obvious that she was looking at us, didn't work. . . "don't worry about Tanya, she doesn't mean anything to me," he muttered his body instantly rigid, at her thoughts.

"How do you know her?" i asked, am not going to lie, i am mated with him , i was jealous. _Edward looks hot today!_ Another girl thought only adding to my jealousness.

Edward rubbed my hand with his thumb, when our hands where still held together. "Tanya has been after me since i was 13, and you don't have to worry about other girls, i don't care for them as i care for you," he said trying to calm her down.

"oh," is all i said, but the other girls' thoughts wouldn't stop, getting me jealous.

"i told her i wasn't interested, and she still tries from time to time, but i tell her the feelings are NOT mutual." he said in a disgusting tone.

"oh," i said again, madder then ever, hearing the voices again.

"besides prefer brunets," he said in my hair, calming me down instantly, i loved the new effect he had on, making me lose my words, butterflies in my stomach, calming me down, making me dizzy, i loved his side to him rather then the side that i had only seen 15 years ago. all my classes went like this with Edward, girls making googly eyes at him, and insulting me the worse, almost making me get up from my chair and smacking them, but the affect Edward had on me was the only thing that stopped. He just made everything Crazier…

By lunch, there were 34 girls that hated me, 36 who wanted me dead, and 45 that tried to flirt with Edward, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME might I add, I was lying if I said everything was fine, and that I didn't say a word. Also, 39 that hated Edward, 42 that wanted Edward Dead, 65 that tried to flirt with me in front of Edward, I almost punched the boy who tried to hold my hand in the hallway, but Edward would be lying if he said he didn't say anything, that he didn't yell at any guy that would try to be with in a foot of me. to be honest, I didn't mind one bit that Edward was 'punishing' that guys that would hit on me, me or tried to befriend me.

as we walked in line to get our food, after Edward explained to me that they tried to blend in as much as possible, but after he saw my expression, he told me we didn't have to eat any food. he paid for mine, I tried to stop him but I heard him growl under his breath. After we got our food, and every lunch lady hitting on him in their thoughts and eye-screwing him, we sat down in the table, in the very back of the lunch room. We sat down with all the rest of the Cullens, but all of the girls sitting on their mates laps; I looked around to see if it was because of limited chairs. There wasn't.

I sat in the chair next to Edward, on the other side of the circular table. All the mates making out, me and Edward both cleared our thoughts, trying to get their attention. Didn't work. We tried again. Finally they stopped.

"Sorry, guys," Emmet said wiping all the lipstick off of his lips.

"it's fine," I said, looking at the food, disgusted. Edward grabbed my hand, and held it on his lap. Part of my, im guessing the mated part, loved the interaction, the electricity feeling like cold fire in our hands. But the other part, wanted to pull my hand away and scream at him for ever thinking about touching me. I didn't care for that part too much, I didn't want to deprive myself of my mate, just because... because of… because he…. of what he did. Thoughts flooded back…

_I was walking to throw out my garbage when I heard my name calling behind me, "Bella, Bella!" I turned to see the face that terrified my. Edward Culled, I looked to his side his older Foster Brother Emmet. "Get over here now!" he yelled. I shut the garbage, and walked over to him, not knowing what kind of 'fun' he was going to have this time. His brother Emmet was just as terrifying, only he got bored easier, and after about 20 minutes of his fun he would give up. it was a God-sent when Emmet got to me before Edward did. Edward didn't like going 2nd, so he didn't bother. _

"_Yes, Sir." he made me call him sir, all the time. a new rule he had imprinted on, but not in the physical way but in an even worse way, emotionally. _

"_Today, I was looked for you after school. In our usual place, did you go home?" he said his teeth grinded together, his jaw locked. _

"_My m-mom picked m-me up, s-she visited me from h-her home in a-Arizona." I said hearing my stutter. Trying to stop knowing it would only egg him on. he got closer and pulled my hair and pushed me against the garbage can. _

"_You don't ever leave school with out talking to me first, but NEVER in front of my friends, you wait till im all alone, then you TALK to me! Do you hear me?" he yelled in my face, his grip on my hair got tighter. _

"_Y-yes," I said. I paused. Oh, Shit! I forgot the sir, I would pay for that I was in deep trouble. How could I be so stupid?_

"_yes what?" he said his grip even tighter, I was sure when he let go, he would be disgusted by how much hair he pulled out, I would be too. _

"_i-im so sorry, i-I meant y-yes Si-Sir." I stuttered, his grip lessened._

"_That's right," he said. "Now," he slapped me, again. Again. Then Emmet joined in._

_From that point on I was terrified to even walk out side of my house._

I was pulled back from the memory by Edward tugging on my shoulder, "Bella?" he whispered, noticing my emotion. "are you ok?" I looked at him, I didn't see the new Edward, all I saw was the old one. I let go of his hand and got up and ran for the café door.

I hated how one thought could bring me back to my old thoughts, to think he was the same. I leaned me back on the brick wall, and slid down. I put my face in my hands. I hated that I was like this... I hated the way every thing was. seconds later I felt the same electricity I was feeling only seconds ago.

"Bella, what happened?" Edward said as he sat next to me.

"Memories," I said in an ashamed whisper.

"Bella, that was the old me, now, I wouldn't even think of hurting you, in any way, I can't do it, I just cant, I would never do It." he said in a stern tone.

"I know, I just hate the fact that simple thoughts in my head can take me back to that time," I said not looking up, but looking in the distance.

"Well, we'll have to make new memories so that when you have simple thoughts will take you back to new memories. Good ones," he said putting his hand on mine.

"Ok," I liked all the words he said. "I like that idea," I said.

"Great, now, let's go back inside before Rosalie has a heart attack," he chuckled getting up. Holding out his hand, I took it with out thinking, I loved the fact that I, with out thinking, could hold his hand, or push him on the shoulder in a playful way, joke with him, all these things effortlessly.

I also like the fact that Rosalie Hale-Cullen was becoming my family. The fact that she cared for me, made this dream reality. When, I thought about it, I was always hoping me and Rosalie would be friends. It only made everything better.

The rest of lunch, I talked to the Cullens, forgetting about the past completely. I could live like this easily, and with Edward by my side, it made things even easier.

The rest of school, it was like the beginning of the day, only worse, when I had gym, a boy named mike tried to ask me out on a date. I was shocked at first I mean it was my first day, isn't there like a three day wait period? But Edward wouldn't have it. After almost punching him in the face, Mike let it go.

"Bye, bells," Emmet yelled from the car. "Bye, Edward," he said in an oooOooh tone. I ignored it. Edward and I were going to hang out at my house before I was going out to hunt. I needed more blood, and even though Edward hated me doing the act, he still was happy that I was getting fed.

We walked up to my door, I opened it. "You don't lock your door?" I shook my head as I stepped in. i set my bags by the couch. "I want you to," he said in an almost angry tone.

"Edward—"he wouldn't let me finish.

"No! Im not having it! You are to lock your door! And I want a key too!" he yelled, almost growled.

"Edward!" I yelled, I looked at him and pointed at him, "Don't YOU _EVER_ USE THAT TONE ON MY EVER AGAIN,I HAD ENOUGH OF IT WHEN WE WERE KIDS! I NEVER—DON'T—DON'T USE THAT TONE ON ME!" I yelled as I pushed him, I never wanted Edward to yell at me again. EVER.

He looked at me, a sad way, even though he still looked angry. "Ok," he sighed, "I promise I won't ever use the tone on you ever again." he closed his eyes, his expression slowly calming, "but, I still want a set of keys," I tried to say something but he wouldn't let me, "No, Bella, I don't care. I am too protective of you for any compromise, do you understand?" he said. I nodded.

"I want to show you something, Edward" I wanted to show him that I wasn't as fragile as he thought I was. He nodded. I took the doorknob from the coat closet next to the front door and barely tightening my grip and it molded into my hand leaving an imprint of my fist. "See, I am not helpless or vulnerable, I can take care of myself," I said walking to him; he sat down on the couch, as did i.

"Ok," he said with a defeated tone, "Good point," he pulled something out of his pocket, it was an iPod touch, "ok, before you say anything, I want you to know that the reason why I am giving you this IPod is I want to be in contact with you at all time, and although I seem to over-protective I don't give a damn, I want you to keep it, and keep in contact with me. And my family, I put all of our numbers in it, so you can text us, using the App I put on it, when ever you need to, and I will be checking in with you too, and if i don't get a text back with in 10 minutes I will be assuming you are in trouble and come to your house with the key you will be giving me," he said in a tone that surprised me, it was a tone with zero possessiveness, as crazy as it sounds, and I knew by the way he spoke to me, It wasn't just a want from him, but a serious need. I nodded, he passed it to me.

I touched the iPod's bid center button and heard a chime, saying it was on. ,"wow, you know a regular phone would have sufficed?" i said with a laugh but i secretly loved it.

"i only want the best for you," He said, "do you agree to the terms?" he said in a stern voice. i nodded. i played with it, "you'll need the internet, to text me from the App, which is coming on Thursday, but i want to be here when they do, i don't want to leave you with any one i don't know," he said. i nodded looking at me. My finger pressed on the camera button and on the screen it displayed the room, i then pressed the inner camera button, then it displayed me and Edward.

"take a picture with me, i need a screen saver," i said scooting closer then i already was to him, he put his arm around me and i put my head n his shoulder, he kissed me head, and in that exact moment i took a picture, him not looking at the camera, but at me only made the picture only better. i was looking at the camera smiling. "i love it," i said. For the second time i kissed his cheek, "I appreciate this, i hope you know that," i quickly went to the settings and put it as my screen savor. I looked back to see him smiling, something i could never really ever get used to, the feeling of seeing him smile was fulfilling, knowing that i caused it was even better. "And what time shall you be here on Thursday?" he smiled even wider; he liked the fact that i said yes?

"Um... im guessing like I'll come after school and he should be here after school at 4, it gives us a 30 minute window," he said although i felt like he didn't have to ask, i liked that he didn't.

"Ok," i looked at the time on my iPod, 4:30. "Edward, i want to show you something."

"Well, show me," he said.

I got up from the couch. i went up the stairs, nodding for him to come with me, he got up and followed me. When he was close behind i started walking up my stairs. then i ran to the the top floor the room next to my room was sort of a room for all my old memories from when i was a kid, but it was filled with shelves that i put everything on, a rug, and a couch and a coffee table. I turned around hoping Edward followed. He did. "What are we doing in here?" i wanted to show him i was trying to move on. i really was. I wanted him to know that. i didn't answer him, all i did was walk over to the shelf to the far right in the back of the room. Going to the bottom shelf kneeling down. i pulled out 13 different books from the shelf. i walked back over to him. "What are those?" He said.

"Would you follow me?" i said walking out of the room. He nodded; i could tell he had no clue what was in my hands. I ran to the 3rd floor, it had, a computer room, and a room with a fire place that had kept all my books, the library, although i felt like another room in my house was the library. i didn't like to call it the library. I turned to find him again. i put the fireplace on and felt the heat from it right away. "These books are all the diaries from my child hood. i wrote every day from ages 6 to 14, i wrote about every thing," he knew what i meant, "i want to destroy them , i don't want to have anything hold me back. i don't want to deprive myself of anything, i don't want reminders in my house, at all."

He nodded, "ok, are you sure you want to do this?" he said.

"Yes, i want to do this together," i said handing some of the books to him. He took them and turned to the fire place.

"Ok," he said, "let's do this." he took my hand. He took us over to the fireplace.

I took the first book and put it in the fire. We took turns putting books in the fire one at a time, with each one i felt like 100 pounds was taken off of my back, i felt happier with each one burning. At the last one i smiled. "That was a giant step to forgiveness, you know that right?" i said looking at them burn.

"yes, i do know that, i didn't expect you to forgive me, never in a billion years did i think that you were going even consider giving me a second chance, thank you," he said closing his eyes.

then i kissed him, i couldn't resist it, the things he said were just... i wanted to kiss him. Instantly i felt electricity, this was one of the many things i was things i would EVER get used to. We kissed for a long time before i let go. "Im sorry," i said as i pulled away.

"What?" he said so confused.

"Not for the kiss itself, i just meant, im sorry for practically attacking you," in reality i wasn't sorry at all.

He shook his head, "you never have to be sorry about things like that. never." he said, with a smile. "Now what would you like to do?" he said with a huge smirk.

"Um... i wanted to go hunting would you like to come with me?" i said.

He nodded, "i would like that,"

We left for hunting around 5:30 and came back around 2:00 in the morning. I had a fantastic, although nothing happened i still had an unbelievable great time. We hunted, and i got blood to take home. We were walking home, my clothes a tad dirtier then they were before. I looked at my Vans, a little muddy, i wanted to buy new ones, but i didn't want to go to Seattle by myself.

"I should probably tell you Alice wants to take you shopping, on Saturday," he said in a shy tone. We got closer to my house. i took my original set of key and unlocked the door, He made me lock it before we left.

"Ok, i guess," i sighed.

"If you don't want to hang out with my family you don't have to." he said stepping in my house after me.

"no, i want to go, i want to buy new Vans." i said setting the blood down and my keys down in the bowl next to the door, and looked at my shoes. Edward sat on my couch. i went to go sit next to him.

he put my hand in his, something we did as 'friends' but i knew it meant more to him, to him it was saying i was really trying and taking a step towards becoming something more, it did to me to. "ok, I'll tell her and Rose, they wanted me to ask you, i just remembered." for once the mentioning of her name didn't give me the worse type of butterflies in my stomach but pure excitement.

"ok, im excited, i need a girls day anyway." i pulled out my iPod, i wanted to play with it, check out the stuff in it. i entered the music App. tons of songs pulled up. "How many songs did you put on this thing?"

"um, I'd rather not tell you..." i looked at him, serious."i put a lot of your favorite songs, and about 17 songs of me playing the piano, its under playlist under Edward," he said in the same shy tone that i had heard earlier. i touched the playlist button on the button on the bottom, touched it.

I scrolled through the playlist, then something caught my eye. i was stunned. "'Bella's lullaby'?" i touched the song, a soft beautiful song started only the piano. he nodded.

"i made it when you came here. i- i hope you like it." he shyly said.

"Edward, you have no idea how much this means to me, you truly don't." i listened to it, the song ended beautiful all the way through. I absolutely loved it, i was unbelievably happy. I got closer, and kissed him again, the same effect happening as every time. Only adding to my happiness. I let go, "ok, for that i am not sorry," i giggled.

"Good," he sighed. he got up, i felt sad feeling the couch cushion lifting in his absence, i felt sadder. "im going to go, Esme and Carlisle will be worried if im gone all night." he saw my sadness, "will you be at school tomorrow?" i nodded, "i will be to, don't worry you'll see me tomorrow." i got up from the couch and hugged him tight.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow," i didn't let go though. i never ever wanted to. About a minute later i finally did.

"Bye," he said.

"Bye," i walked him to the door. "Would you like to do the same tomorrow? Come over i mean?"

He nodded, "i would love to," he said smiling while he took the key from the bowl, "im taking it to get a copy of it, it'll be here by the morning." I smiled then nodded. i opened the door. Before he left i kissed him on the cheek again. He smiled a big smile and left.

That night i stayed up listening to, listening to my lullaby. My lullaby. I loved saying that. My lullaby. Writing this song:

_**Just let it flow  
Let it take me where it wants to go to  
You open the door  
There's so much more  
I've never seen it before  
I was trying to fly but I couldn't find my wings  
But you came along and you changed everything**_

_**You lift my feet off the ground**_  
_**You spin me around**_  
_**You make me crazier, crazier**_  
_**Feels like im falling' and I**_  
_**Am lost in your eyes**_  
_**You make me crazier, crazier, crazier**_

_**I've watched from a distance as you**_  
_**Made life your own**_  
_**Every sky was your own kind of blue**_  
_**And I wanted to know how that would feel**_  
_**And you made it so real**_  
_**You showed me something that I couldn't see**_  
_**You opened my eyes**_  
_**And you made me believe**_

_**You lift my feet off the ground**_  
_**You spin me around**_  
_**You make me crazier, crazier**_  
_**Feels like im falling' and I**_  
_**Am lost in your eyes**_  
_**You make me crazier, crazier, crazier Ohh**_

_**Baby you showed me what living' is for**_  
_**I don't wanna hide anymore**_

_**You lift my feet off the ground**_  
_**You spin me around**_  
_**You make me crazier, crazier**_  
_**Feels like im falling' and I**_  
_**Am lost in your eyes**_  
_**You make me crazier, crazier, crazier**_  
_**Crazier, crazier**_

and i hoped one of these days i could possuibly show him, sing for him these songs, i wasnt to share this with him. i wanted to share everything. i wanted to share my life, with him.

**An: ok I think that was the last Taylor Swift song… Maybe. I hope, I feel like I over use her too much. But anyway, next chapter will be posted next week. (: reviews (: … please?**


	7. Chapter 7

**An: sooo sorry it took so long computer was being stupid, but any ways THANKS SOOO much for the few of you that reviewed, it means the world (: **

**Chapter 7**

"Bella, you look gorgeous today," Alice squealed as I got into Emmet's car. Today I was wearing designer jeans and a striped red and white tank top with a white over shirt to where you could see the undershirt in a fashionable way; I wore this with my school bag and my same color as my tank top Nikes. Believe it or not as awkward and klutzy as I was, I could actually play basketball, thus wearing one of my favorite brands of sports shoes; they were high tops that looked good with my designer skinny jeans.

"Oh, why thank you Alice," I said with a big smile as I sat next to Edward, in the same seat we sat yesterday. I was listening to my new iPod.

I took out one ear bud so I could hear more clearly. "What are you listening to?" Edward said as he took my hand in his.

"um… take a guess." I took out my iPod, to hold it in my hands.

"I have no clue," he said with a smile. he knew, what it was, but he wanted me to say it.

_AAWW they are Sooo cute! _Alice thought, well more like squealed thought. she smiled as she looked back at us and then looked forward. then I realized something, we hadn't left my house yet. "Emmet, why haven't we left?" I asked looking at him through the front mirror.

"Edward said not to leave until you put you seat belt on," Emmet was irritated by Edward's request.

"Edward, what did we talk about yester day," I looked at him, "and you are not even wearing one either, so I shall not put mine on until you do the same." I said in a matter-of-fact tone. Folding my arms, and getting comfortable.

"Fine," he said as he put his seatbelt on, then Emmet started driving with a sigh. I looked at Edward and smiled as I putt mine on. _Finally!_ Emmet thought.

"Oh, by the way, I was listening to _my_ lullaby," I said with a smile.

He smiled, "how are you liking your iPod?" he was still smiling.

"It's pretty awesome," I laughed. "Thank you,"

"You're always welcome," then my now favorite song ended, I had to change it, I pulled it out of my pocket and unlocked it. I looked at the screensaver; it was the picture of me and Edward. I smiled down at the screen, went to the music app and changed the song. I changed it to another Edward song.

"I love you're songs," I said putting the iPod back into my front pocket.

"I composed them all myself," he stated shyly.

"Wow, they are all beautiful." I scooted closer to him, every time Edward opened up or told me something about his life at all, I felt closer to him. I liked these moments.

"They are nothing compared to how beautiful you are." He was shy about saying it, I could tell. I answered by scooting even closer to him. And I could hear him chuckle.

We got to school, all of us got out. "Bye," Rosalie said to me.

"Bye Rosalie, bye Emmet," I said. _By bells, have a good day_. Emmet thought as he walked away with Rosalie.

"Bye Bella," Alice said taking hands with Jasper.

"Bye Alice, Bye Jasper." I said scooting over to Edward.

_Bye, Bella, have a good day,_ Jasper thought, as they walked away. I laughed because even through thought I could hear Jaspers Southern Slur.

Edward grabbed my hand, and started walking me over to our class. Then I saw her. I started to get the worse kind of butterflies. It was Jessica, Edward's old Ex-girlfriend he dated her the whole time the last time I was here. She looked at me, and walked over.

"Eddie, aren't you going to introduce us?" she said in a flirtatious tone. She didn't recognize me, thank God!

"Um… don't call me that, and this is Izzy Valdez," he said still holding my hand. Saying I was his.

"Hi, im Jessica," she held out her hand, and I felt memories flood back.

_I was in the hallway on my way to the bathroom, I was 7 and I was just hoping none of the Cullen's was here in the hallways or their little friends that did the same thing they did. But not to the extent. _

_I turned and I saw her, my heart dropped. I instantly felt sad. "Where are you going?" Jessica said._

"_t-to the b-bathroom, ma'm" I stuttered._

"_Uh-huh," she didn't believe me, "you weren't going to tell the principal about Edward's fun with you?" _

"_Of course not," I knew what the consequences were for that. I wasn't risking it._

"_Good. Good, because if you did you are dead," she said, I didn't understand how 7 year olds could be sooo mean, I thought my only trouble as a 7__th__ grader was going to be fighting over a swing seat on the playground. I was constant reminders like this that I never did tell any one about these _fun _times. _

"_I know, ma'm," I always had to call Edward sir and Jessica ma'm, the rest I wasn't suppose to talk back to them at all I could nod, but never say a word. Unless they asked a question, only then I could answer._

"_Come here," she said as she pulled me in the bathroom and beat me._

_That was the first of many time she hit me. She became one of my night mares too. . ._

"Izzy?" I got pulled out of my memory when she called my name.

"Oh sorry," I said as I let go of her hand. "Edward? shall we go to class?" I pulled his hand and took us in to class.

"it was nice meeting you," I could hear behind me.

"Same for you," I shot back. and me and Edward went to class.

"Edward? You still talk to her?" I said as I took my seat.

"Jessica comes to talk to me, "he said as he sat down. I raised my eyebrow. "and I tend to talk back, I wouldn't want to be rude." he said.

"How long has it been since you guys have dated?" I pulled out my notebook, trying to keep my cool. Wasn't working.

"We broke up when I was 11?"

"Why?" I pried.

"I told her, I wanted to find you, to say sorry, and she laughed and said a lot of things about you, and for some reason I don't understand, I mean were weren't even vampires or mated yet, I felt protective of you and I yelled at her telling her you will be a greater person she would ever be, she thought I had feelings for you, even after you left 3 years before, I broke up with her because I felt determined to make my options, decisions, choices, and my life better," he said pulling out his pencils, books, and science book. I did the same.

"Ok," was all I said. I believed him. But I still hated Jessica; she was the one that wasn't sorry. I made a promise to myself that I would get her back.

"Are you angry with me?" sometime between Jessica and sitting down our hands fell apart. I shook my head and put his hand in mine. "Good, because I don't think I would be able to handle you being mad with me." I smiled and nodded.

Periods 1-4 went by quickly. Then it was lunch time; we got our food and sat down at our usual table.

"Bella, are you going to the talent show on Friday?" Rosalie asked.

"What?" I was taken back by her question.

"the Annual forks high talent show, they have one every month, some people are really good, but others have ruined a lot of songs for me." Emmet said, pretending to eat a rice crispy treat.

"um… yeah sure, I'll go, are you guys going?" I asked.

"Of course, we wouldn't miss you performance for anything." Alice squeaked.

"My WHAT?" I said surprised.

"I had a vision this morning, you are going to be in the show, singing a song," She said. I was not ready for this.

"um… I don't know… I can't really—"I couldn't finish.

"Don't be silly, in my vision you sang perfectly," Alice said, "I know you write songs. And you are going to sing one at the show." she giddily said.

"Um... Ok?" could I actually do this? I mean did I have the courage to get in front of all of my old class mates, and sing for them?

Alice squealed in happiness. "You write?" Edward, Rosalie, Emmet asked in an astonished tone.

"Quite frequently since I've moved here," I said shyly. Remembering the songs that I'd write. "I guess I can be in the talent show…. Who is all going?"

"Everyone in school and Carlisle and Esme always come to these things." Emmet said in a reassuring tone.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Edward sounded sincerely concerned.

I nodded and smiled. This actually could be fun.

As me and Edward walked up to my front door, I tried to get my keys out of my pocket, "allow me," Edward said pulling his key out of his pocket, then opened the door. We both walked in and put our stuff in the closet. "Bella, I want to ask you something, but you can say no," he said as I took off my shoes and out them in the closet. We sat down at the couch.

"Ok, shoot," I said.

He smiled, "can I hear you play one of your songs?" he said pleading.

"Sure," I said quietly, getting up to go get my guitar, "stay here, I'll go get my guitar," I said running up to my room in the fastest pace I could. I came back to see he hadn't moved an inch. I sat back down next to him and got my guitar ready. "Ok here we go," I sighed. I was so nervous.

"When ever you're ready," Edward whispered.

I started out with just the guitar.

"_**Just let it flow  
Let it take me where it wants to go to  
You open the door  
There's so much more  
I've never seen it before  
I was trying to fly but I couldn't find my wings  
But you came along and you changed everything"**_i sang quietly and then I slowly became louder.

"_**You lift my feet off the ground  
You spin me around  
You make me crazier, crazier  
Feels like im falling' and I  
Am lost in your eyes  
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier" **_he smiled at the chorus.

"I've watched from a distance as you

_**Made life your own  
Every sky was your own kind of blue  
And I wanted to know how that would feel  
And you made it so real  
You showed me something that I couldn't see  
You opened my eyes  
And you made me believe" **_I became to my original tone I had when ever I was singing, he kept smiling. _**  
**_

"_**You lift my feet off the ground  
You spin me around  
You make me crazier, crazier  
Feels like im falling' and I  
Am lost in your eyes  
You make me crazier, crazier, crazier Ohh" **_he knew who I was singing about, I just kept going.

_**"Baby you showed me what living' is for**_  
_**I don't wanna hide anymore**_

_**you lift my feet off the ground**_  
_**you spin me around**_  
_**you make me crazier, crazier**_  
_**Feels like im falling' and I**_  
_**Am lost in your eyes**_  
_**you make me crazier, crazier, crazier**_  
_**Crazier, crazier"**_

As the song ended, so did his smile, then I looked at him and he smiled again. "Was that for me?" I nodded. Then he kissed me, my lips molded to his and his tongue swept against my bottom lip asking for entrance, I was happy giving it to him. We continued kissing for a good 10 minutes, none of us needed air so it made it easier. I let go. "Thank you," he smiled again.

"Youre always welcome," I repeated his words from earlier in the day. I felt like I had given him a part of me that I would never want back, I felt like I gave him a part of my heart.

"Would you show me more?" he said as he leaned in again putting his hand on my thigh, right above my knee, it didn't bother me. But I did notice.

"Some time, maybe you could see some more at the show," I said setting me guitar down.

"Ok, I'll be looking forward to that," he smiled. ,"do you have more... ya know about me?" He shyly said the last part.

"Um... Lately they are all about you…" I said quietly. Looking down.

He scooted closer, "Really?" I nodded my head, he lifted up my chin with his index finger, "hey, don't be shy,"

The shyness was gone when he said these words; I could feel the tingles from his finger and hand. "Ok," we looked at each other, his eyes, his golden brown eyes, were staring at me with such genuine love it sent chills up and down my spine. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he said. "Of course."

"Do you still have feelings for Jessica?" I knew it was a crazy question but the mated part of me was filled with jealousness. I just had to ask.

"OF COURSE NOT!" he said almost yelled. "Why on earth would you think that?" he was angry.

"I just—I can't—I thought—I don't know… I was... jealous…" i said quietly ashamed of what I had just asked.

"You don't EVER have to be, I am yours, always and forever, always and forever. that will NEVER change, I am mated with you, I don't think I would ever be able to exist with out you, I have told you this before, remember we had this conversation in your kitchen I said I couldn't live in a world where you don't exist, I love you so much, I cant even so much as think of another girl, ever since I saw you when you were 16. I wouldn't be able to love anybody else but you, I feel a little hurt that you would think I would like Jessica or any girl or thing like her." he said with out catching a pause. I was in shock, I knew he wouldn't like another girl but I didn't know he was _mine_. I liked the thought of that.

"Oh... Thank you for clearing that up..." I said quietly.

"I shouldn't have to clear anything up, you should know I ONLY belong to YOU, no one in the world could change that." he said sitting back down next to me scooting closer then he ever had before. then kissed me, differently then he ever had before, other kisses he had given me were filled with passion but not this much, heat but not like this, force but not this forceful. it was the effect of every kiss that he had given me put together time 1,000,000. Sparks, fireworks, and the whole sha-bang. He pushed me so I was laying down on the couch he hovered over me, and we continued kissing.

I finally let him go, "that definitely cleared it up," I cleared my throat lifting us both so were sitting down on the couch, him still close as possible.

"Good, im glad," he said. Smiling, but not quite, more like a smirk. I pulled out my iPod, to check what time it was, im guessing he saw the screensaver, because he pulled it out of my hands and starred at it and smiled. "You still have this picture as you screen savor?"

"Of course, what would I change it to?" I scoffed.

"I don't know… maybe that that Robert Pattinson guy you're in love with, or Adam Levine, David Boreanez, or Josh Hutcherson— the list goes on and on." he said.

"Edward, I don't know any of those people, and even if I did they wouldn't hold one tenth—no one thousandth of the attraction I hold to you," I said quietly. I read the time 5:30, I don't know why but time seemed to fly by when ever I was with Edward.

He didn't say any thing but just smiled. "I want to show you something also on Friday, too," he said.

"Ok, in the show?" I asked.

"You'll see," he said with a smirk.

I couldn't wait till Friday, I was excited, to see what Part of him he would let me have this time. I was hoping soon, I would have every piece of him available, just for my self.

**(FRIDAY!)**

In the morning I found myself feeling giddy and excited about seeing Edward. I felt this way everyday this past week, we always rode to school together, and stayed in school together, and hung out after school. But that didn't stop me from feeling like this was the first time all over again, and being head over heels filled with excitement just so see him.

I was even more excited that today he would show me something as he promised on Tuesday. We were both performing but we didn't tell each other what were going to sing.

Yesterday, the internet guys came over, boy was that fun. Edward was being antsy; Alice told him that something would happen, but to keep calm. And Alice was right. The younger guy was putting the modem for the internet in my room, I went up with him, while Edward stayed down stairs with the older man.

"So, is that your boyfriend down stairs?" He said as he was messing with the wires.

"Um... No just a really good friend." I said.

"So, he wouldn't mind if I asked you out on a date?" he laughed.

"Um, im not sure about that," I said.

"I mean, he shouldn't if he was just a friend," he said in a thinking tone.

"I, actually, _would _mind." Edward said behind me. he was angry.

Let's just say, we didn't end in friendly terms, or at least they didn't. I was pulled out of my flash back by a beeping noise by my iPod, a text from Edward no doubt. I clicked on the app that let us text each other. And sure enough:

**A New Message **

**From: **

**Edward (:**

I pressed on it.

Edward: **Hey.**

I laughed, he had sent me messages, like this all the time since he had gotten internet.

Me: **hey (;**

Edward: **What are you doing?**

Edward, his texts were always asking this, his possessive side was always texting me, but the mated part of me didn't mind that at all, the other side thought it was cute.

Me: **I am getting ready, and debating this whole talent show thing. );**

Edward: **Don't be, you'll be perfect. I know you will be. We are on our way. See you in about 15 minutes. (: **

Me:** Ok ;D C Ya. 143**

Edward**: See ya. 1432**

I always said '143' meaning I love you, and he always replied '1432' meaning 'I love you to' I didn't mind it, It was the truth, I wasn't ready to be completely over it and his forever but by saying 143 it gave me little pushes to say the real thing.

By him saying he that he believed in me, I trusted him more. With everything.

The show wasn't until tonight at 6:30, I couldn't wait to see what he would do. I heard a honk from outside my house. I ran outside, with my bag and iPod. I did the same thing I always did which was to sit next to Edward. I sat down.

"Bella, are you ready for today." Alice and Rosalie said at the same time, in a chipper mood.

"Not even close," I sighed pulling out my iPod and headphones to listen to music to calm my nerves. I scrolled to 'Bella's Lullaby'.

"Are you ever going to get tired of that song?" Edward said as I put one ear plug in. I shook my head no. then he chuckled.

We drove to school, we said our goodbyes. School went by with out a problem, none that didn't happen every day. Girls _tried _to flirt with Edward, and I yelled at them, Guys tried to ask me out and _TRIED _to flirt, Edward yelled at them. Same old same old. By our last period my stomach was in knots, the worse kind of butterflies were in my stomach, and what made it all worse was that Edward said he wouldn't be coming home with me today, he said he had some stuff to before the talent show. I didn't ask questions, it would only make everything worse. But he did drive me home in his Volvo, that mad everything sort of better, but not really.

I looked at the time, 4:45. Alice said she would be here around 4:50 to get me 'ready' for the show, something I wasn't to excited for her getting me ready or the show. i heard a knock at the door, and it opened. Something Edward forgot to mention: He gave all the Cullens a spare key. I wasn't to happy about it, but Edward, it was Edward who did it, I got over it because he was only looking after me.

"Bella?" Alice said from the bottom of the stair case. _Where is she?_ she Thought.

"Im up here." I said, knowing she would be able to figure I was in my room, the top floor. I turned around and she was there with a big bright pink suit case. "oh you have got to be kidding me?" I said walking over.

"Bella, I want you look to good to day, and I brought some one here that wants to help with that. ROOOSE!" she yelled, in a tone im sure only dogs could hear.

"Alice, im right here, do you have to yell?" Rose said walking inside the room. _Geez! _Rosalie thought.

"Hi, Rose," I said giving them both a hug. "All right let's get started."

Alice set the big suitcase on my bed, "sit down in the bathroom." I went to the bathroom, and turned on the light behind me, hearing their high heels behind me. I sat down on the toilet with the seat closed. "Ok," Alice said," Rose start curling her hair and I'll start with her make up."

. . . . . .

I looked at the mirror to see the finished product. I started with the shoes; the girl in the mirror wore my purple converse that I had begged Alice to allow me to wear them. I slowly looked up to see dark designer skinny jeans that made every curve in my legs noticeable to a certain point that seemed flawless. She was wearing a purple tank top with a black tank top over it layering just right, with a leather jacket, All the curves of her body were just in the right places, and just enough skin showing, but the I looked up and saw some thing that shocked me, in the mirror, her eyes were Smokey black, with the perfect amount of mascara, she had the perfect amount of blush, something I hadn't seen on her face in what seemed like forever. Her lips with the right color lip gloss. and her hair curled with certain pieces pinned up with bobby pins, to look like I had body and layers. in the mirror I saw a person I wanted to see when I was 8, it was my dream come true, and I thought I'd never say it but, it was because of the Cullens, a smile came onto the girls face.

"Do you like it?" Rosalie said? _Please?_

I turned around, I gave both of them a giant hug, "I absolutely love it, thank you, both of you so much, What time is it?" I said letting them go.

"6," Alice said, "We have to leave, to be ready for the show,"

"Ok, bye," I said.

"Are you crazy?" Rosalie gave me a scoff, "We're taking you," she said.

"oh," I smiled,"ok."

"Lets go," Alice said taking my hand.

. . . . . .

**(An: Ok I thought about stopping here… but I couldn't do that to you guys so here ya go.) **

I walked in the Auditorium, hearing the audience only added to my nervousness. Alice and Rosalie were already sitting down, with the Cullens, I looked in through curtains, and Edward was probably some where in the back. Then I heard the principal say about 5 more minutes to get ready then we would start. I was supposed to be the 2nd to last one, Edward was last.

With my guitar in hand I went to go check on my hair and make up, in the bathroom, everything looked the same. Then I heard a ring coming from my iPod.

**A New Message **

**From: **

**Edward (:**

I pressed on it.

Edward: **143**

Me: **143 (:**

And in that second ALL of my butterflies went away because I wasn't singing this song for them I was singing it for Edward. Edward. Edward! It was Edward out there. He wouldn't judge, he no longer looked down on me, he was mine and I was his…

. . . .

"Ok, we are almost done, we have two more," The principal said into the microphone. "I'd like to introduce a newbie to the Forks high stage, MISS IZZY VALDEZ!" I heard the crowed applause. And I walked out with my guitar.

I walked to microphone hearing nothing but silence. "Hi, im Izzy, and as he said, I am new, to this so I am a little nervous." I said," ok, umm. This is a song I wrote, and it is a song I wrote to someone very dear to me, someone I would never want gone, I love him and I always will," I looked around at the stage and I saw Edward, in the back half way behind the curtain to watch me, "this is for him," I said staring out in the crowd, but Edward knew it was for him.

_**Everybody needs inspiration  
everybody needs a song  
A beautiful melody  
When the nights are long**_

_**'cause there is no guarantee  
that this life is easy**_

**_Yea when my world is falling apart_**  
**_When there's no light_**  
**_To break up the dark_**  
**_That's when I_**  
**_I look at you_**

**_When the waves are flooding the shore_**  
**_And I can't find my way home any more_**  
**_That's when I_**  
**_I look at you_**

**_When I look at you_**  
**_I see forgiveness_**  
**_I see the truth_**  
**_You love me for who I am_**  
**_Like the stars hold the moon_**  
**_Right there where they belong_**  
**_And I know I'm not alone_**

**_Yeah when my world is falling apart_**  
**_When there's no light_**  
**_To break up the dark_**  
**_That's when I_**  
**_I look at you_**

**_When the waves are flooding the shore_**  
**_And I can't find my way home any more_**  
**_That's when I_**  
**_I look at you_**

**_You appear just like a dream to me_**  
**_Just like kaleidoscope colors that cover me_**  
**_All I need_**  
**_Every breath that I breathe_**  
**_Don't you know you're beautiful_**  
**_Yeah_**

**_When the waves are flooding the shore_**  
**_And I can't find my way home any more_**  
**_That's when I_**  
**_I look at you_**

**_I look at you_**  
**_Yeah_**  
**_Whoa-oh_**  
**_You appear just like dream to me_**

by the time I was done I felt a knot in my throat I was sure that if I was able to id be crying by now, the crowed applauded, and kept applauding. and kept going, people stood up, I heard whistles from the crowd, and I looked at the Cullens, they were so happy, and filled with love, I looked at Edward he was in Aw, and he was smiling.

"Thank you," I said in to the microphone, and walked off the stage.

"Wasn't that wonderful," The principal said into the microphone behind me. The audience had finally died down. "Ok, the next is also a newbie to the Forks high stage, but we welcome all newbie's right?" he paused, the audience agreed, "Ok, the next one is," he read the paper, "Edward Cullen?" he said although I could tell in his voice that he was surprised.

The girls in the audience went wild, I mean wild! The principal walked off the stage and Edward walked on. He was wearing Black faded jeans, with a dark button up shirt with the sleeves folded up to his elbow, his hair in a mess that always seemed to be organized. He walked over to the piano, and sat down; he adjusted the microphone so it was in front of his mouth. He looked at the audience which had finally died down.

"Hello," he paused. "I wrote this song for a special girl, that a long time ago, I made a huge mistake with, I was wrong to do the things to her, I don't think she will ever understand what it means to me that she has given me a second chance. I will be grateful forever; I will always love her, every day of forever. This is for her," he looked at me then his sheet music and began to play.

_**I'll wait a hundred years,  
but I'd wait a million more for you.  
Nothing prepared me for,  
what the privilege of being yours would do.**_

_**If I had only felt the warmth within your touch.**_  
_**If I had only seen how you smile when you blush.**_  
_**Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough.**_  
_**Oh I would've known what I was living for all along.**_  
_**What I've been living for.**_

_**Your love is my turning page,**_  
_**where only the sweetest words remain.**_  
_**Every kiss is a cursive line.**_  
_**Every touch is a redefining phrase.**_  
_**I surrender who I've been for who you are,**_  
_**nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart.**_  
_**If I had only felt how it feels to be yours**_  
_**Oh I would've known what I've been living for, all along**_  
_**what I've been living for.**_

_**Though we're tethered to the story we must tell,**_  
_**when I saw you, well I knew we'd tell it well.**_  
_**With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas,**_  
_**like a feather, bringing kingdoms to their knees…**_

Edward looked at me with a smile, and I ran to the stage. I hugged him as hard as I could, with me vampire strength. He chuckled. "Thank you, I love it," I said in his ears. Hearing the crowd go wild, screaming girls hitting notes that were higher than Alice's today.

"I love the song you wrote for me," he said in my ear, "but you don't have to worry, I would never leave you, I promise."

That night was perfect. I would never forget it. It made me realize Edward was the only one for me, all my doubts left, they would never come back. Edward and I had taken a huge step, but mostly me, in forgiving him, in loving him, in letting him in my heart forever. it was step I was afraid that if I didn't or hadn't made, I wouldn't be able to love him all the way, it wasn't just something I did for a talent show, it was something I did for me, for me to forgive him. I would never forget it. Never. I would keep it in my cold heart forever. Every single day of forever.

**AN: RREEVVIIEEWW! (: PS I was thinking about writing this story in Edwards point of view, but different title, but just in his POV? what do you guys think should i? RREEVVIIEEWW… Please?**

**BTW: Songs: **

**Taylor swift- Crazier**

**Miley Cyrus- When i look at you**

**Sleeping at last- turning page**


	8. Chapter 8

**An: ok this is not really a chapter. This is a text conversation between Edward and Bella. (: Hope ya like (: PS: this is the night of the talent show, but after it. **

Chapter 8

Edward: **What are you doing?**

Me: **nothing… WBU?**

Edward: **No, Seriously tell me what you are doing. And I am reading.**

Me: **what book?**

Edward: **Wuthering Heights. Stop avoiding telling me. I want to know. Now.**

Me: **nice book, huh? I love it. (;**

Edward**: Bella. Tell. Me. Now. Or. I. will. Be. At. Your. Door. Step. in. 60. Seconds**.

Me: **Fine, I am writing a song.**

Edward: **Care to tell me what about?**

Me: **It is a surprise I might show it to you at the next talent show**.

Edward: T**hat is next month. Please. Tell me a line at least?**

Me: **hmmm…. (Thinking if I should tell you) …..**

Edward: **Please?**

Me: **"Cuz I don't know how it gets better than this you take my hand and drag me head first Fearless. "**

Edward: **(; And how is the song for? (:**

Me: **Oh some great boy.**

Edward: **really? Should I be jealous?**

Me: **Yes, Definitely (: Im falling hard for him. I try not to but it happens any way**.

Edward: **Maybe you shouldn't hide your feelings.**

Me: **yeah, Maybe.**

Edward: **Im sure he feels the same way times ten.**

Me: **im not sure, ya see, something happened that kind of makes me lose trust for him all the time. I try to. I know I should but out is always there in the back of my head.**

Edward: **Im sure he doesn't expect you to Forget, just forgive, im also sure he knows your trying to forgive. It means the world**.

Me: **Im in love with him you know. . .**

Edward: **he is in love with you too.**

Me: **that means the world to me, Edward. That makes me soo happy** (:

Edward: **im glad**.

Me: **Edward, What if in never able to forgive, what if forever, I'll always look you the same way I did when I was 8?**

Edward:** I will always be by your side. No matter what.**

Me: **Forever?**

Edward: **And always…**

Me: **(:**

Edward**: will you?**

Me: **Now and Forever.**

Edward**: (:**

Me:** Edward, I am really close to for giving you, trust** me.

Edward**: I do trust you, never doubt that**.

Me: **I don't. I just feel like you don't think I will ever be able to forgive.**

Edward: **There is always doubt in me about that. What I did to you… I just…**

Me: **Edward, if I wanted to leave, I would have left by now, I know it gets hard, but I could NEVER leave your side. If I wanted to go I would have gone by now.**

Edward:** (:**

Me: **Edward, don't doubt that.**

Edward: **Now I don't.**

Me: **do you promise never to leave me?**

Edward: **Bella, I'll be with you forever and Always. I couldn't even fathom leaving you. You are my everything, my world, my day and night. **_**The **_**one**.

Me: **ok.**

Edward: **ok.**

Me: **can you come over. I need to see you. **

Edward: **Why what's wrong? Bella. Tell me?**

Me: **nothing I just want to hang out with you. (:**

Edward: **oh ok. (: I'll be there at 1:45.**

Me: **ok, hurry I might fall asleep it is midnight (;**

Edward: **1) you are a vampire 2) Vampires don't sleep. I'll hurry. Have some blood ready for us to drink.**

Me: **ok (: C ya.**

Edward: **C ya. 143**

Me: **1432 (:**

AN: Again, Edward POV? what do you think about the idea? REVVIIEEWW?


	9. Chapter 9

**long AN at end… sorry /:**

**Chapter 9**

I was waiting for Edward to come over; he said he would be here at 1:45. I didn't feel the need to get dressed so I was in sweats and a tank top with my hair in a messy bun. I waited in my library room reading, I figured I didn't need to open the door for him, that he would just us his key, but just then I heard a knock. I ran my fastest speed to the door. Unlocked it, and there he was, with a smile that I swear could light up a dark room.

"Hey, come in. I finished writing so I was reading." I said walking up to the library. He followed. "What? Why are you being so quite?" I still walked up the stairs.

"Because, you could be wearing the simplest thing in the word like sweats and a tank top and you could still be so beautiful," he said.

"Edward..." he didn't let me finish.

"No, I don't want to hear it, you are gorgeous, above gorgeous really." He said in a soft tone. "You don't see yourself the way others see you, you look like an angel, I swear."

"Just come on," I said going to the library. We walked to the library. He sat down in the only chair available; he scooted over so i could sit next to him. "Oh, it's flattering that you think I am that skinny! My butt would never fit that, I mean I have a small butt, but is still there you know!" I said with a giggle.

He scooted more over, "is this good?" I scoffed and just sat on his lap. "Ok, I guess this works," he sighed as I got comfortable. We sat like that for a long time before anybody say anything. I just loved when it was silent, no one saying anything. I read on his lap for a good 30 minutes before I remember the blood in the microwave. I got up. "Where are you going?" he said worriedly.

"To get the blood," I said running down stair and getting the blood. "Here, I got you mountain lion," I said handing him the mug. Me sitting back down on his lap drinking my cup. He took a sip, and smiled.

"Delicious." Was all he said.

"thanks." I said in a soft tone.

"Can I ask you something?" he said putting down his mug on the side table.

"Sure," I replied setting my cup on the same table.

"After you left, did you have any boyfriends?" he said.

"Um… not really, there was one boy, but that didn't end on good terms." I looked down.

"You don't have to tell me." He questioned his actions. "Really you don't,"

"No, I'll tell you," I sighed. "Well I was about 16 and my mom Renee and I moved to another city in Arizona, so I was enrolled into a new school. I was the shiny new toy, everybody wanted to know me, but I was the suffer in silent type, I didn't like all the new attention." He nodded. "Sooner or later, I got used to being by myself, until one day at lunch; I sat down at my normal table by myself. A boy came over, he introduced himself as Jacob, and he was sweet, funny, and cute. Everybody had a huge crush on him, including me. I already knew who he was, believe it or not, he was the quarter back, the most popular guy in school. I thought he was trying to prank me when he wanted to take me out on a date, I said no at first, then he eventually took me out by my saying of yes. I didn't understand why a guy like him would ever want a girl like me. I was made fun of for going out with him, saying he was doing charity work, but he told me not to listen to them, and i, being the naïve person I was, believed him. Then as we got more serious I wasn't the laughing stock of the school any more, but when his friend asked me to the senior prom, Jacob was pissed of course, then his friend said 'Jacob, I don't want to play this game anymore, I am done with the bet' Bet. I was a fucking bet. The bet was to see if he could turn a loser like me into prom queen. I asked him, and he said he had really fallen for me, that it wasn't about the bet anymore. I told him to fuck off, that I didn't want to see him anymore. What hurt is everybody saw and knew about this before me, what hurt the most is thinking and believing he had actually liked me at all. I didn't care any more about anything, I just wanted to get out of there, so I tried to run away telling my parents I was going to friends house, but I ended up getting in a car crash, someone found me and turned me into a vampire. Then I came here." I looked down, ashamed.

"That son of a bi—"I didn't want him to finish.

"Edward! I believed him. It is my fault."

"Don't you dare say it was your fault, it was the prick's fault for creating some stupid bet! If he ever contacts you or if I ever see him he's dead" hearing him say the word dead, brought me back to when I was 8.

"Edward, I—no! You are not going to do that. I don't want to hear you say that you are going to kill somebody ever again." I paused. "I wasn't wanted back then. It is fine I'm over it. But don't you ever say the word dead, please, it brings back everything."

"Ok," he nodded in understandment.

"Edward, you don't have to worry about him. Seriously," I my hands on the sides of his face, "seriously."

He nodded. "Ok,"

. . . . . . .

When he left, what he said, gave me everything to finish the song. I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep the song in till the next talent show so I decided I would show him on Sunday. I wasn't sure if we were just friends or not any more. I knew we had a deeper connection, and I know it is wrong to be 'leading' him on for something bigger then friends but I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. It hurt me to know that he was waiting so patiently for me to forgive him he knew I was trying; I was worried about the rate I was forgiving him at. I was almost there, it's just every time I made a step, it felt like a memory would take me 3 steps back, and my guard was back up. I hated that the memories still had this power over me, which my mind couldn't control. I would do anything to just forgive or even better forget.

. . . . . . . . .

**A New Message**

**From:**

**Alice**

I stopped reading just to answer her, I pressed on it.

Alice: **Shopping today? Please?**

Me: **who is all going?**

Alice: **Me, Jasper, Rose, Emmet… and Edward ;)**

Me: **ok, I guess I could move stuff around in my busy schedule (:**

Alice: **k :) we'll be there in about 45 minutes.**

Me: **ok I'll be ready.**

I laughed at the fact the she thinks Edward had to apart of it in order for me to go. I mean it was true, but I didn't want her to know that. I changed into skinny ripped

jeans, with my purple tank top with a jacket. I waited and keeping her word, they were here 45 minutes later at 10:23. I ran outside, but to my surprise, it was the Volvo outside not Emmett's big hummer. I opened the passenger side door in the front, to talk to Edward.

"Why are we taking this car?" I asked sitting in the empty seat in the front next to Edward.

"Because Edward wanted to drive," Alice said behind me, I looked in the back to find all of the, Emmet was barely fitting in.

"Edward?" I asked.

"I like driving to Seattle." he laughed.

When we got to the mall in Seattle, Everyone got out and Alice about lost it, telling people how long they had before "lunch" (getting together for a break). We had about 3 hours with our mates before the girls would shop and the guys would "shop".

Alice was walking to the door, then she stopped,_ Are you going to be ok, alone with Edward?_ I nodded. _Ok, I'll text to check in later. Bye!_ Alice thought, as she took Jaspers hand and led him to the mall.

"Bye bells," Emmet said taking Rosalie hand. _Bye Bella! _Rosalie thought walking with Emmet.

I turned to Edward and took a deep breathe. "Are you ready?" I said about to take his hand, he reached for mine then took it.

"Let's go," he said walking me to the mall. We walked in hand in hand, "where do you want to go first?" he asked.

"Hmm…." I thought, "Music store? I need a new piano." I said looking for a music store.

"Why do you need a piano?" he questioned. Walking, im guessing, in the direction of the music shop.

"I want to learn how to play, im hoping I will be able to play my lullaby." I said," I want to learn, will you teach me?" I said as we walked in. I was taken back by all the pianos, the guitars hanging up, and all sorts of musical instruments.

"Of course I'll teach you. But first what kind of piano do you want?" he walked me over to the piano section.

"I have no clue." I said gasping at all the different kinds.

"How about this one?" he pointed to a black, shiny one in the corner of the room... ( ** solichmusic(DOT) com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Kawai-grand-piano-ebony(DOT)jpg ) **

I looked at the price all the numbers got me woozy, "Geez, I have money but I couldn't spend it on this, not for this much." I looked at astonished. to be honest I absolutely loved it, I loved the way it looked., but most of all I loved that it reminded me of Edward New, shiny, strong, yet breakable, chic, it had so much character, it stood out from everything else, it was beautiful.

"I'll buy it for you," I looked at him, "really early birthday present?" it was august 19th today, my birthday was September 13th, that means it would have been a really early birthday present. All I could do was nod yes. "Excellent, I'll have it to be shipped next week."

After he bought me my piano we went to the apple store so I could get an iTunes card to put new music, Edward insisted that I should get one, I tried to argue, saying I had a lot on my iPod already but he wouldn't have it.

Yet again Edward bought me something, it was a cover for my iPod, I laughed because it was a purple cover with black designs on it. he also bought me the 100 dollar gift card for iTunes.

After all those things we went to hot topic, which is my absolute favorite. I, myself and only myself, bought jewelry, a dress that im sure I'll never be able to wear at school considering our sparkly skin, but Edward talked me into wearing it, although it was pretty short im not sure if he bought it for me with the thoughts of others looking at me or not. I also bought a green day t shirt. Edward didn't have a clue that they were which made me laugh.

By the time we were done, we had about and hour before we had to go back, and meet up with the others. "Don't you want to buy anything?" I asked Edward, I felt bad that I was the only one that bought anything.

"I don't need anything, you should see my closet back home, and when ever Alice is stressed she tends to shop… its Alice so apparently she is stressed all the time," he smiled.

I laughed in response. "Let's go to the movie store?" I asked. He nodded, and grabbed my hand again; it was something that felt natural to us, now, something we did with out thinking, more of a need.

We entered the store with people everywhere in the store. _Who is that? _a man thought as he looked at me. _She is soo fine! _Another thought. _I have to ask for her number. She is hot. Who the Fuck is that? _Thoughts like this roamed the store as I walked in, all eyes on me. All of a sudden Edward took me and kissed me right on the lips with a lot of force, this wasn't a needy kiss but a wanted one, only by him, I didn't understand why. And then I thought about it, he kissed me because he wanted to let every one that I was _his._ id didn't want that, I wanted him to kiss me because it was in the moment, not to show owner ship of me, in front of people I didn't even know, people that didn't stand a chance compared to him. I backed up. "Why would you do that?" I whispered so that only he could hear. _Oh, she has a boyfriend, _One thought.

"To get that reaction, the Oh, She has a boyfriend one," he said angrily. I let go of his hand, he let out a small growl, that only I could hear. I walked to the back of the store to talk to him.

I looked at him seriously. "Edward, my heart is not something you could just claim." he paused. "It's for me to GIVE away. You don't own me yet, I've given you bits and pieces to borrow but you don't own or have all of it, stop acting silly and understand that they don't have a chance against you."

"Bella, but you are my mate, I technically do own you," he said in a not angry tone anymore.

I scoffed. "Edward, You DO NOT OWN ME, AT ALL! I AM MY OWN PERSON NOT ANYONES TO OWN OR PURCHASE WITH GIFTS!" I quietly yelled.

"I didn't mean it like that, Bella, I feel like your mine, or that I own you, in terms of protection, I feel very protective of you, I get that your not mine, but I will not stop buying you gifts, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, when I do things like that, or tell you I love you, im not asking for anything, its not because i want you or because I know right now I cant have you, im not asking for anything, ive seen the best and worse of you and I understand in perfect clarity of what you want. It's just me reacting to others. In my way, I know it's not exactly the right way to handle these things but I am, protective of you and that would never stop." He said with out skipping a beat.

Just then I kissed him on the lips, all the words he said, were what I needed to hear. He knew what I wanted now, between us, he knew that I wasn't ready for anything more then this right now, I so badly just wanted to just snap my fingers and say I forgive you Edward Cullen for making my life a living hell when I was ages 6 to 8. But I just couldn't, I wanted to, but I wasn't ready for it. I got closer everyday, but it also got harder every day, I would try so hard to forgive him, I was sorry that it was this way. But I know soon, it'll be changed, Different, Better then now.

. . . . . . . .

"Bella! What did you get?" Alice and Rose said as we all sat down to the biggest table in the food court. She looked at the 3 bags in my hand. Where is the rest?" I looked behind he, Jasper and Emmet carrying around tins of shopping bags. "is that it?" she looked at Edward he nodded, "Bella, your are going real shopping when its our turn right after our little meeting right now." She said.

I laughed as I looked at her and Rosalie, "ok," I said. "Well, I also did get a piano too," I said in ha-ha tone.

"Wonderful." Rosalie said. I smiled in response.

. . . . . .

"Here we are," Alice said with a sigh. I looked in her direction of point of view.

**Victoria's Secret**

Oh No! Oh, no! Oh no! I thought. "You don't have to buy anything. Alice and I just want to pick up some stuff. Ya know." She said with a smile. "For Emmet and Jasper," then she looked serious. "All you have to do is not fall in there." She said then she laughed. I nodded then they both locked their arms to mine and walked in.

Then they started to look around, while I just walked around cautious not to fall down. "Hey, you guys come here!" I heard Alice yell from the back of the store. Rosalie and I walked over to her, "isn't this just the cutest?" she held a dark blue lacey bra in her hands. _This would look perfect with Bella's pale skin and brown hair! _She thought.

"Absolutely not!" I almost yelled. "I cannot wear something like this. I mean, why would I? It is not like any one would see it."

"It's is not for anyone, but you, it will make you feel confident, and what not Bella!" Rosalie said behind me.

Maybe confidence is what I need right now, I thought. I looked at them both seriously. "Fine," I mumbled. Alice squealed, and Rosalie smiled. _Excellent!_ They both thought. After getting matching bra and underwear, in about 4 different colors, Rosalie and Alice wanted to have 'Fun' they had this smirk when they told me.

_I wonder if she would do it. _Alice thought. "Do what?" I asked.

They both looked at each other and smiled. "Belly button piercings!" They both yelled.

"Absolutely fucking not!" I yelled.

"Please?" they said.

"I'll give back your house key?" Alice said. Rosalie nodded in agreement.

Then I nodded. "Ok, I've always secretly wanted one any way," I smiled with excitement.

Before I knew it I was laying down on the bed in the piercing shop with a man hovered over me touching my belly button, Alice and Rosalie by my side, holding their bellies, they had gotten theirs done before mine.

"Ok, this is going to hurt a little," the man said. I nodded closing my eyes, just then I felt a hard and fast pinch and nothing else, "whoa, geez I wonder why none of you guys bled, that was so strange." She said hooking in my piercing.

"Yeah, I wonder why." Rosalie snickered.

I got up and walked up to the front counter, "Bella, you might want to cover your ears before pricing and money is exchanged." Alice said as she took out her credit card. I covered my ears and once the credit card was back in Alice's purse, I took my hands down.

"If you don't mind my asking, why did you guys get those initials as the belly ring," the cashier asked.

"Well, 'E C' for me is for Emmet Cullen," Rosalie said

"And 'J C' for me if Jasper Cullen." Alice said with a smile.

"And... um… 'E C' is for, um… Edward Cullen," I couldn't speak, I realized what I did. It was a sign of some sort of owner ship, the whole conversation we had earlier practically set back 10 steps. But some side of me was ok with that.

"Your boyfriends?" he said. They nodded. "Well, don't show too much owner ship, they'll walk all over you," he said as he gave Alice the bag of our other belly rings we bought.

We all nodded in response. "Well, Bye," We all said as we walked out of the shop.

"Have a nice day," he yelled to us. We looked back and waved. When we turned we saw all of them, walking towards us.

"Who was that?" they all asked.

_The piercing guy, we all got our bellies pierced! _Alice thought.

"you did not!" Edward said in disbelief. We all nodded. "Well, let us see!" he said in excitement. Jasper and Emmet looked at us in confusion. We all lifted up our shirts so they could see.

"No fucking way!" Emmet yelled. "That is so hot rose," he said as he examined the ring, and say his initials.

"Alice!" Jasper said holding the ring between two fingers, and then he kissed her.

"Come see Edward," I said motioning him to come over.

He examined it, and smiled. "'E C'" he said with smile. The he came back up, and then I kissed him. it wasn't like the one we had earlier, it was slow and not forced. it was something that I could come to do with out gasping, kisses like that. he let go, "thank you." was all he said.

But it wasn't only for him, it was also for me. For some reason it took me closer to him.

. . . . . . . . . .

After tons of shopping we headed home around 7:30, i was excited because I knew Edward would want to come home with me and hang out. "Bye!" Everyone yelled behind us, as we got out.

As they pulled out Edward and I went inside, after me using my key that Alice gave me, Edward wasn't too happy that got it back from her, after I told him the deal he was happy. He dropped the bags by the door.

I went up to my room, I turned to shut the door but to my surprise Edward followed. "Oh," I said.

"I have a bad feeling for some reason." Edward said walking in, looking out the window.

"Well, keep your back turned so I could change." he nodded and went back to the window. I started to change into sweats and a tank top; I changed quickly because I wanted to spend more time with Edward. I sat down on my bed, "ok im done," he turned. I motioned on the bed for him to come and sit down. He hesitated before he sat down. "Ok, Edward I want to be serious. Did you really break up with Jessica when you were 11?"

He sighed and shook his head. "If I answer this question then you got to answer my question?" I nodded. ," I was 15," he sighed. I gasped because he lied to me, but he was being honest now, we both were, I was going to put it aside for our relationships sake because it was the past. "What is Jacob's last name, now?"

"Black," I said under my breath looking down. "Ok, why didn't you talk to me, when you came to see me when I was 16?"

"I was ashamed I mean wouldn't you be, you made an amazing little girls life a living hell, ran them out of town even, and changed them forever. I wasn't ready to talk to you; I don't think you were either. I thought it was better this way, but even then I knew, you were the one. My mate, like Jasper told you Alice had a vision, and then and there I knew it, but I just knew and felt like you couldn't forgive me ever. I was so ashamed, disgusted in myself. Even years after you left I had nightmares. I didn't think that you would forgive Me." he said looking at me while I looked down, then he asked his question, "do you know where Jacob is now?"

I nodded my head, "in Phoenix, with is girlfriend, he'll graduate this year." why was he asking questions about Jacob. It was over between us, it didn't matter any more. "Why did you hate me when we were younger?"

He gave me a look of sadness and confusion. "I don't really know, you see, I think even when humans I still felt possessive and protectiveness over you, see, the first time I saw you, you were beautiful—" my mind flashed to before, when I was 6, me chestnut hair cascaded down my shoulders, my eyes chocolate brown "—you were talking to a little boy about your age, maybe older, everyone knew he liked you, I hated that, you showed interest, I guess I was angry because of it, that's why I started, I wanted you, I thought no girl would want me, that's why I thought, If I was cool maybe I would get someone."

I got up from the bed, and walked over to the window, "guess it worked, huh?" I said with venom in my mouth.

"Bella, I was 5 I did not know the difference between right and wrong, it stuck when I grew up. I told you I was sorry about Jessica, you know I Am." he said.

"ok," was all I wanted to say, "your question?" I sighed and stayed by the window.

"do you try to cover up your scar still?" he said coming over to me, I turned around.

"How did you know about that?' I held my neck to where the scar was.

"Rosalie told us, once you left." he took my hand away from my neck and replaced it with his lips. "Im so sorry," he whispered, "If I could restart everything I would. If I could change everything I would."

"I know," I nodded he lifted his head," do you consider us boyfriend and girlfriend?" I blurted out.

"I don't know, honestly." He said with a smile. "I guess we could say that, if it alright with you."

"It is," I said simply. "Wow, Edward Cullen is my boyfriend." I said then I smiled. "If you would have told me that before I probably would have laughed my ass off." I put my arms around him.

"Wow, Isabella Swan Is my girlfriend," he said, with a smile. I gave him a hug, and held him tight, "I love you," he said quietly. He said it so natural, like nothing, but it meant everything.

"I love you too," I said I held him tighter. "Nothing will change it, nothing," I said.

"I know, same for me, no matter what happens I will love you. Always have on some level and always will."

. . . . . . . . .

He left my house around 2 in the morning; he said Carlisle would be worried. But that didn't stop him from texting me.

**Edward: do you want to come over tomorrow, Carlisle and Esme want to see you.**

**Me: of Course. . . Are they mad at me for not telling them?**

**Edward: of course not. They say, you had all the reason too. **

**Me: Oh, ok.**

**Edward: they say they have a surprise for you. I don't even know what it is, they are very careful not to think about it around me. Alice can't even see what it is.**

**Me: hmmm… im excited now. What time should I be ready?**

**Edward: well it is Sunday tomorrow so I'd say I'll pick you up at… 9?**

**Me: yeah that sounds good (: **

**Edward: Ok see you tomorrow (:**

**Me: I'll be waiting (;**

**Edward: Good. **

To be honest I wasn't sure if seeing Carlisle and Esme was such a good idea. I mean, I wasn't sure of how they took everything. Did they know me and Edward were an item? How would they take it? Well I'd just have to see. . .

. . . . .

I took a shower and my hair was wet and cascading down my shoulders and back, I was looking for some clothes to wear in my towel. I picked jeans and a grey tank top with a red tight plaid button up shirt to go with it, but I left all the buttons unbuttoned. I got my black converse and ran downstairs with my iPod and keys in hand, although I knew I wouldn't need them, I like to hope. Just then I heard 2 honks then I ran outside, I locked the door behind me and went to the passenger side of the Volvo, I got in.

"Hey," I said buckling up my seat belt, because I knew Edward wouldn't drive with out me having one on.

"Hi," he looked at my set belt and smiled. I looked at what he was wearing. he was wearing a light blue dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up with a pea coat and faded jeans, even wearing something as simple as this he was beautiful. "Esme and Carlisle are excited to see you today."

"Really?" I asked surprised.

"Of course. Why wouldn't they be?" he said turning the car onto another road in the forest.

"I don't know, im a little nervous, I guess."

"Don't be, they already love you, there is no point for nervousness now." he said staring out into the road, then he became faster, and faster, then fastest.

"Ok," I said getting comfortable, but before I knew it we came to a stop.

"Were here." he said getting out of the car. I was about to open my car door, when he was outside opening it for me.

I giggled, "thank you," he took me hand, and we went up to the door, it was weird last time I was here, I hated Edward, I didn't want anything to with him, except to teach him I wasn't that little girl any more I was different. But I showed him that in a better way. He opened up the door and we walked in, he took off his coat and set it down on the couch that was by the door. _Is that Bella?_ Alice thought in the other room, and before I could say anything she was right in front of me, jasper by her side. "Hey, Alice," I said, when I gave her a hug. Then the same to jasper, "hi jasper," when I hugged jasper, I heard a low growl come form Edward. I went back to his side and held his and tighter to reassure him.

"Hi," they both said. _Edward! It was a hug! No need for that_! Alice thought. _Sorry, dude, I understand. _Jasper thought. Edward nodded and smiled in his direction, but held my hand tighter.

_Is that _my _bells?_ Emmet thought as he and Rosalie came in the room. and an even louder growl came from Edward. "Edward, he was only playing." I said so quietly so only Edward would hear.

"Hey, Bella!" Rosalie and Emmet both said as they came in for a giant hug. I gave them both hugs back.

"Bella?" Esme called from the back of the house, to where the dining table was.

"Come on lets go," Edward said pulling my hand with him towards the dining room. I followed and we went to the dining room, I saw Carlisle and Esme sitting down in the table, with cups in their hands. "They followed your idea with the blood," he said into my ear, it sent shivers up and down my spine.

"Hello, Bella!" Esme said getting up. Carlisle did the same. _So happy that you could come!_ Esme thought knowing I would hear.

"Hi, to you both thank you so much for having me!" I said in the same tone of excitement they had.

"Well, as you may have heard from Edward that I and Esme have a surprise…err… surprise_s_ for you, how you take them is your decision, but you don't have to take them at all, but we would like to lay them out on the table." Carlisle said in a soft tone, but it was still filled with confidence.

"ok, well, what Is it?" I said in a worried tone.

"We would like you to become apart of our family, and live here." Esme said with a smile. She paused, "you would still have your house, but I would like you to have your own room here with Edward, I would love to see you everyday, and that simply doesn't happen when you live out of the house. "She said in almost a sad tone. "But there is more," MORE? "We want to show you something…" before I knew it I was in a room full of musical equipment, from pianos to stuff from a recording studio.

all that came out of my mouth was a laugh, "Esme! Carlisle!" I laughed and then hugged them both. "You guys! thank you! I said.

"all of it is yours," Carlisle said letting go, "and your bedroom is upstairs next to Edwards, of course, what do ya say, would you like to live with us?"

"Honestly, I would love to!" I said hugging them again this time using my full vampire strength.

"Thank you, Bella," Esme said as I let go.

"No, thank _you!" _I said looking around the room, "I can't believe you did this." I said my fingers slid over the top of the piano, it wasn't the piano that Edward bought me.

"you deserve it, Bella, you sing beautifully, this is our gift to you, you could do anything you want with it," Rosalie said behind Esme and Carlisle.

I went to hug her, even though I knew she would hug back, it surprised me. It made me instantly. "Thank you,"

"What? No hug for me?" Alice squeaked with a giggle behind rose.

"Of course," I said letting go of Rose, and then giving Alice a big hug.

"Im glad, that you'll be living here," she said as she let go.

"So will I," Edward said behind me, he grabbed my hand and entwined our fingers. I looked at the Cullens and there they were in a circle around me and Edward smiling.

And for once in my life I felt wanted in the world, like I belonged in one place, I found exactly what I was looking for, it was everything I was looking for and so much more, I was so happy that I found happiness when I was afraid and forgotten.

**AN: this is not the end. but sorry for the late update, I had to visit my family, not that I didn't find It amusing, it just was longer then I expected. **

**I changed a few of the things like in chapter 1 and 2 before I said it was 15 years later she came back, I don't know what was going through my mind, but I changed it to 9 it feels like a better timeline then 15. sorry for any confusion.**

**I will try sooo hard to update sometime next week. I have some ideas but none I really feel that would end up right. but thanks for sticking with me if you did(: I appreciated it.**

**and pleeeaassee 14 pages (on word) is worth Reviews PPLLEEAASSEE(: more reviews= faster updates.**

**And one more thing: I read a story (FANFIC) it was called 'help wanted' it is on my favorites, I COOMMPPLLEETTLLEY recommend it, it was amazing! (: **

**REVIEW? O.o**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Bella, are you sure you want to do this?" Edward said behind me, holding empty boxes, duck tape, and 2 sharpies.

I lead him to my room, "Edward, its not like im moving all my stuff there, just stuff that I will need there, like clothes and stuff like that, maybe books, movies," I paused before I entered my room. I opened the door; I was worried because I knew he would be looking through my stuff when we would be packing so I could move to his house, so that kept me shy and nervous. I went straight to my closet and started pulling out essentials, like, shirts and pants. "Ok, I want to get a good amount of shirts and pants, and everything else." I said when I turned my head to talk to him.

He opened up the box and duck taped the bottom, and wrote on the top 'clothes'. I started handing him tank tops. He neatly folded them into the box. "You have so many clothes, but it seems as if you only wear half of them?" Edward surprised me by his observation.

"yeah, I mean, it is not like I'll be able to wear any of the clothes out of the house, so no one ever sees me in them," I sighed.

"Why can't you go outside in them?" he asked, but he didn't look up from his job.

"You're kidding right? I can't go outside because of they way our skin looks outside in the sun."

"Well, you could wear them when we are hunting or when we hang out?" he tried. Just then, I stopped what I was doing to look at him.

He looked up, "why do you want me to wear my tank tops?" I asked with a sudden hint of aggravation in my voice.

"I don't know," he paused. "I think you would look…" he paused again; "nice in them." his answer totally surprised me.

"Oh?" I didn't mean for it to sound like a question but it did.

"I mean, its not that you don't look… nice…. now, its just I think it would look really good on you, that you would look… nice" he said as if he was walking in egg shells.

"Edward, you think I would look… nice." I paused, and then he looked at me and nodded his head, "I didn't wear them, because I thought I wouldn't look nice in them."

"Bella, why would you think that," he said in the same careful tone he had before.

"Because, let's say, I don't think im the most prettiest," I said looking back at my closet, and beginning to work again.

"Bella, your gorgeous," he said standing up, "why would you think that you were less?" he put his hands on my shoulders.

I turned around. "Because, there are tons of people in the world that are prettier then me, smarter, funnier, I don't find my self attractive at all," I sighed again.

"You are so crazy," he whispered. "You are the most beautiful thing on the planet, on the inside and outside, don't ever think anything different. you hear what people say ALL the time when you walk in a room, im surprised I don't have to beat people up because they wont leave you alone, you are beautiful," just then he gave me a kiss on my lips, but it wasn't just to kiss me, it was also to reassure me, in his arms I never felt so beautiful in my life.

"I love you," I said. "I guess I could start wearing my tank tops to look…nice," I teased.

He chuckled, "I am kind of positive you're going to look way better then… nice," he teased back. "I love you too." he said it with a genuine smile that sent shivers up and down my spine.

After packing all the clothes I wanted to take to the Cullens' house, we started with little thing, like books and knick knacks, pictures on the wall. "Ok, I want a good amount of books at your house, so—"I pointed to the top three shelves, "—these are being taken."

He nodded and started putting the books in the boxes titled 'books'. I started pulling pictures down from the walls and putting them in boxes. "Who is this?" he said behind me. I turned and walked over to him, to see what he was looking at. He was looking at 5 maybe six pictures I had stuffed between 2 books on the 1st shelf. Damn it! I thought. I thought I hid that somewhere else. I looked at the pictures. it was pictures of me and Jacob from 2 years ago, one of them the were hugging, another where I was holding his hand and walking down a street. One where we were with a bunch of other friends, all of us coupled in pairs with one other person. All the rest is where we are kissing, holding each other close. It hurt looking at the pictures. "Bella?" he looked at them intently.

"It's… Jacob," I said quietly taking the pictures, seeing them just… it made me hurt. he was the first guy I actually loved with all my heart, it hurt more to know I was only a bet and I believed every word he said. I sat down at the bed.

"Hey, it's ok," he said as he held me.

I looked at him, "I have no clue why I am acting like this, he is gone, he is not coming back, im not going back, I don't love him any more, he never loved me back, I don't miss him, it all in the passed," I kept looking at the pictures, "im sorry, I know you hate seeing me act like this over one guy."

He chuckled, "you know me well, but that's not the only reason why I hate seeing you like this, I hate it because he did this to you, you have no idea how much I hate him for this, he should have never done that to you, im sorry,"

I sniffled. "No. you shouldn't be sorry, it wasn't your fault, it was my fault for believing I was wanted, I thought I was. But I wasn't, I believed that the most popular guy in school wanted be, needed me, I believed that he did, because he told me. I was stupid."

"Hey!" he whispered. "You are anything but stupid." I sighed. "You're not; don't let any one tell you any differently, he played you. He messed with something he shouldn't have," he paused, "your heart. He believed he had the right to, but he didn't, like you said, your heart isn't something anyone could just claim, it was something _you _had to give away. He didn't think at all how it would affect you. He was wrong to think he could just use your heart, he was the stupid one, not you,"

"Thank you," I said hugging him close, I dropped the pictures on the floor, not caring any more.

"Hey, any time, that's what boyfriends and girlfriends are for." he rubbed my back.

"You wouldn't cheat on me right?" I mumbled, ashamed of what I asked.

"Bella, im terrified that you are going to cheat on _me_. I don't deserve you. Why would you ask such a question?" he was startled, and obviously did not like the question.

"He did it. cheated on me, that how I knew he never loved me, I was gone for a weekend and when I came back I heard he had sex with my best friend Jessica." I looked at him, "Awesome, right?" I said with a sarcastic tone. "My best friend." I was instantly sad. He never let go.

"I would never in a million years even think about cheating on you. Don't doubt that," eh said.

"Ok, I trust you," he just held me tighter. "Edward, you have it," I said quietly.

"What?" he said confused.

"You have my heart." I said, "I give it to you,"

"You had mine a long time ago," he said, "thank you,"

"No. _thank you!" _i said. "You have no idea how much that means to me," I said truly, it meant everything to me to hear those words.

"I don't know what I would do with out you," he said quietly.

I paused, "I love you,"

"I love you too,"

. . . . . . .

"Now, Bella, your room is—well im sure Edward can show you where It is," Esme said with a smile.

I smiled back, and then looked at Edward.

"Come on," he said with 3 boxes stacked up in his arms, same with me. I followed. We soon came to the top level of the Cullen house; we were the only two on the top floor, except for the 'movie room' a room for the Cullens' movies. My room would be at the end of the hall, his would be right next to mine. We walked into a room with a big king size bed, a desk, a couch, 4 shelves, and a TV, and a computer on the desk. He set the boxes down on the floor.

"Where is the closet?" I said looking around.

"There," he pointed to the back of the room behind me. I turned there were two doors, I dint know which in he was talking about, "the one on the left is the closet, the one on the right is the bathroom,"

I walked to the closet. And slowly opened it afraid of what was behind the door. I looked in, and gasped. The ROOM was huge! it had shelves for t-shirts and stuff, and racks for my pants and actual shorts, but there was shelves for, like, sun glasses, and Jewelry, some shelves already filed with stuff, and most of all the shelves and racked already filled.

"Do you like it?" he said behind me.

"Edward, you did not have to do this, it was totally unnecessary." I looked at him seriously.

"I didn't have to but I wanted to." he said behind me.

I looked at the jewelry; there was a section for my belly rings. "You bought me new ones?"

"Uh…" he looked at them. "Alice did, she went shopping for some yesterday, and I asked her to get some new ones for you. "

"Oh, that was sweet of you to ask her, thank you," I turned around to give him a kiss on the cheek, and hugged him.

With a grin plastered on his face, "come on we have to un pack you clothes and stuff." he said pulling me towards the boxes, in the middle of the room.

We un-packed with no big conversation as we did when we packed, but we did have conversation, some on where to put stuff.

When we finished we laid in my bed, holding hands. Feeling the coldness of the bed made me flash back. . .

"_Isabella!" my father called from down stairs. "You're going to be late for school." _

_Like I cared, I dreaded school. I was about 2 months into school and I somehow managed to already be the nerd of the school. Everyone hated me, especially the Cullens. I don't know what I did to deserve the torture they devised. On my first day of school I said hi to them in a normal manner in which I always do. _

"_ISABELLA!" My father called from the stair steps. _

_I looked at myself in my mirror and sighed, I didn't do my hair the way I usually do any more, for a six year old I knew how to put my hair into pigtails, I was always independent on things as such as doing my hair and what not, but lately I didn't do my hair, figuring it always was messed up from the Cullens 'fun' the put on my, so I quite trying on my appearance. _

_I picked up my bags and went downstairs. "Im ready," I said._

"_Go to the car, I'll be there in a sec." my father said in a sweet tone, getting his coffee ready for her work. _

_I went out to the car and went in the back, my father always trusted me to do things myself, he liked how I was independent, and by the age of six I probably had the maturity of an 8 year old. He quickly came out. _

_By the time I got to school, I was almost in tears. I hated school, but to my father he thought it was nerves that just never went away, but they would soon. I looked to my left and saw _them.

_Edward and Rosalie, getting out of their car. They went to the passenger door, im guessing that is where their mother was. I got out of the car, and said my goodbyes to my dad. He drove off. _

_I looked at them again, to my huge surprise they were smiling and laughing with their friends, I had never seen them happy, the only emotion I thought they would give off was angry. Edward stood next to mainly the girls and Rosalie to the guys. They laughed at each other, and playfully shoved. Then Edward made eye contact with me. I immediately turned around hoping he would notice me again._

_About 30 seconds later I felt a hand on my shoulder. _

"_Smelly belly?" he said as he turned my around. _

"_Yes?" I said, I looked around to see if anybody was looking at us, the other kids playing carelessly. _

"_Excuse me?" he said in an angry tone. "You call me Sir or nothing else, I don't like someone of your level calling me by my name," he said _

_Then he began hitting me, but very subtly so no one could see us behind the tree he pulled me by. _

_That was the first real bruise he gave me, he punched my so hard on my arm and jaw that it left purple marks, that Charlie had asked about but I wanted to fight my own little battles, so I brushed it off as falling. _

_Little did I know it wouldn't be a little battle but a big war. _

"Bella?" Edward tugged on my arm, he hand giving me the same sensation it did 9 years ago, I flinched. "Ok. What did you remember?" he asked pulling back.

"It was t-the first time, w-when you gave m-me a bruise f-for the first t-time," I stuttered., like I was 8 years old again. "y-you made me c-call you s-sir," I said as I closed my eyes, unable to even look at him.

"hey." he said in a whisper as he pulled me into his chest. "Im sorry, I was angry that you saw me with a bunch of girls that didn't matter, I know that's no excuse but…" he hugged me tighter.

"Its ok, you don't have to explain, I don't care, nothing can change it, and it is the past." I said shaking my head; I realized my stutter was gone.

"I don't care, I am never going to get over it, Bella, I hurt the only thing in the world that matters to me because I was a jealous 6 year old. "He whispered.

"Edward, it is the past," I said but I was unsure of my words.

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean you'll forget it, "

"No, It doesn't but it means I can forgive it," I snuggled closer to him to reassure him, and me.

"Bella, I have to show you something." he said in a soft unsure tone.

I got up, "what?"

"Don't get freaked out ok, everybody already knows, but I wanted the right time to show you. "

I nodded, he sat on my bed. Took off his shirt, my eyes widened by how much muscle he had, he chuckled, "that's not what I wanted to show you," he said behind a smile. He turned his back to me.

I looked at it; there on his right shoulder was a beautiful swan with the name 'Bella' under it, with decoration of swirls of ink all around it, the shading of the swan was perfect, it was a sort of grey-blue, the name black. I couldn't stop staring at it, it was beautiful.

"This is what I wanted to show you," he said.

"Oh my Gosh!" I said touching it. "When did you get this?"

"The day after you got your piercing, we had to do it about ten times because my venom kept on eating at the ink, but after the guy dug in deeper it stayed. We had to go to one of Carlisle's vampire friends, he knows a bunch up in Alaska, and he came down for a night to do my tattoo."

"It's beautiful," I said putting my forehead on his shoulder, "you really did not have to do this, seriously," I said but In all honesty I absolutely loved it.

"You keep saying everything I do, that I don't need to, but has it ever occurred to you that maybe all these things I am doing for you, I want to do them?" he said as he turned.

I hugged him, "No it never occurred to me," I said putting my hands on his abs.

"Are you surprised?"

"No, I always imagined you having an amazing body," I said under my breath.

He chuckled again, "I was talking about my tattoo, but I guess that is fine," he was still laughing.

"Can I get one?" I wanted a tattoo too.

"You already have an amazing body." he said, putting his hands on my hips.

"I was talking about the tattoo, I want one, "I laughed.

"Yeah, you can get one," he studied my face, "why would you ask?"

"Because, i—i—I really don't know." I looked at his face, "I guess I felt like I needed to ask for some reason,"

"Well, in that case, yes you can have one," he smiled.

I wanted to know why he smiled, I wanted to know what he was thinking, I hated that I couldn't read his mind, I more then hated it. I wanted to ask him but then my lips were occupied to do something else a little more important.

. . . . . . .

"Carlisle, I wanted to ask you something." I said walking into Carlisle's office. Edward was downstairs enjoying a nice cup of blood with Esme.

"What is that?" he said pulling his nose out of the book he was reading.

"I wanted to know if you could bring down that tattoo guy for me, that did Edward's tattoo." I asked sitting down on his office couch.

He looked concerned. "What were you planning on getting?"

"Well…" I paused. "I wanted to get Edwards name on the back of neck, and I wanted a different one too…" I got quiet.

He put his book down, but marking his page with his book mark first. "What was the other thing?"

"See, I wanted to get something for Edward, hence the 'Edward' but I also wanted to get something that represents my ties to this family, but at the moment nothing comes to mind that represents your family, I was wondering if you had an idea?"

He chuckled, and rummaged through his desk draw, "I think I have just the thing." he said with a smile. He came over with a piece of a type of mettle in his hand. He showed it to me, "this is what I call 'the Cullen crest'. It was a lion in a fighting position with paws up in the air. Under it read 'Cullen' **( cn1 . caboodle hi/img/b/0/0/34/b/AAAAC24tuwAAAAAAADS3Cw . jpg=1235169443000 no spaces. and in my story there is no chain like the picture,) "**The Cullen crest is a family crest that is worn by all of the Cullen family. Each member wears the crest to show that they're a family, not just a coven, and it also shows their loyalty to each other. all the boys have a wrist band, and the girls wear a necklace." he left the piece of mettle in my hands, I examined it, I absolutely loved it, I looked up at Carlisle who was picking up a box from his shelves, opened it and took something out, "me and Esme wanted to give you this, but we just didn't know how," he said walking over to me. Taking the mettle from my hand and replaced it with a necklace.

I looked at it; it was a necklace of the Cullen crest, "your giving my it?"

"Yes, your apart of our family, and we want to show you it in everyway possible."

I couldn't do anything but hug him, I hugged him hard. "Thank you," I said. He chuckled. "I love you," I said in his shoulder.

"I love you too." he said letting go, I did the same.

Everything was changing; no matter how little it was, the days that followed, we lived together in peace. I loved them more then I did before, no one could ever take their place. I hadn't had a flash back since that day. . .

Little did I know that everything would change in a heartbeat. I had a bad feeling, nothing could go good, and stay like that with out something bad happening. I didn't know then that everything would go back to how it all began, when I came back. Afraid and Forgotten. . .

**AN: ok, so I'd like to thank all that alerted this story, means a bunch to me. **

**I am writing a new story, it is completely different form this one. I might add a summary to the next chapter. I am still writing it, I have the first chapter/preface done, but I want to catch up on this story or at least get to chapter 13 before I add another one to the load. (: so maybe look out for the next AN for the summary. **

**I know this wasn't exactly a long chapter but im working out the kinks for future events (: **


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: sorry this chapter took so long, I hit a writer's block. This is a RRREEEAAALLY short chapter but tons of goodies in it. (: thanks for the reviews and alerts.**

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We had it all, we were just about to 

Fall even more in love

Then we were before

I won't forget

About us. 

-Don't Forget

by Demi Lovato.

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**Chapter 11**

"Are you ready yet?" Edward said with only his head through the door to my room.

I looked at him, by looking at my mirror, "yeah, give me a sec though." I said getting up.

"Alright, we'll be downstairs." he said before he left.

I opened up a drawer to my desk, one with a mirror. And I pulled out my necklace, I quickly put it on. Today I was wearing a red shirt with a black jacket and some black skinny jeans that Alice had lent me. With my necklace of course.

When Edward had saw me with my necklace, and I had told him about my tattoo plan, he was beyond happy, ecstatic even. he wanted me to wear my necklace everyday, because it showed I belonged to him, when I told him, that it was more then that, it showed I belonged to family, that made him a little angry, it made him angry that I belonged to anyone rather then just him.

I ran downstairs, and we all left for school, after telling Carlisle and Esme good bye. When we got to school, I was excited. We all said our good byes, and headed off to class, Edward was angrier today, because apparently today, to the boy's in the school, I looked 'majorly fuckable' in this outfit. I squeezed his hand in mine, to reassure him.

Class had begun, when some one walked in, I looked up from taking my notes. And since I was a vampire I wasn't sure if this was the correct term but I would use it any way, My Heart stopped beating and dropped. I was shocked beyond all belief, because it wasn't just any boy it was, Jacob Black. He had come to forks. Crap.

"Can I have your pass?" the teacher asked him. Jacob handed him the paper, "Aw… Jacob Black, Welcome to Forks, have a seat any where and just follow along till you catch up,"

Edward noticed how I winced at the name, he knew why, he passed me a note.

Is it him?

I nodded.

Are you ok?

I shook my head no.

He squeezed my hand to reassure me.

Jacob, he had to come, he just couldn't stay where he was in Arizona, he had to destroy everything, he had to take me back to the place I was before, in a split second I was brought back to the same feeling that had caused me to run away.

I raised my hand. I needed to get out of class. Now.

"Yes, Izzy?" the Teacher asked me. Every one looked at me, including _him._ I saw his expression, gaping mouth and his eyes bulged.

"May I use the rest room?"

"Yes, of course," _you can do anything…_ he thought.

I stood up and walked to the door. _What? What the fuck? Is that Bella? _I heard in mind before, I walked out of the class room.

I ran to the bathroom, and lost it, it felt like I could breathe, although I knew I wasn't able to any way, that was the only way to describe how I felt.

I was terrified to go back to the class room. I wasn't near ready to back and face him, but I had to. I had to face him.

about 5 minutes later I was back in the class room, walking to my seat, when I passed Jacob I tried to read his mind. _It is… it is her… dang she smells gross, too sweet. _I sniffed, but all I could smell was a horrible dog smell. It quickly went back to my seat, and I took out my notebook, to write Edward a note.

Why does it smell like wet dog in here?

He chuckled. And wrote in his notebook in response, he wrote:

It seems Jacob, is more then just human, Im guessing, he is a werewolf.

I read his mind and he is here because of his grandfather, he came to see him

And his very distant cousins. Although he has never been in forks,

He has family here. And im sure his cousins are werewolves too.

Were Werewolves even possible? Was anything normal and sane at all? I tried reading his mind again. _I have to talk to her… I know what she is… would she remember me? Is she the reason why I am here? I don't want to kill her. I hate being the pack leader. I don't want to _have_ to kill her. _

His thoughts were like speeding bullets. So fast and almost unreadable. He was the _pack leader? _That must mean there are more. Why did he have to kill me? He knew what I was? why was he here.

The Whole class, I spent reading his mind. All I knew was, he was a werewolf, and he was in forks because there was an uprising in vampire activity, in forks and Seattle. At the end of class Edward and I walked up to him, I would use the term, my heart was pounding but I couldn't.

"Jacob," I put my hand on his shoulder.

He turned. Looked at Edward, and sighed. "Bella?"

"We need to talk," I almost yelled. I was still angry with him.

"Yeah, _we_ need to," he emphasized 'we' meaning no Edward.

"Edward is coming," I tried.

"Im not leaving her alone with you, dog," Edward was angry now, holding his hand, he held onto it tighter.

"Fine, lets go," he said turning around and walking towards and exit at the back of the hallway.

We exited and we all walked to the other end of the school.

"Why are you here?" I pulled Edward closer to me.

He sighed, "To kill vampires."

Edward laughed. "You really think you can take us, pup?"

"I wouldn't be so sure of yourself; we have killed your kind before,"

"You're a werewolf," I stated.

"You're a vampire,"

"You smell… really bad," I shot.

"You smell worse," he smiled.

"Watch it, mongrel," Edward growled.

he scoffed, "is this your boyfriend?" he folded his arms.

"No, Edward is much more then that, he is my mate, a vampire term, sort of like a soul mate time ten," I smiled at Edward.

Jacob scoffed again. Im guessing Jacob had a realization because his next words were what I had been afraid of. "Do you mean _the_ Edward? The one that made your life hell, when you were a little girl."

Edward got angry, "were moving on from that, but yes I am _the_ Edward. Do you have a problem with that?" Edward gave him an 'if-you-say-anything-wrong-i-will-kill-you' look.

"uh… yeah," he looked at me, "HOW ON EARTH COULD YOU LOVE HIM? HE DESTROYED YOU! REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOLD ME IF YOU EVER SAW HIM AGAIN YOU WOULD GIVE HIM A PIECE OF YOUR MIND. DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER HOW BIG YOUR GRUDGE WAS AGAINST HIM? I CANT BELIEVE YOUR WITH HIM, AFTER ALL HE DID TO YOU, BELLA, YOU NEED TO LEAVE HIM NOW!" even after all this time, him saying my name crushed me.

"JACOB! DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME BELLA EVER AGAIN! YOU LOST THAT PRIVALAGE A LONG TIME AGAO, I ALSO THIK YOU ALSO LOST THE PRIVALEGE TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO, WHEN YOU DECIDED TO DESTROY ME BY BREAKING MY HEART. LIKE EDWARD SAID, WE ARE WORKIGN ON THE GRUDGE AND ITS ALMOST LIKE ITS NOT EVEN THERE ANY MORE, I THINK YOU SHOULD STAY OUT OF IT, OR," I got closer to him, "I WILL KILL YOU AND I WONT EVEN THINK TWICE BOUT IT," I got quieter, "now, I love Edward, and I would never leave him, it makes me laugh that you would thing I would listen to you after what happened."

"Bella, you can't be with im, if you're not going to listen to me as your ex, listen to me as a friend, Bella, he is not good for you, and you really don't think he would hit you again, he tortured you for 2 years! People don't change! Especially people like that!" he pointed to Edward in disgust.

Then I was really pissed. "You, honestly, think you're my friend? And yes, I don't think Edward would ever hit me EVER again! He has changed, and all the feelings he had to hit me are LONG gone! and people do change, I changed, I am not that little girl any more, I am not the girl that fell in love with you, when I was 16, you cant tell me what to do any more!" I wasn't surprised by how our conversation turned.

"But I do need to tell you what to do, apparently!" Jacob yelled.

"Why?" I shot back.

"BECAUSE I STILL LOVE YOU,"

Right then and there, my world came crashing down.

"Alright, your done here!" Edward pulled me away.

But Jacob pulled me back, "No your done here!" he yelled at Edward.

"Let me Go!" I yelled at him pulling back my arm and I slapped him, he looked at me surprised. "You think you can tell me that you love me, still? well, let me give you a news flash, I Hate you, Jacob Black, your some_thing_ I would never be able to love again! You broke my heart, and left me ALONE to pick up the pieces, you were the one who made the bet, you were the one who had sex with me and then left! Ignored me and then a week later I found out it was all for a bet, it was your entire fault! You do not love me! You want what you can't have! You're never touching me again, you come near me ever again and I will not hesitate to hurt you! Im sure, if I ask Edward, he'd be more then willing to hurt you!"

I held Edward's hand and turned and walk away.

"You still love me, huh, remember you said forever and always, right before we made love, you said it, you said you would love me no matter what, you said forever and always!" Jacob said behind us. "I'll get you back! You'll be mine again!"

The next thing I know Edward was on top of Jacob, punching the shit out of him, "YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT TOUCHING HER EVER! I SWEAR! I WILL KILL YOU!" he got up from Jacob and went back to me, Jacob was on the grass bruises all over his face and a blood nose. "Im sorry," he whispered. "I had to, when he said you guys had sex, it just pushed me off the edge, to think he has a part of you I'd never get, when he said you were going to be his, I lost it again and I had to hit him, im sorry."

"He deserved it," I kissed him, "and im sorry, I had sex with him…" I paused. "I was a kid; I didn't know what was going to happen."

"I don't blame you, I blame him." I kissed me. He grabbed my hand, "come on, let's just take the day off and just stay home."

. . . . .

We lay on my bed, everything quiet. Until he spoke. "Are you ok?"

"Honestly, no…"

"He is not going to touch you," he was angry now.

I sighed. "Im scared."

"Why? Don't be."

"Im not afraid of him, im afraid of losing you, I feel like your going to disappear. run, because now you know that I loved him," I sniffled.

"Bella," he picked up my chin, by his finger. "I would never leave because of that. I would never leave you period. I love you. I freak out when I am away from you for even longer then 1 minute, I couldn't even imagine forever."

I wasn't sure what I would do with Jacob, but I was sure what he would do, Jacob was always stubborn, what he wanted he made sure he would get or else everything would go to hell. But I would hold my own, Jacob would never get me. I would never love him again. I couldn't even imagine leaving Edward, much less, for Jacob. My feelings were mirrored by Edward's.

But I didn't know how Jacob would try. I didn't know how much Jacob still loved me. I wasn't ready to know, but he was relentless and would tell me any way. . .

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**AN: ooooOoooh. a lot of thinking was put in this chapter. **

**Jacob is back… what do you think? **

**My new story is out, it is called 'should've would've could've' I am happy with how it is going soo... Read it please? Review it please?**

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**review? **

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	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I do not own twilight. **

**Ok, this chapter was DEEPLY thought out, I wasn't sure if Edward and Bella were ready for the big step to come, but then I realized that 'hey! We could defiantly build up this!" **

**I really feel like this story has just begun, really. so there is a lot more to come… **

Chapter 12

"You're not allowed to talk to him any more," Edward said angrily, as we both sat down on my bed, waiting for the others, to go to school.

"I don't plan to," I shot back.

Edward took my hand. "If he even thinks of talking to you, I will hurt him, you know this right?"

I nodded, ever since yesterday happened Edward was more possessive then normal, I mean, he wouldn't even let Carlisle make me a cup of blood, saying he was more then capable of taking care of me, and that he should stick to serving blood to his own mate. But then I yelled at him for over reacting. Then he apologized to Carlisle.

As we got to our first period, I was nervous, because Jacob would be in that class. But he didn't show up. Thank God. Edward sighed in relief. But that relief was short lived when Jacob came in tardy, smirking at me. His eyes were purple from the punches Edward gave him yesterday.

He deserved every second of it.

Me and Edward started passing notes and tried to listen to the teacher, but it was something that we learned last week, sort of like a review.

_I need to talk to her again. _Jacob thought. Edward became instantly rigid. I held his hand tighter.

**Are you ok?**

I replied with:

**Yeah, im fine, it's not like I am a**

**Actually going to talk to him.**

He nodded in agreement.

_God, I have to talk to her, with out Edward. _Jacob thought. Edward became more pissed. _She looks hot. I mean Really hot, im not sure this is possible, but her boobs look even greater then they did last time I saw her, and her ass Is amazing. _And that was it for Edward; He almost stood up, but I stopped him writing this:

**Edward, it is alright.**

**Don't think about it. You can**

**Talk to him about it later. **

He nodded. And Jacobs thought didn't go away, then he thought about what I looked like the night we had sex, Edward tuned out, saying if he was ever going to see me naked, that it would in real life, not with Jacobs thoughts. Thank God.

I was very relieved when 1st period was over. We had Spanish next. I took my seat next to him, and we continued to write notes to each other.

**Are you ok?**

I wrote, then he answered with:

**I am so close to punching**

**Jacob in his face, again. If these thoughts**

**he was keep coming I WILL hurt him. **

**this isn't an empty threat, I am going to**

**hurt him next time. and I plan to talk to him **

**after school. you are to go home, I will **

**be back by 5.**

Ok, that scarred me because he would be gone for 2 hours. Just talking? it wouldn't surprise me if Jacob ended up in the hospital.

As the day went on, Edward became more angry and rigid, I wasn't sure if I should have been worried or happy that he was fighting for me. it just seemed so middle school, ya know, the two guys fighting for the girl, they were going to talk after school. I mean it was immature to a certain extent. Edward dropped me off at the house and said he would text me when he got there.

When I got the text that he was talking to Jacob, I was worried, Jacob was never one to hold in his anger, but after what had happened last time, I wasn't sure i should have been worried or not.

He came back at exactly 5, and asked me to come and talk in his room, so I did. He was silent the whole way up their three flights of stairs. It only made more nervous when he asked me to sit down. I sat down on his bed.

"I talked to Jacob." he sat down next to me. But didn't grab my hand that felt like a punch in my face, because every time we were in holding hand distance we would hold hands. I nodded, "and through out the whole thing I couldn't decide whether to kill him fast or slow. He told me he sincerely loved you still. And he told me that he would fight for you." I nodded for him to go on, "Once I told him that we could read others thoughts, he wasn't surprised. He told me that even when you were human you had a way of reading people." he paused as if to think about something. "He told me a bunch of things about you. Like what you were like when you were in high school, he said that he knew you in middle school and was surprised about how much weight you lost and how beautiful you became, he said that was when he started liking you." he paused again, sighed and then continued, "he told me how you acted with his friends, even though all his friends thought the worse of you, you continued to try to be their friends." then he took me hand, and then smiled as if he had just discovered something. "then I asked him if he noticed how you had different smiles for each expression you have, or what you are feeling, he was confused then I explained that your smile is big when your glad, and you raise on side of you smile higher then the other side when your excited, and when your surprised you only smile half way. And you smile all the way, even with your eyes, somehow, when you are truly happy. He said he had never noticed it. Then I asked him if he had ever noticed the scar on your neck, he said he didn't know you had a scar. Then I asked him what was one of your favorite songs, or movies, I laughed when he didn't even know your favorite color. I didn't understand why, when he knew you for 7 years he didn't know any of these things." he looked honestly confused, "he couldn't truly love you if he didn't know anything about you. but then he said something that made me doubt your feelings for me, but they quickly went away, he said if you loved me so much the how did he get you in bed with in 3 months of the relation ship. I couldn't say anything." and neither could I, I wanted to tell him that the reason why is because i cared more for him, and didn't want to screw any thing up, but he continued, "but then I realized, look how it ended between you guys, he manipulated you, he messed with your feelings. I care for you to much to do anything like that. He played you because of a stupid bet. Because he was too stupid to realize how beautiful you are inside and out, he didn't realize how special you were, or how funny, smart, courageous, and amazing you are. When I told him this he said you guys had a 'deeper connection' but I can't imagine a deeper connection then what we have. Btu it seems Jacob is relentless and wont quite." I knew it. "so he is going to try to 'change; for you, like I did, see but it didn't just change for you, I tried so hard to ask for your forgiveness, and some how, I don't know how, you're trying, I also tried to make something of myself, to change who I was and am internally and externally, to change what I see as well as others."

"And you did," I gave him a kiss. "Jacob doesn't understand that. He doesn't understand how much I love and care for you, I've had to face pain, and terror with you, but when you changed I've never felt stronger, more real, more myself. With Jacob, I feel like I have to be what he wants to see. With you I am myself. I can't imagine being with any body but you, having someone to share for ever with," I sighed at the thought.

"You are my only reason for existing if this is what I am." I nodded in agreement, then he kissed me, this kiss wasn't like his ordinary kisses, it was filled with a bunch of want and need, and hope and faith. Then it became rough filled with more want then anything else, I opened my mouth to his tongue. I pulled us to the center of his bed. We made out for a couple of minutes, before I realized: Im ready. I was ready to make love with him, not just sex but make love. I slowly unbuttoned his shirt, in speed that only a human would use. He discarded his shirt, and I saw his top half of his body, of course I had seen his top half before but it was in different context. Then I tried to discard off my shirt, and then his hands stopped mine, "stop trying to take off your shirt."

"You want to do that part?" I panted. I _panted?_ Wow.

"Not tonight."

_Tease._

"Just try. Please."

He continued kissing me but it wasn't like the same as before, it was slowed. But still filled with the same need. He hitched my leg up to his hip, but we still had, what I had thought was, a lot of space between us. I scooted closer. "Not tonight."

Then a realization came, he didn't want me. "Oh, that's ok, I guess. You only like me as the mate/girlfriend." I mumbled.

We both sat up. He lifted my chin up so we were face to face. "im not saying never just not tonight but, I want to, trust me I do, I may be a vampire, but I am still a man." he reassured me. "I have two reasons though," he paused then let go of my chin, and took my hand, I kept my head up. "I don't want you to prove anything to me. I want us to make love because we want to, not because you feel like you need to prove your love to me. The other reason is I want us to be married," my vampire breathing hitched. "I know it's not the most modern notion—,"

"Its not, it's ancient," I mumbled.

"I know but even if I was human, I would want it like this. I would have officially dated you, I would have done tons of things first but…" he got up from the bed and went to his closet and grabbed something. And came back to the bed, but didn't sit down, he stood next to the bed with a box in his hand, then I realized what it was, my eyes bulged out. "I would have gotten down on one knee," and then he did. His vampire breathing became erratic. "Isabella Swan?" he looked up at me though his impossibly long lashes, his golden eyes still soft, but still scorching. "I promise to love you forever—every single day of forever. Would you do the extraordinary honor of marrying me?"

There were many things I wanted to say, some of them not so nice at all, and others more disgustingly gooey and romantic than he probably dreamed I was capable of. Rather then embarrass myself with either, I whispered, "yes."

"Thank you," he said simply, he then opened up the box and in it was the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. He slipped it on my marriage finger and kissed each knuckle before kissing the finger that had on the ring. _His_ ring. I smiled then kissed him with the same want and need of our first kiss form the evening.

I was ready, for everything to come. Jacob didn't stand a chance to Edward, he didn't even compare. No one did.

But then I really thought, had I really forgiven Edward? was I really over Jacob? Was I ready for everything to come?

The answer was no, I was not. . .

**AN: What is to come? Hmmm….. You'll find out next week. **

**for those of you who are reading my other story, THANK YOU! your favorites/alerts/reviews mean the world to me! and they keep me going! same for this story!**

**I just finished another amazing Saga, the Hunger Games…. it WAS AMAZINGGGG! For those have you haven't read it, READ IT! I was a little iffy, thinking it would be a rip off of Twilight, but my thoughts were quickly shot down. SM even read it and said it was amazing… READ IT!**

**Im not going to ask for reviews any more….) : if you want to review, please do so, but if you don't, it will only take me longer to update since all FF writers know it's the reviews that keep us going. **


	13. Chapter 13

_**Being insane is trying something over and**_

_**Over again, and expecting a different outcome.**_

* * *

Chapter 13 insane.

Jacob: Bella?

Me: Who is this?

Jacob: Jacob.

Me: leave me alone.

Jacob: Bella, you don't have to listen to him.

Me: im not, I haven't even told him that your texting me. It's me who doesn't want to talk to you.

Jacob: but, why, he made an even worse mistake, and he still gets to talk to you?

Me: I am forgiving him. Im engaged to him. I love him.

Jacob: your rushing into this because you think you'll change your mind.

Me: is there a mind to change? I chose along time ago, you chose to play with my heart.

Jacob: I love you.

Me: you lost the privilege to tell me you love me along time ago.

Jacob: I'll earn it back.

Me: don't count on it or hold your breath.

Jacob: im going to fight for you.

Me: Jacob, I. Love. Him. Why don't you get it?

Jacob: you said you would love me forever and always.

Me: that was when you made the bet, played with my heart. I stopped loving you along time ago.

Jacob: will you meet me? I don't want to talk to you over text, please meet me.

Me: Edward is coming.

Jacob: in private.

Me: Fine, but you have 15 minutes; meet me by the school at 5:45, before the talent show tonight at the school at 6. Are you going to talent show?

Jacob: well, I guess now I am.

Me: oh. Ok.

Jacob: do they take walk INS?

Me: idk, you could try. Hey I got to go, bye.

Jacob: bye, I love you.

* * *

. . . . . . . . . .

By the time I got to the school, I was worried. I had Edward by my side, and he was waiting for our departure. It looked at the clock, 5:43. I looked at Edward, he sighed and let go of my hand.

"Don't be late, you still have the talent show to do," he said sadly.

"Hey, its fine, we are just going to talk." I looked into his eyes.

"I don't feel like Jacob, is the only-talk type." he scoffed.

I sighed. "Yeah, but _I_ am."

. . . .

"you actually came," Jacob said with a smile, he tried to hug me, but I backed up, "guess not, huh."

"I only came here to talk to you," I sighed. "What is it?"

"you already know im in love with you, but you don't know how much, you don't know how much I want you,"

He came close, and closer, until he was lip reach. I tried to back up, but all the backing up I did before lead me to a wall, I tried to push him off, but he wouldn't move. He took my face in his hands, and kissed me. There was no spark; it was nothing like Edward's kisses, not filled with want and need, no passion. No heat. I pushed him off. And then my fist connected with his nose and mouth. And he fell to the ground.

I left; I didn't want to be near him. . .

"Did you talk to Jacob?" Edward said, 5 minutes before it was time to go on stage, for me. Im guessing he saw my expression, or smelled him on me, because: "did he hurt you? Im going to kill him."

"he kissed me, I punched him." he instantly got pissed. "talk to him after the show, I need you for the performance."

he nodded, my name was called, I kissed him and left for the stage.

The crowd applauded.

"Hi, my name is Isabella," I said into the mic, "this is for the guy who broke my heart along time ago, and now he is all of a sudden in love with me." I found him in the crowd, "this is for J." I used his nick name.

"_Now that you can't have me _

_You suddenly want me now _

_That im with some body else _

_You tell me you love me"_

I looked at Edward, he smiled. But then I looked at Jacob.

"_I slept on your door step _

_Begging for 1 chance, _

_Now that ive finally moved on, _

_You say that you missed me_

_All along."_

And then Jacob understood the song.

"_Who do you think you Are? _

_Who do you think I am? _

_You only loved to see me Breaking,_

_You only want me Cuz im taken. _

_You don't really want my heart._

_No, you just like to know you can _

_Still be the one who gets it breaking, _

_You only want me when im taken."_

He was saddened by the song, but I didn't care.

"_You're messing with my head, _

_cuz that what you do best _

_Saying there's nothing _

_That you won't do to get me to say yes._

_You're impossible to resist._

_But I wouldn't bet you heart on it. _

_It's like im finally awake, _

_And you just a beautiful mistake"_

I was saddened by the trueness of my words. but i was with edward now, i couldnt be happier.

"_Who do you think you Are? _

_Who do you think I am? _

_You only loved to see me Breaking,_

_You only want me Cuz im taken. _

_You don't really want my heart._

_No, you just like to know you can _

_Still be the one who gets it breaking, _

_You only want me when im taken."_

"_Thank you for showing me _

_Who you are underneath, _

_No, Thank you I don't need _

_Another heartless misery._

_You think im doing this _

_To make you jealous,_

_And I know that you hate to hear this_

_But this is not about you any more"_

I sighed and continued.

"_Who do you think you Are? _

_Who do you think I am? _

_You only loved to see me Breaking,_

_You only want me Cuz im taken. _

_You don't really want my heart._

_No, you just like to know you can _

_Still be the one who gets it breaking, _

_You only want me when im taken. _

_Now that you can't have me you suddenly want me. . ."_

The crowd cheered, louder then all of my other performances. I walked off the stage, and walked to Edward, and gave him a kiss. Then it was his turn to go on the stage.

"Hi, im Edward." The crowd cheered just by him saying three words. "this is about my situation."

"_When he was seeing her_

_You could see he had his doubts_

_And now he's missing her_

_Because he knows he's missing out_

_Now it's haunting him_

_Her memories like a ghost_

_And, he's so terrified_

_'Cause no one else even comes close"_

I laughed at the song, because I knew what he was singing about.

"_He's the guy that you should feel sorry for_

_He had the world but he thought that he wanted more_

_I owe it all to the mistake he made back then_

_I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend_

_So then, along comes me,_

_This undeserving mess (undeserving mess)_

_Who would believe my life_

_Would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)_

_Two years ago_

_He left all that to breathe (left all that to breathe)_

_Who would have known_

_He would leave everything I need"_

he looked at me, and smiled, I smiled back.

"_He's the guy that you should feel sorry for_

_He had the world but he thought that he wanted more_

_I owe it all to the mistake he made back then_

_I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend_

_If it wasn't for him_

_I would still be searching_

_If it wasn't for him_

_I wouldn't know my best friend_

_If it wasn't for him_

_He would be able to see_

_That if it wasn't for him_

_He'd be as happy as me"_

He looked at Jacob, and smiled.

"_When she and I settle down you can bet_

_That he is going to have to settle for less_

_He's someone that I would hate to be_

_I got the girl and he's left with just the memory_

_He's the guy that you should feel sorry for_

_He had the world but he thought that he wanted more_

_I owe it all to the mistake he made back then_

_I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend_

_If it wasn't for him_

_I would still be searching_

_If it wasn't for him_

_I wouldn't know my best friend_

_If it wasn't for him_

_He would be able to see_

_If it wasn't for him_

_He'd be as happy as me"_

Edward walked off the stage, and gave me a kiss, I smiled. "I love you," he said.

"I love you too." I gave him another kiss, "let's go home,"

We held hands, and was about to go home, when I heard Jacob's voice over the intercom. I paused, and slowly turned, afraid of what I was about to see.

"Hi, im Jacob," he said into the mic. "this is for a boy, who believes he cane make the same mistake over and over, but the girl with doesn't believe it." he looked at me and Edward.

"_Hey girl you know you drive me crazy _

_One look puts the rhythm in my hand. _

_Still I'll never understand why you hang around _

_I see what's going down."_

then I had realized what the song was, faced down. he looked at me, pissed off.

"_Cover up with make up in the mirror _

_Tell yourself it's never gunna happen again _

_You cry alone and then he swears he loves you"_

Did he seriously doubt Edward feelings for me? and it would never happen again, the abuse would never happen again_. _

"_Do you feel like a man _

_when you push her around? _

_Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? _

_Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end _

_as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found". _

He looked at Edward being more cocky then ever, looking as if Edward was less then him.

"_A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect _

_every action in this world will bear a consequence _

_If you wade around forever you will surely drown _

_I see what's going down. _

_I see the way you go and say you're right again, _

_say you're right again _

_heed my lecture"_

Jacob just didn't understand how much I loved Edward and how much Edward loved me.

"_Do you feel like a man _

_when you push her around? _

_Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? _

_Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end _

_as your lies crumble down a new life she has. _

_Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough.. _

_Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough.."_

He looked out into the crowed, and smiled.

"_One day she will tell you that she has had enough _

_its coming round again. _

_Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? _

_Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? _

_Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end _

_as your lies crumble down, a new life she has. _

_Do you feel like a man, when you push her around? _

_Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground? _

_Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end _

_as your lies crumble down, a new life she has. _

_Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough."_

He walked off the stage and looked at me and Edward, and then Jacob kissed me again_. _Edward pushed him again, so did i. Jacob walked out side, but Edward followed him, to the last place Edward beat him up.

Jacob was waiting, as if he had called us.

"if you ever touch her against her will again!" Edward looked like he was bout to punch Jacob in his face.

"she's not sure what she wants." Jacob growled.

"well, let me give you a clue, wait for her to say the words." Edward rasped.

"fine! and she will," Jacob was about to walk away, but Edward stopped him by his words.

"if you ever kiss—no touch her again, I will break your jaw for her," he promised, his tone still gentle and deadly.

"what if she wants me to?" Jacob drawled, arrogant.

"if that's what she wants then I wont object," Edward said unworried, and he didn't need to be. "you might want to wait for her to _say_ it rather then trust her interpretation of body language—but its your face,"

Jacob grinned. _Please. _Jacob thought.

"You wish," I grumbled.

"Yes, he does," Edward murmured. "one more thing, I will be fighting for her too. You should know that. Im not talking anything for granted and I'll be fighting for her twice as hard for her as you will." but he didn't have to fight for me, he already had me.

"Good," Jacob growled, "it's no fun beating some one who forfeits."

"she _is _mine," Edward's voice was suddenly dark, not as composed as before, "id dint say I would fight fair,"

"neither did I," _bitch._ Jacob thought.

"Best of luck,"

Jacob nodded, "yeah, let the best _man_ win,"

"That sounds about right, _pup" _

Why did Edward feel as if he had to fight for me, I was engaged to him, I was going to spend forever with him. I was done with Jacob. I didn't understand, why? Either way, I was not going with Jacob, I was not. I will not, and I certainly never shall.

* * *

AN: What do you think?

Songs:

Taken- one direction

my girls ex-boyfriend- Good charlette (i think thats how you spell it.)

face down- red jumpsuit apparatus

* * *

What is your favorite song?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

_**3 WEEKS LATER**_

* * *

Ever since the talent show Edward was …. Distant. But there at the same time, it was strange, we made out but didn't talk, no real conversation would ever come between us with out him trying to make a move and me failing at trying to be strong and saying no. even in school, when I would write him a note he would write one back saying meet me in the janitors closet or outside. I was beginning to believe he didn't want me anymore, that he was slowly giving up.

So tonight I told him he HAD to talk to me, or else I would move back to my old house, I still sort of lived there, but I mainly live in the Cullen house. I was going to show him the song I wrote for him, a song of him being distant, no talent show, no one to destroy the song itself. No Jacob.

Jacob was closer then Edward was, it seemed the more Jacob kept trying Edward would be more distant. I didn't talk to Jacob, but he sent me Flowers at least 6 times a week, and left chocolates in my locker, both always with a note saying he was sorry or give him a chance, there was one note that really hurt me, it had the words, now and forever, his words when ever I had said forever and always. He says it wasn't about the bet any more, but it was, no matter what he said or did he would always be the person who treated me like I wasn't human, who left me right after my first time to go tell his buddy's he did it and get a couple of bucks. I know Edward didn't exactly treat me like I was human either, but I am forgiving him, I truly am, I just haven't exactly got that push I need, I haven't got to that yet, and him distancing himself is only making it worse.

I laid on his bed waiting for hi to come upstairs like I had told him, then I heard a knock on his door. This always seemed funny to me, Edward had _always_ knocked, no matter what room he was going into, except for school, it was sort of weird. But then he came in.

"Hey, are you ok?" his voice was a surprise to me; I haven't heard him in a while.

I sighed, "Just have a seat." I tired to act some what professional, so he didn't get any other idea.

He laughed, "What's with the third degree?"

"Ok, I wanted to talk to you about something,"

His smile dropped, "oh, ok,"

I took a big breath. "Why wont you talk to me," I shot out, "I mean, it seems when ever I am near you, you try to put a move on me. I haven't had an actual conversation with you in 3 weeks,".

"Is it strange that im so turned on by my beautiful fiancé that I want to put a move on her every time we talk?" he tried to hold my hand, and pulled in closer.

That wasn't it, I know it wasn't. "That's not it," I pulled away.

"How do you know?" he challenged.

"It happens more at school then at home, at home you just ignore me and sulk in the living room or your bedroom, and when you want a little make out, then and only then will you make out with me. But at school it's ALWAYS you want to make out with me, I want to know why?"

He stayed silent, not moving, not fake-breathing, which was a habit of all the Cullen family. Then I realized it.

"You don't trust me," I deadpanned.

He stayed silent again.

I scoffed, "are you kidding me?" I was pissed. "I am engaged to you! I have said yes to forever with you, and you think im going to cheat on you? Oh, let me guess who you think who with…. hmmm… does it start with a 'J' and end with an 'acob'?" I stood up from the bed.

"Sorry, if im a little on edge considering you loved him!" he stood up and yelled.

"Exactly! _LOVED_!" I yelled, "AS IN PAST TENSE!"

He sighed, and turned, as if not wanting to look at me because of the next thing he would say, "You don't stop loving somebody, either you always do, or you never did," he silently said.

"Well then I guess I never loved him, because I don't have any feelings for him what's so ever!"

"Bella, if there was no bet involved, would you still be with him?" he received silence this time, "exactly, you do or did love him."

"Edward, realizing that the only person who has ever treated you like a human being, and not a little kid or beat me, the only person who you thought loved you, didn't in fact treat you like a human being but a bet, some one who treated me like a little kid, beat me emotionally, and in fact didn't love me like he told me, millions of times before, it kind of gives you a wake up call that you shouldn't love him and then you don't." I was sad now.

"Bella, he has a part of your heart I'll never be able to have, and that terrifies Me." he took a big sigh. "You had sex with him, how do I know that you still don't have those feelings for him?"

"Uh, I thought I made it perfectly clear that I chose you over him, when I said I would _marry_ you, Edward,"

Then he looked pissed. "Jacob doesn't seem to care, then why should you?"

"It doesn't matter with Jacob, who is in this relation ship? You and _me!_" I yelled, pointing between us, I was surprised; I had the courage to say these things. "I can't believe you, you don't trust me? When I am the one who shouldn't trust _you!_" he looked confused. "Do you seriously not read people's minds when you walk through a door, go out on stage when you walk out on stage, or even just go to school? Edward, Girls would do anything to have you even if it means cheating with you. So I don't know why you're getting all butt-hurt over this. Girls would crawl all around the world for you, this is one guy that broke my heart 1 year ago, that I promised myself I wouldn't go back to!" I couldn't believe he didn't trust me.

"Those girls mean ABSOLUTLEY nothing to me!" he yelled. "I do trust you."

"Apparently not." I shot back. "Edward you have to trust me."

"I do trust you; it's him I don't trust."

"He means ABSOLUTLEY nothing to me!" why couldn't Edward understand that I was going to stay with him? That I loved him unconditionally, irrevocably. I turned and walked to the door, "when you realize that, and that I love you no one else, that you want to give 'us' a shot, and then you can talk to me." I mumbled.

"Im the one who isn't giving 'us' a shot? Hey, you're the one that's leaving." he mumbled.

"You're the one that's not stopping me." I said quietly. "Edward, I do love you. I am going to stay with you. But until you realize this, I can't do it. I can't be with some one who doubts me love for them." I whispered then walked over to him, and gave him a kiss on his cheek. And then I walked out. I didn't look back, because I knew the look on his eyes, I knew I would have to stay if I looked into his eyes.

I walked home, not caring if I got hit by a car, I honestly wanted to die, but I knew it would take a lot more then a car crash to kill me. I can't believe I just left Edward. I felt so tired, and drained, but I couldn't sleep, I wanted to be held but Edward wasn't around. I wanted things I knew I couldn't have.

When I walked home, I was instantly saddened. Realizing, that tomorrow was Saturday, I would be alone all day.

I went up to my room, and wrote this:

_**These are clouds aren't going nowhere, baby  
Rain keeps coming down  
I just thought I'd try to call you, baby  
For you got too far outta town  
And I hope that you get this message that I'm leaving for you  
'Cause I hate that I left without hearing the words that I needed to**_

**_And I hope you find it,_**  
**_What you're looking for_**  
**_And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be_**  
**_And so much more_**

**_And I hope you're happy, wherever you are_**  
**_I wanted you to know that_**  
**_And nothing's gunna change that_**  
**_And I hope you find it_**

**_Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever?_**  
**_Last words that I said_**  
**_But that was nothing but a broken heart talking', baby_**  
**_You know that's not what I meant_**  
**_Call me up, let me know that you got this message that I'm leaving for you_**  
**_'Cause I hate that I left without hearing the words that I needed to_**

**_And I hope you find it,_**  
**_What you're looking for_**  
**_And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be_**  
**_And so much more_**

**_And I hope you're happy, wherever you are_**  
**_I wanted you to know that_**  
**_And nothing's gunna change that_**  
**_And I hope you find it_**  
**_Whatever it is out there that you were missing here_**

**_And I hope you find it,_**  
**_What you're looking you_**  
**_And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be_**  
**_And so much more_**

**_And I hope you're happy wherever you are_**  
**_I wanted you to know that_**  
**_And nothing's gunna change that_**  
**_No, no, no_**  
**_And I hope you find it_**  
**_I hope you find it_**

I hoped he found that I did love _him, _no one _else,_ I wouldn't change that. I still did. Nothing would change it. But for the reasons of which I had told him earlier, I just couldn't do it. And if he didn't find it, realize it, then I honestly don't know what I would do.

* * *

_**EPOV**_

It had been 3 weeks since the fight with Jacob. Since I said I would fight for her, I was trying… sort of.

I didn't want her to think… Because I knew if she thought, about our situation, she would pick Jacob any day. She would realize that she still loved him, that he was the safest bet, that he wouldn't hurt her, that he never did. Compared to me.

Today she wanted to talk. I was worried. But before I knew it, I was knocking on my bedroom door. I had always done this since I had caught Rosalie and Emmet having sex in there room. EW. From then I on I knock. I walked in. She was sitting on my bed.

"Hey, are you ok?" I asked.

She sighed, looking worried and sad, "Just have a seat."

I laughed, trying to lighten the mood "What's with the third degree?"

"Ok, I wanted to talk to you about something,"

Any emotion other then worried instantly left me. Had she realized it? Realized that she loved him more then me? "Oh, ok,"

She took a big breath. Yes, she had come to a certain realization. "Why wont you talk to me, I mean, it seems when ever I am near you, you try to put a move on me. I haven't had an actual conversation with you in 3 weeks,"

I came up with a lie quickly; "Is it strange that im so turned on by my beautiful fiancé that I want to put a move on her every time we talk?" i tried to hold her hand, and pulled in closer.

"That's not it," she pulled away.

"How do you know?" I challenged. Did she realize it?

"It happens more at school then at home, at home you just ignore me and sulk in the living room or your bedroom, and when you want a little make out, then and only then will you make out with me. But at school it's ALWAYS you want to make out with me, I want to know why?" she looked pissed.

I stayed silent, not wanting to tell her the real reason.

"You don't trust me," she said in disbelief.

Silence again.

"Are you kidding me? I am engaged to you! I have said yes to forever with you, and you think im going to cheat on you? Oh, let me guess who you think who with…. hmmm… does it start with a 'J' and end with an 'acob'?" and she guessed it. Ding ding we have a winner.

"Sorry, if im a little on edge considering you loved him!" I tried to change the track we were on to figure out my real reason.

"Exactly! _LOVED_! AS IN PAST TENSE!" She yelled.

Then I realized, this was a part of the reason. I turned at my realization, ashamed, and said the truth in my next words. "You don't stop loving somebody, either you always do, or you never did,"

"Well then I guess I never loved him, because I don't have any feelings for him what's so ever!"

"Bella, if there was no bet involved, would you still be with him?" I received silence this time, "exactly, you do or did love him." My heart dropped.

"Edward, realizing that the only person who has ever treated you like a human being, and not a little kid or beat me, the only person who you thought loved you, didn't in fact treat you like a human being but a bet, some one who treated me like a little kid, beat me emotionally, and in fact didn't love me like he told me, millions of times before, it kind of gives you a wake up call that you shouldn't love him and then you don't." I dint treat her like a human being, but a punch bag. I treated her like a kid. I beat her. But I loved her. This didn't even make sense to me, how in the world did it make sense to her.

"Bella, he has a part of your heart I'll never be able to have, and that terrifies Me. You had sex with him, how do I know that you still don't have those feelings for him?" I deadpanned. Terrified of the next words.

"Uh, I thought I made it perfectly clear that I chose you over him, when I said I would _marry_ you, Edward,"

"Jacob doesn't seem to care, then why should you?" I shot like a bullet at her.

"It doesn't matter with Jacob, who is in this relation ship? You and _me!_" she was right, but I needed to tell her my real reasons for everything. "I can't believe you, you don't trust me? When I am the one who shouldn't trust _you!_" What? "Do you seriously not read people's minds when you walk through a door, go out on stage when you walk out on stage, or even just go to school? Edward, Girls would do anything to have you even if it means cheating with you. So I don't know why you're getting all butt-hurt over this. Girls would crawl all around the world for you, this is one guy that broke my heart 1 year ago, that I promised myself I wouldn't go back to!"

"Those girls mean ABSOLUTLEY nothing to me!" how, honestly, could she say that? If I wanted girls like Tanya and Jessica, I would try to get the, but as of now, I would rather stick needle in my eyes, human form. "I do trust you." I began

"Apparently not, Edward you have to trust me."

"I do trust you; it's him I don't trust."

"He means ABSOLUTLEY nothing to me! when you realize that, and that I love you no one else, that you want to give 'us' a shot, and then you can talk to me." she turned to talk out the door.

"Im the one who isn't giving 'us' a shot? Hey, you're the one that's leaving." I said quietly.

"You're the one that's not stopping me. Edward, I do love you. I am going to stay with you. But until you realize this, I can't do it. I can't be with some one who doubts me love for them." she walked up to me, and kissed my cheek.

If she looked back, then I would tell her my real reason. But she didn't.

I shut my door and sat down with a pen and paper, and wrote this song:

_**Shut the door, turn the light off  
I wanna be with you  
I wanna feel your love  
I wanna lay beside you  
I cannot hide this even though I try**_

**_Heart beats harder_**  
**_Time escapes me_**  
**_Trembling hands touch skin_**  
**_It makes this harder_**  
**_And the tears stream down my face_**

**_If we could only have this life for one more day_**  
**_If we could only turn back time_**

**_[Chorus]_**  
**_You know I'll be_**  
**_Your life, your voice your reason to be_**  
**_My love, my heart_**  
**_Is breathing for this_**  
**_Moments in time_**  
**_I'll find the words to say_**  
**_Before you leave me today_**

**_Close the door_**  
**_Throw the key_**  
**_Don't wanna be reminded_**  
**_Don't wanna be seen_**  
**_Don't wanna be without you_**  
**_My judgment is clouded_**  
**_Like tonight's sky_**

**_Hands are silent_**  
**_Voice is numb_**  
**_Try to scream out my lungs_**  
**_It makes this hard girl_**  
**_And the tears stream down my face_**

**_If we could only have this life for one more day_**  
**_If we could only turn back time_**

**_[Chorus]_**  
**_You know I'll be_**  
**_Your life, your voice your reason to be_**  
**_My love, my heart_**  
**_Is breathing for this_**  
**_Moments in time_**  
**_I'll find the words to say_**  
**_Before you leave me today_**

**_Flashes left in my mind_**  
**_Going back to the time_**  
**_Playing games in the street_**  
**_Kicking balls with my feet_**  
**_Dancing on with my toes_**  
**_Standing close to the edge_**  
**_As I feel myself fall_**  
**_Make a joke of it all_**

**_[Chorus]_**  
**_You know I'll be_**  
**_Your life, your voice your reason to be_**  
**_My love, my heart_**  
**_Is breathing for this_**  
**_Moments in time_**  
**_I'll find the words to say_**  
**_Before you leave me today_**

**_You know I'll be_**  
**_Your life, your voice your reason to be_**  
**_My love, my heart_**  
**_Is breathing for this_**  
**_Moment in time_**  
**_I'll find the words to say_**  
**_Before you leave me today_**

The song was about a girl going away, and the boy (me) wanting to kill himself, something i couldnt do. I was going to try. I was going to talk to Bella. I loved her. I wasn't going to give up. I would not give up. And I'd show her at the next talent show.

* * *

**AN: ok, sorry this was a late update): thanks for all those who review! u drive me to update!(:**

**Songs:**

**I hope you find it- Miley Cyrus (two words in lyrics changed.)**

**Moments- 1 direction.**

**Ok, I know I don't do any EPOV but in this chapter, I wanted you guys to know What, Why, and How. **


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

BPOV

It had been one of the longest week of my entire existence. As much as I hated being 'far' from Edward, I had to be. I was as far as I could be, considering we had all of our classes together, and he still texted me almost all the time, regular texts, none saying he loved me, or he would be over, of if we were going to hang out. Texts saying, what am I doing, where am I, who am I with. He seemed happy when my reply to those texts were, I am writing or drinking blood, and when he asked where I was, I answered, my house, and he even seemed happier when I had said I was with no one.

Did he really think as soon as we had our break, I would go with Jacob, like nothing? Did 'we' mean anything to Edward? Did he really think that low of me? Jacob had tried to get with me. Multiple times. The day after we broke up, although, I didn't exactly know how he found out.

I was drinking blood, writing my song I was going to sing, for the talent show this week. It was only Wednesday. I felt my iPod vibrate, I quickly looked at it.

**NEW TEXT MESSAGE**

**FROM:**

**Edward (:**

**Edward: **Are you going to school tomorrow?

**Me: **uh, yeah. Why?

**Edward: **just wondering. Ok, what are you doing?

**Me:** Writing. Wbu?

**Edward:** Nothing.

**Me: **so it not ok for me to reply with that response, but its ok for you?

**Edward:** fine, im writing too, for the talent show this week.

**Me: **ok, im going to go.

**Edward:** why? We can't text? As friends, at least?

**Me: **I don't want to be just friends? Why can't you understand that? Bye.

**Edward: **Bye.

Why was it so hard for him to understand, that I love him, that I won't leave him? Why was it so hard for Jacob to understand, this either?

I wonder what Edward would write for this weeks talent show? Probably something saying he is happy being a single man again. I hated the thought, but it was true, Edward had left me no hints that he despised his relation status with me; his reactions to anything I said or did were completely strange. The one time that Tanya tried to put the moves on him, and I spoke up, eh looked at me like I was doing something wrong. Did he want Tanya? Did it not matter that she wasn't even a vampire? That she wasn't this mate? I was? Btu later I found out that Tanya was rudely rejected by Edward, saying he would never go from Izzy to her. I kind of laughed from it, but by him saying this it meant, he and I were done. Did he mean it? Really?

I was still trying. Was he? I still loved him. Did he love me?

The next day, I was walking out of Alice's car that is how I got to school. Alice. She drove me, to and from school.

"Bye, Alice." I said trying not to be sad.

"Bye, Bella," she smiled back, and Went with Jasper.

I was walking to my class, when some one tapped my shoulder. I turned. And to no surprise it was Jacob.

His hair was wet from the rain, and he had no jacket on so his shirt was completely wet. "What?" I said.

"I want to know, why you are rejecting me, when you and your pretty boy aren't even dating no more." AW! I loved his grammar! It thought sarcastically.

I sighed. "Jacob, I don't like you! Why can't you understand? If I even had the slightest feelings for you, I would talk to you. But I don't, and Edward and i are just on a break."

"So, I've heard." he scoffed.

What? "What are you talking about?"

"When ever I see Edward, he is sulking around, like he misses you, and I know he does, because that's how I was." he sighed. "Or am."

"Jacob, I love him, im sorry, but I do. I can't imagine life with out him. Things between Edward and I are or will get better. Im sorry, I know we had our fun and stuff, but I know Edward is the one."

"I won't give up." he said silently before he walked away.

I walked to class. Edward sat at out table, silently, looking down, as if in deep thought. Im guessing he knew I was here, because as soon as i took a few steps, he stopped thinking and looked somewhat ok. I took my seat.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Hi," I replied.

"Are you ready for the talent show tomorrow?" he tried picking a conversation, which neither of us could argue about.

"Oh, yeah,"

He sighed. "Any chance that song your writing is about me?" he joked.

I laughed to. "Big chance." I dead panned. "Same for you?"

"Big chance."

'O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'`O'

I was more nervous usual, with out Edward, everything seemed more hard with out him. More difficult, more scary. My hair was curled, and I was wearing light jeans and a t-shirt that Alice had picked out. I had heard earlier that day that Jacob was singing again. I wasn't too happy at the thought.

I was back stage pacing about to go on stage. I was before both Edward and Jacob. I was dreading on what Edward would sing; would it be a sad song? A good one? Something telling me to move on?

Before I could have time to worry more, I heard my name was called. I walked out, and as usual the crowd went wild. "Hello," I said putting the microphone to my height, "I'm Bella, and this song I wrote because before something ended, I didn't get the chance to tell someone, everything I wanted to."

and then I began.

"_I miss those golden eyes, how you kiss me and _

_I miss the way we didn't sleep._

_Like there's no sunrise, _

_I like the taste of your smile. _

_I miss the way we breathe"_

I looked to the right of me and I found Edward staring at me, like I was the only thing to stare at. His eyes were red and puffy, his hair in a bigger mess then usual.

"_But, I never told you, _

_What I should have said,_

_No I never told you, I just held it in,_

_And no I miss everything about you, _

_I can't believe that is till want you, _

_After all the things that we've been through, _

_Miss everything about you, with out you."_

And then I looked to my left, to see Jacob smiling, _she is singing about me!_ he thought, did he really think that?

"_I see your golden eyes every time I close mine, _

_You make it hard to see, _

_Where I belong to you make it to see, _

_Where I belong to when im not around you,_

_It's like im not with me."_

I looked out into the crowd; they all knew who I was talking about. Word spreads fast in high school. It spread even faster because of how gorgeous Edward was.

"_But I never told you, _

_What is should have said,_

_No i never told you I just held it in,_

_Now I miss everything about you, _

_Can't believe that I still want you, _

_After all we've been through, _

_I miss everything about you, with out you. _

_But I never told you, _

_What i should have said, no never told you, _

_I just held it in, _

_Now I miss everything about you, _

_Can't believe that I still want you, _

_After all the things we've been through, _

_I miss everything about you, _

_With out you."_

It wasn't one of my best songs, but it showed that I missed him. The crowd roared. I walked off the stage. I was dreading it, because when we got off the stage we had to go our right. Where Jacob was.

I walked past him, "you know, if you missed me that much then you could just tell me," he said, I could hear the smirk in his voice.

I slowly turned, "believe me, if I had in fact actually missed you, I wouldn't try to hide it, I would show it like I just did with Edward," then I walked off. Knowing I would have to go on the other side to see Edward performance.

I walked to the other side, and just watched him. "Hello," the crowd screamed. "Im Edward, and this song I wrote because I think it's what I need to say, I never did, I regret a lot of things, but she was never one of them. And all I want is another chance."

He went to the piano, and fixed the microphone.

"_It's never been easy for me  
to find words to go along, with a melody _

_But this time there's actually something, on my mind  
so please forgive these few brief awkward lines"_

He sang into the mic with such clarity, and sadness.

"_Since you, my whole life has changed  
It's not just my furniture, you've rearranged  
I was living in the past, but somehow you've brought me back  
And I haven't felt like this since before Alice said relax"_

I laughed at the furniture line because I remembered when I had no space in my new room to put any more stuff, so I had to put some of my stuff in his room, thus rearranging his room.

"_And while I know, based on my track record  
I might not seem like the safest bet  
All I'm asking you, is don't write me off, just yet"_

He didn't want me to 'write him off' meaning write a song of me getting over him. I understood, but why would he think I would ever get over him, that it was possible to get over him?

_"For years I've been telling myself, the same old story  
that I'm happy to live like this, alone and with regret  
but you've given me a reason, to take another chance  
now I need you, despite the fact, that I know you'd never forget"_

_I_ had given him a reason to take a chance. I had to disagree, because he was the one that made me fall in love with im, to take a chance with _him._

"_And though I know, I've already blown more chances  
than anyone should ever get  
All I'm asking you, is don't write me off, just yet  
don't write me off just yet"_

he hadn't blown all of his chances. I would never 'write him off'. Ever.

The song ended. The crowd cheered, like always. More girls screaming, louder than anything. he walked off the stage to the right, Jacob was still there, and Then Jacob said something to Edward, I didn't hear him but after I saw that they were talking I put on my vampire hearing.

"I have considered that. Both of your reasons" Edward replied, to what ever Jacob said to him.

"Then you understand?" Jacob said, "Why I would never give up, because there are always those possibilities."

He nodded, and slowly walked away. What was he talking about? What were they talking about? When Jacob's name was called, he slowly walked on stage.

"My Name is Jacob," he said into the mic. "I wrote half of this song about a year ago. and recently I have been able to finish it."

He slowly began to sing.

"_Last time I saw her it was turning' colder  
But that was years ago  
Last I heard she had moved to Forks  
But where she's now I don't know  
But there's something' 'bout this time of year  
That spins my head around  
Takes me back makes me wonder  
What she's doing' now"  
_

he actually wondered what I was doing while I was gone?

_" 'Cause what she's doing' now is tearing' me apart  
Filling up my mind and emptying my heart  
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows  
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doing now"  
_

I was tearing him apart? What about when he tore me apart?

_"Just for laughs I dialed her old number  
But no one knew her name  
Hung up the phone sat there and wondered  
If she'd ever done the same  
I took a walk in the evening' wind  
To clear my head somehow  
But tonight I lie here thinking'  
What she doing' now"_

"'Cause what she's doing' now is tearing' me apart  
Filling' up my mind and emptying my heart  
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows  
And I wonder if she knows"

He paused then looked at me, then smiled.__

"What she's doing' now is tearing' me apart  
Filling' up my mind and emptying my heart  
I can hear her call each time the cold wind blows  
And I wonder if she knows...what she's doing' now"

Just then I felt hand wrap around me. Instantly I knew it was Edward. "Im so sorry, I was an idiot. The reason I was pulling away from you wasn't because I didn't trust you, it was because, I was afraid as soon as you found out that I was not good enough for you, that you deserved better, you would leave me."

I turned, but his arms kept there place, "Edward, you have to understand, I WILL not leave you, I Love you. That will never change. You are good enough for me, you've changed I know you would never lay your hand on ME ever again, ever. You HAVE changed."

And for the first time, in forever, I felt the trueness in my words. I knew he HAD changed, that I could never leave him. That he could never leave me. That I would never have to worry about being afraid and forgotten again. That I would be fearless and remembered.

**AN: ok update next week (: **

**Songs: **

**I never told you- colbie caillat**

**don't write me off just yet – Hugh grant**

**what she's doing now- Garth Brooks**

**(lyrics were changed, to fit the characters)**


	16. Chapter 16

AN: THANK YOU SOO MUCH MY NEW BETA: Nyx'sReincarnation she was amazing(: helped me out A LOT(:

Chapter 16

Edward and I had been talking; we were friends now, at least. Neither of us just could get over the whole Jacob situation. I trusted him, he didn't trust me. He had forgiven me, I hadn't forgiven him. It was a vicious cycle that would never stop. I knew we just needed a big push to get over our fears.

I hadn't moved back in and I felt that if I did, I would be rushing into something too fast. I still wore my engagement ring because I wanted to be tied to Edward still.

It was my birthday and I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I was supposed to go to the Cullens tonight. As I walked up their–damn, I didn't think thinking 'their' meaning not mine would hurt as much but it did–driveway. I knocked on the door and Edward answered. I gave him a quick kiss and hug and we said our hellos. I walked into a house full of familiar faces. All the Cullens were there and I looked to my right to the couch that laid there. There was a man with black hair. He was muscular, and his eyes were the golden shade that all vegetarian vampires had.

"Isabella, this is our cousin from Alaska. his name is eleazar, he is here for your tattoo, you know the one you wanted?" Carlisle said motioning to the man on the couch.

I walked over to him, "hello I'm Isabella." I shook his hand.

"Hi, Isabella, Happy birthday!" he popped up and shook my hand. We smiled at each other. "Now, I hear you want a tattoo done."

"Uh, yes, I do," I responded.

"Shall we start right now?" he motioned towards the kitchen.

I looked at the faces around me; they all smiled their bright pearly whites. I read all of their minds, except for Edwards of course. I don't know why but I was never able to, so I wouldn't even try now. All of their thoughts were so happy, knowing that this was my tie to their family. "Sure," I smiled back at eleazar.

Before I knew it we were in the kitchen. I was lying down on the table that was set out by Esme, my shirt hiked up, so Eleazar could see my back where I wanted my tattoo. Edward face was frozen when I made the motion to pick it up. I could tell he wasn't happy. Eleazar took a needle and sharpened it with his tool he had.

"Bella, are you ready?" Alice squealed. I shook my head no. her and rose both took my hand "_we're here"_ they thought.

"Bella, you'll get used to it. At first it hurts like a bitch but then you don't even feel it," Emmett boomed.

"Yeah! You get used to it!" Jasper laughed.

"You guys have tattoos?" I asked them.

"Yep! Have Rose's name on my chest," Emmet motioned to his chest where I guess it was.

"And I have Alice's name on the back of my shoulder," Jasper smiled to Alice and She smiled back.

Then all of a sudden I heard a whirring. My breathing hitched. "Don't worry," Eleazar whispered before I felt his hand on my back, but not the needle. "Are you ready?" I nodded and squeezed my eyes tight.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Bella! it looks great!" Alice said as I looked in the mirror. There it was, my Cullen crest. "Terrific birthday present, huh?"

All I could do was nod. Because it was a terrific birthday present. It was the best marking I have ever gotten from the Cullens. I loved it. I moved my hair so I could see my back, but instead saw my 'Cullen' scar, I got shivers. . .

_As Rosalie pulled out her knife, my breathing hitched. I was frozen like a statue. Would she really cut me? Did she hate me that much? _

"_Isa-smelly!" she turned, "get over here now!" _

_I walked over to her, "Y-Yes, Ma'm?" I looked up to see her eyes filled with excitement. This excited her? To hurt a little girl? _

I was pulled out of my flashback by a vibrating from my iPod. I took it out of my back pocket, glancing at the screen.

Edward: can you come up to my room?

Me: Sure? I'll be there in a second.

. . . .

I knocked on his door. "Come in," I heard him whisper.

I walked in and he was sitting down with a guitar on his bed. "Hi," I smiled at the picture.

He saw my expression and he chuckled. "Please, come sit down." he motioned to the empty space on his bed.

I did. "what?" I asked.

but he didn't answer, he just started strumming his guitar in a tune I hadn't heard. and then he started to sing.

"_You know I'd fall apart without you_

_I don't know how you do what you do_

_'Cause everything that don't make sense about me_

_Makes sense when I'm with you_

_Like everything that's green, girl I need you_

_But it's more than one and one makes two_

_Put aside the math and the logic of it_

_You gotta know you wanted too."_

I smiled again.

"_'Cause I wanna wrap you up_

_Wanna kiss your lips_

_I wanna make you feel wanted_

_And I wanna call you mine_

_Wanna hold you (YOUR) hand forever_

_Never let you forget it_

_Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted."_

it was a beautiful song and when I scooted closer he didn't stop.

"_Anyone can tell you you're pretty_

_You get that all the time, I know you do_

_But your beauty's deeper than the makeup_

_And I wanna show you what I see tonight"_

"_When I wrap you up_

_When I kiss your lips_

_I wanna make you feel wanted_

_And I wanna call you mine_

_Wanna hold you your hand forever_

_Never let you forget it_

_'Cause baby I wanna make you feel wanted"_

"_As good as you make me feel_

_I wanna make you feel better_

_Better than your fairy tales_

_Better than your best dreams_

_You're more than everything I need_

_You're all I ever wanted_

_All I ever wanted"_

"_And I just wanna wrap you up_

_Wanna kiss your lips_

_I wanna make you feel wanted"_

_And I wanna call you mine_

_Wanna hold your hand forever_

_Never let you forget it_

_Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted_

_Yeah, baby I wanna make you feel -_

_Wanted_

_'Cause you'll always be wanted"_

"That was beautiful." I whispered. "Thank you."

He nodded. Then I kissed him. I hadn't kissed him in what felt like the longest time. As our kiss deepen I felt my phone vibrate again. I sighed and then he did too.

I opened the text.

JACOB: what r u doing?

"You still talk to him," Edward mumbled as he got up to put his guitar away.

I didn't reply to the text. "Sometimes, when you don't reply and I get lonely and bored but I haven't talked to him face to face."

He didn't sit back down. "I don't want you talking to him at all." he said under his breath, angry now. "I don't know why you thought it was ok before,"

"Edward, we weren't together, it was a break. It shouldn't matter. Most of the times he does text me I don't text back."

"That's not the point." he sighed as he looked out the window. "the point is, you knew I didn't like the fact that he is here, you knew I wouldn't like it if you texted him."

I stood up from the bed, "I didn't come here to fight. I don't need this," I said walking to the door.

"If you didn't want a fight, that thought should have crossed your mind when you texted the dog." I heard behind me.

"He wants forgiveness just like you. To have a friend other then vampires would be nice, to know somebody out of _your_ circle would be nice," I shot back.

"I'm pretty sure he wants more then just your forgiveness." he scoffed as if he knew everything.

"You really think I would give him anything more then forgiveness? You think I'd give him more, like friendship?" I scoffed back, "yeah! It would be nice if we could be friends again."

He sighed, as he ran his fingers through his hair, "you've given him more then friendship before."

I was instantly pissed. How could he say that? He knew it would never happen again! "You know what! I'm tired of that hovering over my head! it happened two years ago! I've moved on from it! It is over with."

"And if he hurts you?"

"Edward, Jacob is not going to hurt me," I huffed.

"maybe not intentionally, but the wolves have no control."

Was that why he was mad? That he could hurt me? "neither did you! Why should I trust you all of a sudden when I can't trust him not to hit me or hurt me?" Ok I knew that was a low blow and I knew he had changed.

He stayed silent as If he thought I was right. But that was the thing, I knew I wasn't. I knew Edward would never hurt me.

"I won't talk to him anymore," I turned back around, "I told you this at the talent show, but when you're going to be a grown up, actually talk to me about 'US' not Jacob included, and when you know that I don't love Jacob, that he could never compare to you, that i would never leave you, this,"—I pointed to between us—"is about only us, not Jacob. Yes, he was my ex, but it was over a long time ago. He broke my heart and when you realize this give me a call. Because I'm tired of this." I took off my engagement ring. "Keep it and think about what I just told you." he stood there and didn't take it, so I set it down on his night stand. And I left.

**AN: I know this was short but i wanted to update before I lost some of you guys!**

**START RANT:**

**THE IMPOSSIBLE WAS DONE! THE IMPOSSIBLE WAS DONE! KRISTEN STEWART CHEATED ON ROB! Ahh! How could u cheat on him? I know it is devastating to all of us, and I personally have lost all respect to Kristen Stewart, because A) she was in a relationship B)it was Rob Freaking Pattinson! C) The other guy was MARRIED WITH KIDS! and I also personally felt like she did it because she was scarred at the rate her and Rob's relationship was going (I mean they were getting married there were kid rumors, I mean she is 22) so I think she wanted it to all stop, so she lead to cheating, and I guess BE CAREFULL WHAT U WISH FOR Instead of having the balls to sit down and talk to Rob about their relationship she goes off and Cheats on him. so I have lost all respect for her as a person and actor. ! and then to make matter worse, she puts our a statement saying she is sorry, and that she still loves rob. . . . wow, I personally think that if you really love somebody you wouldn't cheat on them, Rob made it very clear about his feelings on cheating saying 'if im in a relationship I am going to be in it 110% there is no point in cheating, if your unhappy leave' oy, I just don't know how she could cheat on him!.**

**im a little peeved off at some FF writers for taking down their stories or stopped writing, because it was Rob and Kristen not Edward and Bella. BUT I WILL NOT BOYCOTT TWILIGHT FOR IT!**

**END RANT**

**UPDATE NEXT WEEK…**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17 We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together...

For the past week me and Edward have played the same game: one of us would say sorry, but the other would come up with another reason to fight. Our classes we getting awkward. The only way we would talk to each other was over texting. I missed him, I wanted to go back home, I wanted to get back together; I wanted to wear my engagement ring again. But sadly, I didn't think Edward wanted any of those things.

Jacob kept calling, texting, writing even. he sent me roses, about 3 days ago for my birthday. My birthday was in 6 days, the same day as the next talent show. I wasn't sure if I was up for the next one, I wasn't sure if I was ready to write a 'moving on' song, dedicated to Edward.

It was Saturday, and I was in my room trying to write a song for Jacob. I got a text from someone. I pulled out my phone out of my pocket and read the text.

Jacob: hey, I still love you.

Me: Jacob, just leave me alone, I lost Edward because of you, you are that last person on earth I want to talk to.

Jacob: maybe that's a sign that we should get back together.

Me: JACOB. WE. ARE. NEVER. EVER. GETTING. BACK. TOGETHER.

Before I got a response from him, I heard my door bell ring. I ran in my inhuman speed to get it. hoping it was Edward.

my smile fell when I say that it was a man, holding a clipboard. the Delivery man?

"Izzy Valdez?" he read off the clip board. As he looked up, he smiled, "_whoa…" _he thought.

I opened the door wider. "yes?"

"hello, I have a delivery, Just sign here." he handed me the clip board, and pointed to wear I needed to sign. I signed it quickly. Thanks," he said as I gave it back. _"oh my, she is soo hot," _

"no problem," I tried to smile.

He want back to his truck and him and two men came up and pulled up my drive way, a big box. I read the side of it:

**EMD PIANOS**

It was my baby grand piano that Edward had bought for my birthday…

I was instantly saddened by the gesture.

. . . . . . . .

As soon as my piano was in my family room, and the men had left, I was left alone with my piano.

As I inspected it, I realized something, in the front of the piano there was a gold plate with something engraved in front of it. I focused on it so I could read it.

**Bella, **

**It's an extraordinary thing when you can find someone you can bear your soul to, and who will accept you for what you are. I've been waiting for what seems like a very long time, to get beyond what I am. And with you, I feel like I can finally begin. No measure of time will be long enough, but let's start with forever. . .**

**FOREVER AND ALWAYS**

**-Edward.**

I probably read it about a million of times, before I stopped. How long ago did he put this?

Those words inspired me. Edward was still my mate. He would always love me. I would always love him. Then I wrote a song, that I would sing later to him.

Knowing that Edward and I are forever made me write a song for Jacob. It was a song called We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together; I was going to sing it to him at the talent show. This would be the last time I ever talk to him. I was done with him.

. . . . . .. .

TUESDAY:

As I walked onto class, i was surprised to see Edward sitting in his old spot again. Edward had moved into a different spot since our fight, but today he was back. I quickly set my stuff down, and sat down but I didn't say a word. I listened to the teacher and his lesson.

Edward and I didn't talk all day, but he sat next to me. During lunch and classes. I could tell he was angry about something, and before Alice could drive me home he was at the door window. I rolled it down.

"Hi," Edward said in a sad tone.

"The piano came on Saturday," I hesitantly said.

"Oh, that's good," he paused, "so what are you going to do for your birthday?"

This is what he wanted to talk about? "That's the day of the talent show, so I plan on going to that,"

"oh,"

"yeah," Was this what are conversation had turn into? "you could come over after if you wanted… but if your busy-,"

"why would I ever be to busy for you?" Edward interrupted. "I would enjoy going to your house after, We need to talk any way."

"yeah,"

"Ok, ready to go Bella?" Alice said hopping into the car. I nodded. "_Bye, Edward."_ She thought. But the way she thought It as she pulled out made me think was she mad at him too?

"are you mad at him?" I asked Alice. "and Don't lie, I can read your thoughts if you do."

She sighed, "Yeah, We all are," She kept her eyes on the road. "Edward is just being stubborn, instead of having the balls to just sit down and talk to you, he decides to fight with you and it's unfair to you." She grimaced.

"Were going to sit down and talk after the talent show, he is going to come top my house." I tried.

We got to my house, and she pulled into the driveway. "Bye bells, have a good talk with Edward."

. . .. . . . . .

FRIDAY/TALENT SHOW DAY:

All week Edward and I had little conversations. But tonight, hopefully, that would all change. I was about to go onstage, When I noticed Edward was in the crowed. So was Jacob.

I walked out onstage, prepared for anything.

"Hi and the crowed cheered, but mostly it was the Cullens… and Jacob. "I Always keep in wraps on who may song is about, but tonight, I want that someone to come up onstage." The crowed roared. "Can I have Jacob Black on the stage?" I asked looking at him. Then I looked at Edward, his face looked so sad, like I had chosen Jacob instead of him. If he only knew. When Jacob finally came up on the stage, I had a chair set out for him, and he sat down. Finally started:

"_**I remember when we broke up the first time**_

_**Saying this is it, I've had enough, 'cause like**_

_**We haven't seen each other in a month**_

_**When you, said you, needed space, what?**_

_**Then you come around again and say**_

_**Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm going to change**_

_**Trust me; remember how that lasted for a day**_

_**I say, I hate you, we break up, you call me, I love you" **_

I sang, and his face instantly turned from a big, cheesy smile to a big sad frown, in seconds. I didn't look at Edward.

"_**Oooh we called it off again last night**_

_**But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you**_

_**We are never ever ever ever getting back together**_

_**We are never ever ever ever getting back together**_

_**You go talk to your friends talk**_

_**And my friends talk to me**_

_**But we are never ever ever ever getting back together"**_

I looked back into the crowd and they were laughing and applauding.

"_**I'm really going to miss you picking fights**_

_**And me, falling for a screaming that I'm right**_

_**And you, will hide away and find your piece of **_

_**mind with some indie record that's much cooler than mine"**_

I sang it back to Jacob, Right in his face.

"_**Oooh you called me up again tonight**_

_**But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you**_

_**We are never ever ever ever getting back together**_

_**We are never ever ever ever getting back together**_

_**You go talk to your friends talk**_

_**And my friends talk to me**_

_**But we are never ever ever ever getting back together"**_

He was about to walk away, but when the song slowed down he turned around.

"_**I used to think, that we, were forever ever ever  
And I used to say never say never"**_

I looked back at the crowd, and said in a normal tone:

"**He calls me up and he's like, I still love you  
And I'm like, I'm just, I mean this is exhausting, you know  
We are never getting back together, like ever"**

Then I started to sing again, as he was walking off the stage.

"_**We are never ever ever ever getting back together  
We are never ever ever ever getting back together  
You go talk to your friends talk  
And my friends talk to me  
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together**_

We, Oooh, Oooh, not back together, we  
Oh, getting back together

You go talk to your friends talk  
And my friends talk to me  
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together"

I looked at Edward, and He was smiling. He knew that I had chosen him. And I had. Because, I didn't just belong to him, we belonged to each other.

AN:

Songs:

We are never ever getting back together- Taylor Swift.

I will update soon.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: IMMMMMMMMMMM SSSSOOOORRRRRRRRRYYYYY! :/ RL has been… as much as I hate to say it, but it's been a bitch. Updates will start regularly again! I actually have time around my school, work, and family. This is a verrrrryyy short chapter! I know I know! Im sorry again, but I wanted to get at least something out before I loose all of you guys! Expect a chapter, either Sunday or Monday, a much longer chapter!**

Chapter 18: The Talk

As I paced my room, I put my loose curls in a bun. Loose hairs still fell, but I was too nervous to care. Edward was downstairs waiting for me, I told him I was going to get some sweats and a tank top on and I'd be right down. I didn't want to have this talk with him, as much as I knew it was needed, no matter how many times I convinced myself that Edward and I were meant to be together, I wasn't sure what would happen in response to this conversation. I could lose or take my mate. Things would change because of this conversation.

I finally got the courage to go downstairs. When I got to the end of the stairs, I turned to face Edward. He was sitting down on the couch; thinking intently on something. It was at times like this I wish I could read his mind. He got up as soon as he realized I had entered the room.

"Please, sit down," I gestured to the couch, where he was just sitting at. He sat back down. I sat down next to him, "so, I figured we could take turns on asking questions; we have to answer them 100 percent truthfully, no matter what the answer is,"

He nodded. "You can go first if you want," he said.

"Ok," I thought for a second, then I had an idea, "Do you actually believe I still love Jacob Black?" I pressed.

He nodded, "Yeah, you don't stop loving somebody, Bella; you don't just wake up and stop loving them."

"Edward, I stopped loving Jacob Black along time ago, I truly did. I only love you," I took a big deep breath of the useless air.

He nodded, I could tell he processed and understood what I just said, "My turn?" I nodded in response. He thought and thought. The room became filled with silence. I don't know if this is a real thing, or if this is even possible, but I honestly have never ever heard silence quite that loud. The silence said things that words couldn't. "Have you forgiven me?" he asked seriously.

Had I? It thought about it for the longest time, finally I sighed and nodded my head slowly. Then I quickly nodded my head, more sure of my answer then before.

"Thank you," he leaned in to kiss my cheek.

I scooted closer to him. "do you still love me?" I asked silently.

he chuckled, "that is the most ridiculous question I have ever heard." he scoffed slightly. "I could never ever stop loving you, it is as easy as breathing to a human for me to love you, Isabella, Do you understand what im trying to get across—,"

Before he could finish his sentence, I kissed him. I kissed him like he was the last water on earth and I was thirsty, like he was my last kiss on earth, like there was no tomorrow. His tongue asked for entrance and I quickly gave in. he kissed my just as eagerly. I leaned into him, until we were lying down. I was on top of him. We both not worrying about what was happening around us, hell Armageddon could be knocking on my door and I wouldn't care.

I finally pulled away from him. "I love you too." I said silently.

He reached into his pocket for something, and held it out for me. it was the ring. I gladly took it, "thank you," he said.

We both sat up. "I guess we should start the wedding planning…. or I should say Alice should start the planning," I laughed.

He took my face in his hands, "hey, there is no rush, if you want to wait we can,"

"Edward, I've always felt out of step—like, literally stumbling through my life—I've never felt normal, because I'm not normal. I don't want to be. I've had to face death, and loss, and pain in your world but I've also never felt stronger—like, more real; more myself—because it's my world, too. It's where I belong. so I don't want to wait, I want to be tied to you in every way possible."

"ok," he said quietly.

And I did want to marry him as soon as possible; I've never wanted anything more in my life. Edward was mine and I was his, he didn't understand my love for him. He had changed, so had i. everything was different now. I was ready for what ever would be thrown at us; I would never let Edward go.

"Do you wanna watch a movie?" I asked hesitantly. I got up from the couch.

"Sure, what did you have in mind?" he got up with me; I shrugged not having a solid answer. "Well, let's go look,"

"Ok," I took his hand and we led each other to the movie room I had.

He chuckled as soon as we got in my movie room, "what?" I asked wanting to know what was so funny.

"you have so much movies," he laughed again, "I just wondered how we would fit all of these when we got a house together," he smiled.

I chuckled, too, "we aren't getting ride of any of them so when we find a house it has to have a lot of spare rooms so we can fit all my stuff in." I paused, "well, your stuff too."

"That would be perfect," he smiled, looking through all the movies.

After about 5 minutes of looking through all the movies, we finally agreed on the newer version of Pride or Prejudice. I popped it into the DVD player and I sat down beside Edward. "Why are you sitting so far away?" he asked, I gave him a confused look. Then suddenly I was sitting on his lap as he held me on the couch. "This is better," he smiled and kissed my neck.

As we watched the movie, I had realized that THIS was in fact what I wanted; I never would ever want anything else in my whole life, the song I wrote for him (when I look at you) was true in everyway, Because I knew that every time I looked at him I was home, I__see forgiveness, I see the truth, and he loved me for who I was. I loved him for who he was now, more then ever.


End file.
